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RAPTURE  9'1m1f End times rapture: people just disappear

SUE -- (enters wearing camouflage army uniform, carrying
baseball bat, looks around, finally, bored, leans on bat,
snoozes)

BOB -- (enters opposite cautiously, dressed in business suit,
taps Sue's shoulder) Are you alive?

SUE -- Huh? (awakens panicked, wheels around with bat in attack
mode) Back off!

BOB -- (retreats) Please don't hurt me.

SUE -- (fierce look of determination, looking for accomplices)
Don't give me that helpless act, buddy. Where are your
accomplices?

BOB -- Accomplices? I... I don't have any accomplices. Please
don't hurt me.

SUE -- Don't hand me that. You're here to steal my stuff, aren't
you?

BOB -- Listen, I assure you, I have no accomplices. I... I'm
all alone. Just what stuff do you think I'm trying to steal?

SUE -- My survival gear. Oh, I get it. You're doing REcon for
them, aren't you? You're trying to find out how much stuff I've
got and where I stashed it, so as they can kill me and take my
stuff.

BOB -- Listen, I beg you. Please don't hurt me. I... I'm all
alone. I just wanted to find out why everybody is dead. I
thought maybe you were dead too.

SUE -- Nice try, buddy. You play a very convincing innocent
bystander. You even dressed up in a business suit, so as I'd
think you was not one of them. But it won't work. Maybe I ought
bash your brains in just to be on the safe side. (raises bat)

BOB -- No, please. I'm telling the truth. Let me explain.
Please.

SUE -- Alright, buddy, you've got one minute. Then I'll squash
your head like a melon.

BOB -- Alright. Alright. I'll make this just as succinct as I
can. I'm the branch manager of the bank over there. (point over
shoulder) And someone accidentally locked me in the vault on
Friday afternoon. Almost immediately the ground shook and the
lights went out. The vault is on a time lock, so I've been in
there all weekend. When the timer unlocked the door, I came out
to find that everybody remaining in the bank was dead. Do you
know what happened to them?

SUE -- Yeah, the nukes got 'em. You know, you're really good.
You're very convincing.

BOB -- I'm telling the truth. Why would I lie?

SUE -- To get my stuff.

BOB -- I don't need any of your stuff. I've got my own stuff. I
was just over at my house and everything is intact. But tell me.
How could nuclear bombs have killed everybody without destroying
everything?

SUE -- Neutron bombs, man. What's the matter with you? You just
fall off the turnip truck?

BOB -- Well, I've heard of neutron bombs, but I guess I didn't
think the Russian's had any.

SUE -- They had them and they used them.

BOB -- Tell me, can neutron bombs make people disappear?

SUE -- What do you know about about the disappearances?

BOB -- My wife seems to have mysteriously disappeared. And so
did several other people who work in the bank building. Did
someone you know disappear too?

SUE -- Yeah, my husband.

BOB -- Maybe the bombs vaporized some of them.

SUE -- You don't get out much, do you, buddy? Neutron bombs
don't vaporize nothing. They just kill people.

BOB -- I assume the ground shaking and lights going out on
Friday were from the bombs?

SUE -- Yup. Happened right at five o'clock on Friday.

BOB -- Right at closing time. That's what I don't understand.
There was no time for them to leave. Even though we had just
closed the bank, all the tellers still had their balancing and
paperwork to do. But some of them are missing. They left their
purses and briefcases behind, but they were nowhere in the bank.
And the doors were still locked.

SUE -- Any of them go to the community church?

BOB -- What do you mean? What does that have to do with
anything?

SUE -- My husband went to the community church. I think maybe
they seen this here missle attack coming and hid somewhere.

BOB -- Come to think of it, yes, all of the missing people
belonged to the community church. My wife and I belonged to the
community church too. (turns to exit) I think I'll just head
over there, maybe...

SUE -- I'll save you a trip.

BOB -- (turns back) Huh?

SUE -- I been there. Empty. Not a soul in sight. Everybody,
pastors, secretaries, volunteers, everybody. Poof. Gone.

BOB -- Oh, no. It happened.

SUE -- What? What happened?

BOB -- (stomps foot) Oh, Man! (paces) It happened! It really
happened! Now what am I going to do?

SUE -- What are you talking about?

BOB -- The rapture. It happened just like she said.

SUE -- Who said? What are you talking about?

BOB -- Oh, man, I can't believe it! Boy, did she get the last
laugh.

SUE -- Fellow, are you going to tell me what you're talking
about? Or am I going to have to put your lights out?

BOB -- The rapture. My wife was just reading it to me last week.
She said, "It could happen at any time." But I laughed at her. I
said, how could a billion Christians just disappear all at once
and nobody would miss them? (holds out hands) THIS is how it
could happen.

SUE -- I think them nukes fried your brains. Maybe I'd better
put you out of your misery.

BOB -- Didn't your husband tell you about the rapture?

SUE -- I wouldn't let him talk about that God stuff around the
house.

BOB -- Now, I wish I didn't know about it. I could be in Heaven
right now.

SUE -- Heaven?! You mean you think my husband is in Heaven right
now?

BOB -- That's what I'm saying.

SUE -- No way. He's hid somewhere, I know it.

BOB -- (paces) Oh, man! Now what am I going to do?! I'm
defenseless.

SUE -- Defenseless? Against who? They're all dead.

BOB -- Only a faction of the earth's population die in the first
wave. If you can believe the Bible, the next three and a half
years are going to be pure hell on earth.

SUE -- I don't know how to tell you this, but things don't look
all that good right now.

BOB -- I'm afraid we've just seen the tip of the iceberg. The
next three and a half years are called the tribulation. More
people are going to die. I just hope I'm not among them.

SUE -- I thought you said you went to that church. How come you
didn't go with them?

BOB -- Apparently, to qualify for the rapture, you have to do
more than just go to church. I thought I was a Christian. I
mean, I believed that Jesus died on the cross and rose again.

SUE -- Then, how come you didn't go with them?

BOB -- Because, like a fool I put off declaring Jesus to be the
Lord of MY life. You have to believe AND receive. (stomps) How
could I have been so stupid?! (paces) My only hope now is to be
part of the 144,000.

SUE -- 144,000 what?

BOB -- Jews.

SUE -- Jews?

BOB -- Yes, (paces) during the tribulation 144,000 Jews who
missed the rapture will apparently believe and receive and then
be safeguarded by the Holy Spirit. It's the only way I'm going
to make it through the tribulation without getting myself
killed.

SUE -- I thought you said you went to the community church.

BOB -- I do. I did.

SUE -- Then, how can you be a Jew?

BOB -- I'm not. Well, I'm not sure. Well, I mean, I could be.

SUE -- Make up your mind, buddy.

BOB -- See, if one of my ancestors married a Jew, maybe I can
qualify. My problem now is finding a way to get across the
Atlantic Ocean and over to Israel. You wouldn't happen to know
any survivalists with a boat would you?

SUE -- Nope. Can't say that I do.

BOB -- Well, I'll worry about that when I get to the east coast.
I'd better get home and get packed. (turns to exit)

SUE -- Wait. I'll go with you.

BOB -- (turns) What about your bomb shelter and your STUFF?

SUE -- I ain't had a husband in over two days. And even you are
better than nothing.

BOB -- Oh, look, a man! (points beyond Sue, exits quickly)

SUE -- (turns) Where? Ain't no man there. (turns back) Hey,
where'd he go. (follows) Hey, good looking, wait for me!


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