STANDARD 7'?m2f Moral standards, salvation, sin, Heaven

(based on a sermon illustration by Francis Schaeffer)

LIZ -- (enters backward looking around) What on earth is going

AMY -- (enters opposite pushing hand-truck stacked with file
boxes) And you must be... (stands up hand-truck, reads side of
top box) Elizabeth Johnson.

LIZ -- (turns) Yes. I'm sorry. Have we met?

AMY -- No. I'm your intake worker.

LIZ -- INTAKE? What on earth is going on here?

AMY -- Wrong question.

LIZ -- Excuse me?

AMY -- What on EARTH. Wrong question.

LIZ -- I feel like Alice in Wonderland. You're not making any

AMY -- What I mean is, you're not on earth.

LIZ -- That's ridiculous! I was just walking across the street
and, all of a sudden, I'm here... (looks around) wherever here

AMY -- So you didn't see the truck.

LIZ -- What truck?! Wait a minute! You're not implying that,
when I was walking across the street, I got hit by a truck!

AMY -- (smiles politely, nods)

LIZ -- So, I'm... I'm...

AMY -- Yes, you're...

LIZ -- (holds up hand) Don't say it.

AMY -- Okay.

LIZ -- So, if you're my INTAKE worker, this must be Heaven.

AMY -- Actually, Heaven is over there. (points over shoulder)

LIZ -- (pauses, looks both ways) Listen, this may seem like a
dumb question, but I always thought that when people died they
went directly to Heaven.

AMY -- That's a common misconception.

LIZ -- What exactly does an INTAKE worker do?

AMY -- Well, if you were a Christian, I would show you around
Heaven and introduce you to Jesus.

LIZ -- I'm almost afraid to ask, but what do you do if I'm not a

AMY -- I explain to you why you're not going to Heaven.

LIZ -- I'm NOT going to Heaven?!

AMY -- That's correct.

LIZ -- Well, that's not fair!

AMY -- Actually, according to the creator of the universe, it's
more than fair. And since he created the universe, he gets to
decide what's fair. And he says clearly in the Bible that noone
comes to the Father except through Jesus himself.

LIZ -- Well, that's not fair!

AMY -- It sounds fair to me.

LIZ -- Well, what about the person who never ever heard about
Jesus. It's not fair to exclude him!

AMY -- But that's not the case with you. Your records (pats
boxes) clearly show that you knew about Jesus, but didn't trust
Him to get you into Heaven.

LIZ -- Those are MY records?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- All of them?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- That's a lot of records.

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- There must be SOME way I can get into Heaven.

AMY -- There is. Trusting Jesus is plan B.

LIZ -- So, if there's a plan B, there must be a plan A?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- Well? What is it?

AMY -- Plan A says that if you didn't violate ANY of God's moral
laws, you are entitled to go directly to Heaven when you die.

LIZ -- But since I didn't go directly to Heaven, I must have
done something wrong.

AMY -- That's what the records show. (pats boxes)

LIZ -- Are you telling me that somebody wrote down ALL of my...
my moral lapses?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- Well, that's not fair!

AMY -- What's not fair about it?

LIZ -- Well, I don't even KNOW all of the ten commandments. How
can I be expected to obey them?!

AMY -- So, you're pleading ignorance?

LIZ -- If that will get me into Heaven, yes.

AMY -- Then, we'll proceed to plan C.

LIZ -- What's plan C?

AMY -- We'll judge YOU by the same standards that you have used
to judge others.

LIZ -- That sounds promising. How does that work?

AMY -- Are you sure you really want to do this?

LIZ -- Sure. Why not?

AMY -- Because it might me better for you if you spend eternity
thinking you got a raw deal, than to spend eternity knowing that
you absolutely deserve to spend eternity excluded from Heaven.

LIZ -- I like plan C. (points to boxes) Let's see what's in the

AMY -- You're sure.

LIZ -- Plan C. (nods assertively)

AMY -- (opens top box, pulls out file folder, opens it, reads)
And I quote: (imitates) Look at the size of that woman! No way
she could be that fat if she had a little self-control!

LIZ -- Oh, I remember that incident. You should have seen her.
She weighed a ton!

AMY -- Shall I show you the number of times YOU ate more than
you should? (pulls file folder) There's twenty-nine incidents at
the buffet line at Sizzler, fourteen incidents at the Chinese

LIZ -- Well, that was just food.

AMY -- (pulls three more file folders out of box) Then, let's
look at some other judgements you made. (reads) And I quote:
(imitates) Those guys running that company are overcharging us
customers because they're just plain greedy.

LIZ -- Well, it's true! What do they need more money for? They
already own a house on five different continents!

AMY -- And how many times did the cashier give you too much
change, but you failed to give it back?

LIZ -- Never.

AMY -- (leafs) I have three incidents at the grocery store, two
incidents at the drug store, one incident at the...

LIZ -- Well, it was just loose change! The store wouldn't miss

AMY -- Let's go on to the next judgement: and I quote "Did you
hear the mouth on that woman?! She ought to be ashamed of
herself for talking to her little girl like that! (reaches for
file folders)

LIZ -- What's wrong with that?

AMY -- Would you like me to read some of the words YOU spoke in
anger? (pulls a fist full of file folders from box) We have
(points) character assassinations, (points) epithets, (points)
the questioning of someone's illegitimate birth. Which would you
like me to read first.

LIZ -- Alright! You've made your point!

AMY -- Just so we're clear. Are you admitting that you don't
qualify for plan C either?

LIZ -- Are you kidding?! Nobody lives up to their own standards!

AMY -- So, if you don't measure up to God's standards in plan A
and you don't measure up to your own standards in plan C, where
does that leave you?

LIZ -- My only recourse was plan B.

AMY -- Plan B: trusting in Jesus to save you?

LIZ -- I knew it was the right thing to do, but I never wanted
to admit I needed help. (sighs, backs away) You were right.

AMY -- About what?

LIZ -- I would have been better off thinking I got a raw deal.
(exiting) Now I have to spend eternity knowing I deserve to be
excluded from Heaven.

AMY -- (turns, exits) That's what they all say.

(boxes may be left behind for use during the sermon)

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