TRANSLAT 2'1m1f The Bible was misunderstood, not mistranslated

Rev -- Okay, that's our Bible study for tonight. Good night, 
everybody. (moves toward exit)

Oldy -- (stands in audience) Just a minute there, young man. 

Rev -- Yes, hello! Did you enjoy the Bible study?

Oldy -- What's that? Speak up. I can't hear you.

Rev -- I said, did you enjoy the Bible study?

Oldy -- Fine, thank you. Young man, I want to talk to you about 
that new fangled Bible of yours.

Rev -- Oh, you mean the New International Version, the NIV.

Oldy -- I don't care what you call it, it's gotta go.

Rev -- But, why? It's a perfectly good....

Oldy -- I'm surprised that you haven't been inundated with 
complaints. I can't believe I'm the only person who caught your 
glaring errors.

Rev -- What glaring errors?

Oldy -- I found three errors in Joshua 1:8 alone. Look here.

Rev -- You wrote them down?

Oldy -- I wrote them exactly as I heard them. And I quote: "Do 
not let this book of ALLA depart from your mouth."

Young man, since when do Christians and Jews refer to our Lord 
as ALLA. I have heard him called Yahweh, Jehovah, even Adonai, 
but never ALLA.

Rev -- The Law.

Oldy -- What kind of a translation is this anyw.... Did you say 

Rev -- The Law. It says "The Law".

Oldy -- What are you talking about?

Rev -- Joshua 1:8 reads, "Do not let this book of THE LAW depart 
from you mouth."

Oldy -- Oh. Well, that's not all, listen to this:

"Medicate on it day and night."

No wonder we have a drug problem in this country, when your new 
fangled translation tells everybody to MEDICATE on it day and 

Rev -- Meditate.

Oldy -- That's what it says, MEDICATE on it day and night.

Rev -- No, no, the NIV says MEDITATE, MEDITATE on it day and 

Oldy -- Oh. Well, here's the worst one. Listen to this, and I 

"...then you will be prostitutes."

Try to explain that one away, young man.

Rev -- You got that from Joshua 1:8?

Oldy -- I wrote it down word for word exactly the way I heard 

Rev -- Let me look that up. (opens Bible) Joshua 1:8:

"....meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful 
to do everything written in it... then you will be PROSPEROUS 
and successful."

The word is PROSPEROUS.

Oldy -- Oh.

I still think you should use the King James Version.

Rev -- Oh? Why?

Oldy -- If the King James Version was good enough for Jesus, 
it's good enough for me. (exits) Good night, young man. 

Rev -- (exits) Good night.

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