PUREMAN  3'2m0f Discipleship, ministry, purity, accountability

ED ---- (enters, strolls across stage)

FRED -- (follows) Hey, Ed.

ED ---- (turns) Oh, hi, Fred.

FRED -- Say, I'm glad I caught you. A few of us are going down 
to the "Bump and Grind Bar and Grill" after work for a libation 
and a few tassel twirling lessons. You want to come along?

ED ---- Boy, I'd love to Fred, but I have to decline. Thanks 
anyway. (turns)

FRED -- Come on, Ed, the girls down there are really gorgeous.

ED ---- (turns back) Ah, no, I really can't.

FRED -- What's the matter, Ed? Are you gay?

ED ---- No, Fred, I enjoy drinking and nudity as much as the 
next guy. It's just that I have a meeting on Tuesday morning.

FRED -- Tuesday morning?! Ed, It's Friday night! You don't think 
you'll sober up by Tuesday?

ED ---- It's not that. It's just that every Tuesday morning, I 
meet with a guy who will ask me some very personal questions. 
He'll come right out and ask me if I've drunk any alcohol or 
indulged in any pornography or nudity during the week.

FRED -- What gives him the right to ask you such personal 

ED ---- "I" give him the right to ask me such personal 

FRED -- You lost me.

ED ---- When I became I Christian, I realized two things: 1. 
That I really enjoy drinking and nudity. and 2. That drinking 
and nudity actually keep me from doing what God has uniquely 
created me to do with my life. So, I partnered up with a guy who 
has the same goals as I do and we meet for breakfast every 
Tuesday morning and we ask each other the really tough 

FRED -- Hey, those girls down and the "Bump and Grind" are 
really gorgeous, Ed. You could lie to this guy, couldn't you?

ED ---- Oh, sure, I could lie. I could also cancel the breakfast 
meetings. But that would be going against my life goals.

FRED -- I don't get it. A normal healthy American male is going 
to pass up good booze and gorgeous bodies? Are you sure you're 
not gay?

ED ---- (laughs) No, I'm certainly not gay. But I am determined. 
I have unique talents to do my ministry. I can make a difference 
in the world. Booze and women make me less effective in my 
ministry. I have to choose between them. I can't have both. It's 
as simple as that.

FRED -- You Christians have no idea what you're missing.

ED ---- Actually, we Christians know exactly what we're missing. 
But we have the power to CHOOSE to miss it. Do you have the 
power to choose NOT to go?

FRED -- Well, sure, I could give it up any time.

ED ---- Then, don't go tonight.

FRED -- What?

ED ---- I said, don't go tonight. You and your friends have been 
going to the "Bump and Grind" every Friday night for weeks. If 
you can give it up any time, give it up for just one night.

FRED -- No!

ED ---- Why not? You've already tasted the whiskey. You've 
already seen the naked flesh. Why not demonstrate that you can 
give it up any time?

FRED -- Because... Just because, I'm going. If you don't want to 
go, don't go. Don't force your morality on me.

ED ---- I'm not forcing my morality on you. I'm merely trying to 
show you that booze and women have a grip on your life the same 
as they have on mine. The only reason I really have a choice now 
is because of the power of the Holy Spirit and my accountability 
to my partner on Tuesday morning.

FRED -- (backs away) Yeah, well, that's all real interesting. 
But that religion stuff is not for me. I... I'll see you Monday. 
(turns exits)

ED ---- (backing away) Think about it, Fred. Do you really have 
a choice? (exits)

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