MOVEMENT 6'?m2f Movements of the spirit a shortcut to maturity?

(scene: two chairs facing each other)

AMY -- (enters backward carrying pad and pencil, points at 
chair) Come in, please. Have a seat.

LIZ -- (enters carrying Bible) What is this? ANOTHER interview? 

AMY -- (sits) Yes, we're sorry to put you through so many 
interviews, but we think the position of youth leader is very 
important to our church. If we hire you, you will be more than 
just a leader. You will be an example for the students to 

LIZ -- I understand. What would you like to know about me?

AMY -- These questions may seem mundane compared to the 
questions you've already answered about your theology and your 
leadership skills, but they are just as important to us.

LIZ -- Well, fire away.

AMY -- How many Bible verses have you memorized?

LIZ -- None.

AMY -- None?

LIZ -- Well, I'm pretty sure about John 3:16. But I wouldn't bet 
money on it.

AMY -- So, you haven't set out to memorize a single Bible verse?

LIZ -- No. There's no need for that. I mean, I carry my Bible 
everywhere. There's an index and concordance in it. I know where 
to look if someone asks a Bible question.

AMY -- (writes on pad) I see. Okay, and how many chapters of the 
Bible do you read every day?

LIZ -- None.

AMY -- You don't read the Bible at all?

LIZ -- No.

AMY -- Not even occasionally?

LIZ -- No. There's no need for that.

AMY -- (writes) No need for Bible reading.

LIZ -- No.

AMY -- (writes) Because you carry it with you all the time.

LIZ -- That's right.

AMY -- Uh huh. And how much time do you spend each day alone in 

LIZ -- Oh, I never pray alone.

AMY -- (writes) Never prays alone.

LIZ -- No. There's no need for any of that.

AMY -- That's the third time you've said that. But I...

LIZ -- You see, I've discovered a shortcut to spiritual maturity.

AMY -- There's a shortcut to spiritual maturity?

LIZ -- Absolutely! It's call the Alpine Blessing.

AMY -- The Alpine Blessing. I'm not familiar with the Alpine 

LIZ -- It's also known as yodeling in the spirit.

AMY -- I see, well...

LIZ -- It's going to be the next great revival.

AMY -- I doubt it. Listen, I think we've put you through enough 
interviews for one day...

LIZ -- You don't believe in movements of the spirit, do you?

AMY -- I definitely believe in the gifts of the spirit. Our 
church members have just about every spiritual gift you could 
imagine. But...

LIZ -- The Alpine Blessing takes spiritual gifts to a whole new 

AMY -- I'll just bet it does.

LIZ -- I see skepticism. And skepticism quenches the spirit's 
fire. The Bible says you shouldn't quench the spirit's fire.

AMY -- How would you know?

LIZ -- Excuse me?

AMY -- If you don't read or memorize your Bible, how would you 
know what the Bible says about quenching the spirit's fire?

LIZ -- I heard him say it at the Alpine Blessing revival. He 
read it right out of the Bible.

AMY -- But you didn't look up the passage yourself and see if he 
was quoting it out of context?

LIZ -- Actually, no I didn't. I was too busy yodeling.

AMY -- Do it now.

LIZ -- You want me to yodel?

AMY -- No. Look up the verse. See if he was quoting that verse 
out of context. See if that verse was talking about movements of 
the spirit.

LIZ -- I don't remember the book he was quoting from.

AMY -- I do. 

LIZ -- You do. You were there?

AMY -- No. I'm one of those old fashioned people who thinks 
spiritual maturity comes from old fashioned hard work and 
diligence. I memorized several verses from First Thessalonians.

LIZ -- Oh.

AMY -- Oddly enough, the verse before your verse on quenching 
the Holy Spirit's fire says. "Pray continually."

LIZ -- Pray continually?!

AMY -- That's what it says.

LIZ -- That would mean like pray every day, huh?

AMY -- Even if you're alone.

LIZ -- Oh.

AMY -- Go ahead, read the rest of it. (points to Liz's Bible)

LIZ -- Right now? Here?

AMY -- Sure, why not? First Thessalonians five seventeen.

LIZ -- (opens Bible, fumbles) First... First...

AMY -- Thessalonians.

LIZ -- (looks up index, then pages to New Testament) Here it is 
First Thessalonians. Here it is "Pray continually. Give thanks 
in all circumstances. For this is God's will for you in Christ 
Jesus." Here's the verse I was talking about. Verse nineteen: 
"Do not put out the Spirit's fire;"

AMY -- That's only the first half of the sentence. Read the 
second half of the sentence.

LIZ -- Verse 20 "do not treat prophecies with contempt." Oh. 
He's not talking about yodeling. He's talking about prophesying.

AMY -- Just for good measure, read the next verse too.

LIZ -- Verse 21. "Test everything." Oh.

AMY -- Did anybody test yodeling in the spirit to see if it was 
from God?

LIZ -- How could it NOT be from God?! I felt such a sense of 
refreshment and peace when it was all over!

AMY -- You can get a similar feeling from using drugs, even 
illegal drugs. Would you say that using drugs is a religious 

LIZ -- Well, no. But yodeling in the spirit gave me such a sense 
of renewal, such a zeal for God!

AMY -- Long distance runners often have the same feeling after a 
10K race. Is it possible that what you were feeling was an 
adrenalin high?

LIZ -- I suppose so. But how would I know?

AMY -- Discernment.

LIZ -- Discernment?

AMY -- It comes from years of daily Bible study and prayer, what 
we old fashioned people call Christian maturity.

LIZ -- Oh. Well, what could YOU discern that I couldn't?

AMY -- That meeting, where you yodeled in the spirit, was it 
peaceful and orderly?

LIZ -- Are you kidding?! You could hardly hear yourself think! 
Everybody was yodeling at once.

AMY -- Were they all yodeling the same tune?

LIZ -- Of course not!

AMY -- Apostle Paul says that Christian meetings are to be 

LIZ -- Oh.

AMY -- One of the fruits of the spirit is peace.

LIZ -- Oh. Well, it was peaceful when it was all over.

AMY -- So, do you think that Alpine Blessing was really a 

LIZ -- (sigh) No. I guess not. But it sure seemed to be an 
easier route to spiritual maturity than years of prayer and 
Bible study. (snaps fingers) Oh, oh. (stands quickly) I got to 
go. I have to get to the store before it closes.

AMY -- What store?

LIZ -- I have to cancel my order for a lederhosen. (exits)

AMY -- (follows) A lederhosen?!

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