ULCERS   3'?m2f Discipleship, ministry, faith, works, stress

AMY -- (enters, points to imaginary elevator, C)

LIZ -- (follows holding own abdomen) Where are you taking me?
You said you were going to take me to a drug store. This isn't
the drug store.

AMY -- I didn't say I was taking you to a drug store. I said I
was going to help you with your ulcer. (pushes button next to
imaginary elevator)

LIZ -- Oh, I get it. This must be a medical building and you're
taking me up to see a doctor.

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- (enters elevator toward upstage, turns) Wrong Again.

LIZ -- (enters elevator toward upstage, turns) This isn't a
medical building?

AMY -- No. This office building belongs to a bank.

LIZ -- How is a bank going to help me with my ulcer?

AMY -- Push the button for the second floor. (points to
imaginary button near door)

LIZ -- (pushes imaginary elevator button, steps back) Okay. So,
what's on the second floor that's going to help me with my

AMY -- Actually, there's nothing at all on the second floor that
will be any help for your ulcer.

LIZ -- Then what are we doing here?

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- We're here to learn about ulcers.

LIZ -- But you said this is a bank building. What do bankers
know about ulcers?

AMY -- Not very much. We're going to learn about ulcers from the

LIZ -- The doors are open. (points to imaginary open door)
Aren't we getting out?

AMY -- No. We're going up to the twenty-third floor.

LIZ -- Then why did you have me push two?

AMY -- You'll see. Push twenty three.

LIZ -- (pushing button) You're not making any sense and my ulcer
is not getting any better. (steps back)

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- Say, I don't think you pushed the button hard enough.

LIZ -- Sure I did. (points) The doors are closed, the light is
on and we're going up.

AMY -- I know. But the twenty-third floor is twenty-three times
higher than the second floor. Shouldn't you push the button
twenty-three times harder?

LIZ -- Don't be silly! That's not how elevators work! Just
because it's twenty-three times higher doesn't mean.... Oh.

AMY -- What's the matter?

LIZ -- Why didn't you tell me?

AMY -- Tell you what?

LIZ -- That I was working and worrying harder than I had to.

AMY -- I tried. We all tried. But you were so self-involved that
noone could get through.

LIZ -- No wonder I have an ulcer. I have been working
twenty-three times harder than I have to. This is really
embarrassing. I hope there were no non-Christians watching.

AMY -- What about the young Christians who were looking up to
you as an example of Christian ministry?

LIZ -- What have I done?! You know, I was so busy I didn't even
see this coming. As my ministry grew bigger, I didn't even think
about what I was doing. I just assumed that bigger ministry
meant more work and more worries. But if I'm doing the Lord's
work, it's more like pushing elevator buttons, isn't it?

AMY -- That's the way I see it.

LIZ -- I've got to spend less time working and worrying and
more time on my knees in prayer.

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- Well, I suppose the elevator has taught you what you 
need to know about ulcers. Why don't we go back down to the 
lobby? (points to buttons)

LIZ -- No. Going back down means going back to work. It's time
to smell the roses. (exits elevator) Let's go out to the
observation deck and enjoy the view.

AMY -- (follows) Okay.

LIZ -- (exiting) You know, my ulcer is feeling better already.

AMY -- (follows) I'll send you my bill in the mail.
2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: [email protected]