BACK SIMPLE 5'2m?f Christian priorities, family: keep it simple MEX -- (Mexican enters wearing work clothes, straw hat, carrying fishing rod, tackle box, crosses) TEX -- (tourist, follows carrying yellow legal pad and one typewritten page, shouts) Excuse me, sir... senior'. MEX -- (stops, turn) Si? TEX -- Do you habla Ingles'? MEX -- Si, I speak English. TEX -- Oh, good. (speaks slowly and carefully) I want to talk to you about fishing. MEX -- Fishing? TEX -- Yes. I... MEX -- ...You need to talk to the sport fishing people in the harbor. (nods toward audience) TEX -- Sport fishing. MEX -- Si. TEX -- Oh, no! I don't want to go fishing! I want to talk to you about your fishing business. MEX -- My fishing business? TEX -- Yes. Si. I have been watching you since I arrived here in Mexico three days ago.... MEX -- (backs away) I have nothing to do with the drug runners, senior'. TEX -- Oh, no. I'm not from the D.E.A. I'm a business consultant. (pulls business card from pocket shows it to Mex) See? I'm a Harvard M.B.A.. I make businesses more EFFICIENT. EFFICIENT. (to self) What's the Spanish word for efficient? MEX -- You are not from the "federales'"? TEX -- No. Oh, no. MEX -- What do you want from me? TEX -- Like I said, while I've been lying on the beach, I have been watching how you work. MEX -- If my boat is in your way, I could move it farther down the beach, senior'? TEX -- No! No! Actually, I was admiring your work, how you catch such big fish and so many of them! MEX -- Oh. I see. Thank you. (turns to exit) TEX -- (reaches) What I want to say... MEX -- (turns) Yes? TEX -- (holds up yellow legal pad) I've been taking notes. MEX -- I'm not breaking any law, am I? TEX -- No. No. The notes I've been taking are regarding the efficiency and productivity of your fishing operation. MEX -- (shrugs) TEX -- For instance, (reads) I've noticed that you and those two boys spend between a half hour and forty-five minutes each day digging worms in your garden. MEX -- Those are my sons. They are good boys. TEX -- Yes. Then, (reads) I've noticed that you and your... sons get into your boat and spend at least an hour rowing the boat in order to get out to the place where you do the fishing. MEX -- Yes. TEX -- Then you fish only for two or three hours in the morning and take the afternoon off. MEX -- (restless) Yes. We come home for lunch and siesta... How you say... we take a nap. TEX -- Let me get to the bottom line. MEX -- The bottom line? TEX -- The reason I'm talking to you. I've spent some of my vacation time writing a business plan for you. (offers typewritten page) MEX -- A business plan? TEX -- Yes, to expand your business. MEX -- Expand my business? TEX -- Yes. MEX -- Why would I want to do that? TEX -- Well, look here, for instance. (reads) If you bought your bait from a bate shop instead of spending two and a quarter man-hours digging worms, you and your boys could spend 20% more time fishing. MEX -- But digging the worms also cultivates the garden. TEX -- Well, with the extra income you make from fishing instead of digging worms, you could hire someone to cultivate your garden. MEX -- Why would I want to do that? TEX -- Look, your bread and butter is fishing. I've noticed that you catch more fish and larger fish than anyone else in the village. MEX -- Yes, I do. TEX -- So, your business plan should include ways to put you in fishing mode. MEX -- Fishing mode. TEX -- Yes, my business plan for you includes buying a larger boat and an outboard motor to get you out to your fishing grounds faster, so you spend more time fishing and catch more fish. MEX -- But I have no money to buy a motor boat. TEX -- (points to page) That's why you need a business plan. All you have to do is take this business plan to the bank and they will LOAN you the money! MEX -- You want me to BORROW money? TEX -- Yes, the increase in productivity from a motor boat will allow you to catch more fish, so you can pay off the loan. But here's the best part about this business plan. If you extend your fishing from a half day to all-day, you could buy three new boats, one for each of you. And as you can see from these figures, with the added income from three motor boats, you could expand again within a few months and buy a whole fleet of motor boats. Your ultimate goal, of course, is to franchise the operation. MEX -- Franchise? TEX -- Yes, that means people will pay you to teach them how to get rich in the fishing business. You'll be rolling in the dough. MEX -- Rolling in the dough. TEX -- That means you'll have more money than you know what to do with. MEX -- Why do I need so much money? TEX -- So you can kick back and take it easy, spend time with your wife and kids, take naps in the afternoon, work in your garden.... MEX -- ...But I already do those things, senior'. (exits) TEX -- You're right. (crumples paper) Nevermind. (exiting opposite) Boy! Expansion really looked good on paper! ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |