BACK THEEND 3'2m0f Salvation in a person, not in confession Neal -- (seated at microphone) KKDL news time is 3:40 and that means it's time for a KKDL sports update with Bob Murphy. Bob? (exits) Bob -- (enters, sits) Thanks, Neal. The L.A. Kings win big, in spite of yet another injury. The Raiders may move to...are you ready for this... Las Vegas. And the Lakers squeak by the Rockets. We'll have details of these stories and more right after this word from our... Neal -- (enters with bulletin) Excuse me, Bob. We have to interrupt this commercial message for this wire service bulletin: "Scientists at Kitt Peak Observatory in Arizona have been measuring alarming increases in solar flair activity recently. They estimate that the planets Mercury, Venus and Earth with be vaporized by a solar flair in eight and a half minutes." Bob -- (pauses, smiles) And we'll be right back right after this word from our... Neal -- What's the use in running an ad for a sponsor, Bob. We'll all be nothing but ashes before anyone gets there. Bob -- (pauses, smiles) And how apropos, Neal, the commercial message was for Sizzler. Heh Heh. Oh, and look at this sports update: (reads) The Lakers take on the red hot Phoenix Suns tomorrow night. Heh heh. We'll have a preview of tomorrow's game right after this... Neal -- There won't be a tomorrow, Bob. Bob -- You weren't kidding, Neal? Neal -- It's over, Bob. Bob -- But, I had courtside tickets to the Lakers game tomorrow... Right next to Jack... Nicholson... Neal -- Vaporized, Bob. Bob -- What do we do now? Neal -- Jeanie. Jeanie, Honey, if you're listening, Sweety, kiss and hug the kids for me. I'll see you in heaven, Honey. Bob -- Well, I wanna go to heaven, too. I'm gonna confess my sins. Neal -- We don't have that much time, Bob. Bob -- I don't care. I'll get started on the worst ones. First, Doris, Honey, I... I'm sorry, Honey, on that trip to Dallas last fall... I was ah... I was uh...unfaithful to you. I'm sorry, Honey. I'll never do it again. Neal -- You can say that again. Bob -- Let's see...I cheated on my income tax in 1994. I don't always drop a quarter in the basket when I take a cookie from the lunch room. I have 5 unpaid parking tickets and I break the speed limit all the time. And let's see... Neal -- Listen, Bob, confession is good for the sole, but it won't get you to heaven. Bob -- It won't? Neal -- No. The Bible says "yet to all who received HIM, to those who believed in HIS name HE gave the right to become children of God". It's not about ANYTHING YOU do. It's about what HE did for you already. Bob -- Who? Neal -- Jesus. He wants you to receive the gift of his death on the cross as payment for your sins, whether you can remember each individual sin or not. Bob -- You mean I don't have to confess creasing the fender of that BMW in the parking lot? Neal -- What color was the BMW? Bob -- Ah, um.... (clears throat, does a double-take at the page in Neal's hand) Hey, look there. Neal -- Look where? Bob -- The news bulletin. (points) Neal -- (reads) mmm mmm mmm Mercury, Venus, and Earth will be vaporized by a solar flair. So? Bob -- Read on. Neal -- ... mmm mmm vaporized by a solar flair in eight and a half ...millennia. Bob -- That's eight and a half millennia, not eight and a half minutes? Neal -- Oh... Yeah. Bob -- You mean I just spilled my guts to 600,000 KKDL newsradio listeners for nothing? Neal -- Wull, I ah... (stands, backs toward exit) I have to check out the wire service.... (runs) Bob -- (Rolls up his sleeves) Ladies and gentlemen, in just a minute I'll be back at the KKDL newsradio microphone with one more sin to confess... (exits in a huff) Wait till I get my hands on you, you miserable little.... ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |