BACK MISSIONS 4'?m2f Missions ministry promo KATHY -- (enters, crosses briskly until she sees Karla, puts head down, covers face with hand, stops) Oh, oh. (trying to look casual, turns to exit) KARLA -- (enters opposite with clip board) Kathy! You're just the person I wanted to see. KATHY -- (deep breath, turns, fakes a smile) Karla. I didn't expect to see you here. (aside) In fact, that's why I came this way. KARLA -- You knew I was the chairman of the missions ministry here at the church, didn't you? KATHY -- (feigns surprise) Really? Well, congratulations! (looks at watch) Oh, look at the time. (points over shoulder) I really have to be somewhere. (aside) Anywhere but here. KARLA -- This will only take a minute. KATHY -- That's what I like. (aside) A quick and painless death. KARLA -- I have a couple of mission projects to talk to you about. And I know that one of them would be perfect for you. KATHY -- For me? Oh, aren't you thoughtful? KARLA -- (points at clip board) First, there's the project in Costa Rica. KATHY -- Costa Rica? Well, that sounds exotic. But isn't that right near the equator? Isn't it likely to be a bit hot there? KARLA -- Yes, but the mission sight is right on the Pacific Ocean. Jack Flaherty, who just came back from there, says the ocean breeze cools the air to ninety degrees at night. KATHY -- Only ninety. KARLA -- And being right on the ocean, the missionaries can swim any time they like... although, you do have to be careful. KATHY -- Careful? What do you mean, careful? KARLA -- Jack says he was zapped by sting ray and was completely incapacitated for a whole day. KATHY -- It's not exactly Club Med, is it? And what about all those jungle creatures creeping and crawling around? KARLA -- Oh, that's not much of a problem at this mission sight. Jack says the only creatures he had to fend off were cockroaches the size of a mouse. KATHY -- (shivers with revulsion) Oh, you make it sound so inviting, Karla. Do you have any projects without cockroaches? KARLA -- (points at clip board) Yes, in Papua, New Guinea, the natives build their houses in the trees a hundred feet above creepy crawly creatures on the forest floor. KATHY -- That would make house-to-house visits a bit of an athletic event, wouldn't it? KARLA -- Yes, but the people in Papua New Guinea are very friendly. You never go into someone's house there without being offered the local cuisine. KATHY -- Just exactly what is the local cuisine? KARLA -- Insect larvae. KATHY -- Insect larvae?! You mean grub worms?! KARLA -- I'm told they're quite tasty. KATHY -- (shivers with revulsion) Well, that would sure entice me to sign up. I'd want to do house-to-house visits every night. KARLA -- Actually, they don't do the house visits at night. KATHY -- Oh? Why not? KARLA -- The poisonous snakes are nocturnal in New Guinea. One bite and you'd be dead in 2 minutes. KATHY -- What a sales job! I'm sold! Do you get a lot of people signing up to go to these disgusting places? KARLA -- As a matter of fact, people are standing in line waiting to go. KATHY -- You're kidding, right? KARLA -- No. Our waiting list is full. KATHY -- So, why are you trying to sell ME on going? KARLA -- Oh, I'm not trying sell you on GOING. I wanted to ask you help someone else go. KATHY -- Karla, let me put this to you just as clearly as I can. I am not interested in even HELPing anyone else if HELPing involves being within screaming distance of a cockroach or a poisonous snake. KARLA -- (laughs) You don't have to go anywhere. You're most important help will be your prayers. KATHY -- Prayers... Oh! You mean prayers! KARLA -- Yes, that's why I thought you'd be perfect for this project. I know that you have a quiet time with the Lord every morning and these missionaries will need your prayers every day. KATHY -- Well, I can do that... Do I have to mention the word COCKROACH in my prayers? KARLA -- (laughs) No. As a matter of fact, for many of our missionaries, cockroaches are the least of their problems. KATHY -- Says you. KARLA -- No really. Many of our missionaries face possible arrest and imprisonment merely for talking about Jesus. KATHY -- Then, you're talking about real prayer warfare. KARLA -- It's not for the timid at heart. That's why I thought of you. You're a faithful prayer warrior. KATHY -- You can count on me. I'll pray for them every day. Who do you want me to pray for? KARLA -- (hands her a packet with picture) Frank and Martha Marshall. KATHY -- Well, they can count on me for support. KARLA -- Your prayer support isn't the only support they need. KATHY -- Oh? KARLA -- No. They're both quitting full time jobs here in order to spread the gospel of Christ overseas. And where they're going, foreigners are not allowed to compete with the locals for jobs. So, they won't have any income, except what we send them. KATHY -- That's no problem. (pulls out checkbook, begins writing) I can send them some money every month... (looks up from writing) As long as I don't have to deliver it personally. KARLA -- I knew you were the right person for this project. KATHY -- (back to writing) You know why I'm doing this, don't you? KARLA -- Why? KATHY -- I'm buying your silence. KARLA -- What do you mean? KATHY -- I mean if I write you a check every month, (tears off check) you have to promise that I won't hear another word about cockroaches. KARLA -- No cockroaches. (exiting) KATHY -- No sting rays. (exiting) KARLA -- No sting rays. KATHY -- No grub worms. KARLA -- No grub worms. KATHY -- No poisonous snakes. KARLA -- No poisonous snakes. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |