BACK RELATIVE 7'?m2f Relativism: there are no objective morals AMY -- (enters running, carrying stapled essay, stops at C, looks back, continues crossing with faked casual walk, stops near far exit) LIZ -- (follows a few seconds later, carrying stapled essay) Don't tell me the office is closed today! AMY -- (looks at watch) Ah, no. According to the sign on the door (points) the office opens in five minutes. LIZ -- Oh. (pauses, points to Amy's essay) I see you're entering the writing contest too, huh? AMY -- Yes. I wanted to be the first one to turn mine in. You know, the reason I'm entering the writing contest is because I heard YOU talking about it. LIZ -- Oh, really?! AMY -- Yes. LIZ -- I don't know you, do I? AMY -- No. We've never met. I just happened to hear you talking about your essay with your friends at the coffee shop. The topic of your essay really fascinated me. LIZ -- Oh, really?! You're interested in relativism? AMY -- Yes. First of all I like the name, (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) RELATIVISM! Its sounds really intellectual! LIZ -- Well, as a matter of fact all the top thinkers in academia are embracing relativism as a world view. AMY -- So you said. I even like the intellectual sounding words you used to describe the concept of relativism. (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) "There is no such thing as objective moral values." What exactly does that mean? LIZ -- Well, the notion is that, since God is merely an invention of man's imagination, everything that man gets from this imaginary God is also imaginary. And since we get the prudish Christian moral values from this imaginary God, we can assume that Christian morals are themselves imaginary. AMY -- So, in your view morals are imaginary. LIZ -- Christian morals are imaginary. So, that means that any morals we claim to live by are merely inventions of man's own mind. AMY -- So, you don't think there are ANY morals that apply to everybody. LIZ -- Absolutely not. The foundation of moral relativism is that every person is now free to choose his own moral values for himself. AMY -- Don't you think that could be a little dangerous? LIZ -- How could it be dangerous? AMY -- Do you know what kind of person most thoroughly lives out the morals of relativism? LIZ -- I'm not sure I understand the question. AMY -- What do we call a person who unswervingly rejects the morals of society? LIZ -- I don't know. AMY -- We call him a sociopath. LIZ -- I don't think that necessarily follows. AMY -- You're not a sociopath, are you? LIZ -- Of course not! AMY -- But, I don't think you can live by your own relativism. LIZ -- Of course I can! AMY -- We'll see. LIZ -- What do you mean, we'll see. AMY -- We'll see how you feel about relativism after I turn my essay into the office. (points) LIZ -- Why? What is your essay about? AMY -- Here. (offers essay) Read it yourself. LIZ -- (pages through) Wait a minute! This is MY essay. AMY -- Yes. LIZ -- Word-for-word! AMY -- Yes. You act as if there's something wrong with that. LIZ -- You're not actually going to turn this in! AMY -- Sure. Why not? LIZ -- That's plagiarism! AMY -- No, actually, I'm going to turn MY essay in first. If you turn yours in after me, YOU will be the one accused of plagiarism. LIZ -- You can't do that! AMY -- I don't see why not. LIZ -- Well, for starters, it's wrong. AMY -- Well, according to your essay -- MY assay -- when each person develops his own moral values, what's wrong for you may not necessarily be wrong for me. LIZ -- This is ridiculous! You can't just STEAL my essay! AMY -- So, are you saying that there is ONE exception to relativism? LIZ -- Yes. No. Yes. AMY -- Well, which is it? If relativism is right, there is no moral rule against my stealing your essay. If relativism is wrong, your essay is worthless. What relativism SHOULD say is (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) "There is no such thing as objective moral values, except that it's wrong to steal." LIZ -- That's not what relativism is. AMY -- But you think I would be wrong in (takes essay) entering this essay as my own. (holds essay out of reach) LIZ -- Yes. (reaches for essay) AMY -- Let me think about this from a relative perspective. As I see it, the only REAL problem here is that if I enter this essay into the contest and claim that it's mine, you'll complain about it. LIZ -- Yes, I will. AMY -- Then, I have a relative solution. LIZ -- What's that? AMY -- I'll kill you so you won't complain. LIZ -- (backs away) You'll what?! AMY -- Oh, now I suppose that you think that there are TWO exceptions to the rule of relativism. (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) "There is no such thing as objective moral values, except that it's wrong to steal and it's wrong to murder." Maybe I'll just injure you so that you'll be hospitalized until the contest has been decided. LIZ -- You can't be serious! AMY -- Oh, now I suppose that you think that there are THREE exceptions to the rule of relativism. (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) "There is no such thing as objective moral values, except that it's wrong to steal and it's wrong to murder, and it's wrong to injure you." LIZ -- I think you're mentally ill! AMY -- Not at all. All I'm trying to do is to think as a dedicated relativist. How about if I threaten you. No. I think it would be more effective if I threaten you're family. If I threaten you, you'll probably leave town and people will think something is amiss. Yes. That's it. If you report my plagiarism to the authorities I'll have your family's house burned down. You wouldn't want that, would you? LIZ -- You are sick! You are really sick. AMY -- Oh, now I suppose that you think that there are FOUR exceptions to the rule of relativism. (strokes hand across the sky as if visualizing sky writing) "There is no such thing as objective moral values, except that it's wrong to steal and it's wrong to murder, and it's wrong to injure you and it's wrong to threaten you." This idea of relativism is full of holes. (turns exits) No way I'm going to plagiarize such a lame essay. LIZ -- Wait a minute. AMY -- (stops, turns) Yeah? LIZ -- Are you for real? AMY -- For real? LIZ -- Were you REALLY going to plagiarize my essay? AMY -- No. I would never do that. I'm a Christian. We Christians know that certain things are wrong for everybody, even for relativists. (exits) LIZ -- (pauses, examines essay) She's right. (shrugs shoulders, exits) But it sounded so good when the academic elites talked about it. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |