BACK MATERIAL 6'?m3f Physicalism, atheism, argumentation, proof (scene: judge's bench or podium) JUDGE -- (enters wearing black robe, crosses to bench, pounds gavel) This court will come to order. Our next order of business is the preliminary motions for the case of the state versus Mary Johnson. Are the attorneys for both parties present? LIZ -- (enters carrying briefcase and file folders, crosses speaking) Elizabeth Benson for the prosecution, Your Honor. The charge is fraud and embezzlement, Your Honor. (opens file folder, drops on bench, steps back) AMY -- (enters opposite carrying briefcase and file folders, crosses speaking) Amy Konklin for the defense, Your Honor. And here's my motion to exclude the laptop computer as evidence. (drops blue-backed sheets on bench, steps back) LIZ -- On what grounds? AMY -- On two grounds. First, the laptop computer was the property of my client's employer. Second, the search warrant did not even mention a computer. LIZ -- I object, Your Honor. JUDGE -- On what grounds? LIZ -- Our case relies on this computer to prove motive. JUDGE -- Counselor, do you have a reply to this objection? AMY -- Yes, your honor. I believe that MOTIVE should be excluded from this trial altogether. LIZ -- You what?! JUDGE -- The prosecuting attorney will not address defense counsel directly. LIZ -- I'm sorry, Your Honor. But you can't exclude MOTIVE for the state's case! That's ridiculous! JUDGE -- The prosecutor does have a point, there, counselor. On what basis do you wish to exclude motive? AMY -- On the basis that MOTIVE is non-material. It has no mass, it has no dimensions, it can't be weighed, it can't be measured. And since all evidence must be accessed by science, MOTIVE must be excluded from this trial. JUDGE -- Counselor? LIZ -- That's ridiculous! Motive has been included in nearly all prosecutions for centuries. It seems to me that excluding it now would be unfair. JUDGE -- I agree. Motive evidence will be allowed in this trial. But, the laptop computer will be excluded because it was omitted from the warrant and because it did not belong to the accused. Any other motions? AMY -- (drops another blue-backed page on bench) Yes, Your Honor, here's my motion to exclude all references to the guilt of my client. LIZ -- You what?! JUDGE -- (pounds gavel) The prosecuting attorney will not address defense counsel directly. You need to control yourself, counselor! LIZ -- I'm sorry, Your Honor. What I mean is, "I object". I've prosecuted many cases, but I've never ever been asked to refrain from using the word GUILT. This line of defense is just outrageous! JUDGE -- The prosecutor does have a point, there, counselor. On what basis do you wish to exclude all discussion of GUILT? AMY -- On the basis that GUILT is non-material. It has no mass, it has no dimensions, it can't be weighed, it can't be measured. A guilty man is no heavier than an innocent man. A guilty man is no taller or shorter than an innocent man. A guilty man is no more dense, he gives off no more radiation, he's no more magnetic than an innocent man. And, since all evidence must be accessed by science, GUILT must be excluded from this trial. JUDGE -- Your rebuttal, counselor? LIZ -- (sighs) Alright, I give up. JUDGE -- You what?! LIZ -- Oh, I'm not talking about this trial, Your Honor. JUDGE -- Then, what are you talking about, counselor? LIZ -- Amy and I, that is, defense counsel and I had a religious discussion out in the corridor before this hearing. The discussion had nothing to do with this case. When I said I GIVE UP, I meant that I concede her point. AMY -- In that case, Your Honor, I withdraw my other motions to exclude evidence for non-material conclusions. And, since these (holds up three more blue-backed pages) motions are all for exclusion of non-material conclusions, I have no more business before this court and I'm ready to go to trial. JUDGE -- I'm dying to know what this outside discussion is all about. LIZ -- It's a little embarrassing, Your Honor. JUDGE -- Humor me. LIZ -- Our discussion was about religion. JUDGE -- Keep going. LIZ -- This is really embarrassing. Alright. I told Amy that the reason I couldn't believe in God is because everything worth believing in the world, can be proved by science. I said that if it can't be weighed or measured or observed scientifically, intelligent people should reject it. JUDGE -- And now? LIZ -- This is really embarrassing. JUDGE -- And now? LIZ -- (sighs) And now I have to eat crow. About half of my job relies on things that have no physical properties. Things like guilt and innocence, motive and intension can't be measured. If I want to remain an atheist, I have to come up with another justification. JUDGE -- Amy is really good at this, isn't she? LIZ -- Excuse me? JUDGE -- She did the same thing to me. LIZ -- She did? JUDGE -- Yes. I had to either change my opinion or get smarter about being an atheist. The argument you were using is just about the best argument the atheists can offer. LIZ -- So, you're not an atheist anymore. JUDGE -- The smart money is on God. AMY -- That's because the evidence you can measure scientifically gives a good case for a non-material creator. JUDGE -- Okay, then, we need to set this case over for trial. AMY -- My client requests a short date, your honor. JUDGE -- So noted. AMY -- Same sentence, Your Honor? LIZ -- Sentence?! The defendant hasn't been found guilty yet! AMY -- Not her sentence, mine. LIZ -- Your sentence? JUDGE -- I sentence defense counsel to 24 hours jail time for filing spurious motions before the court. AMY -- I gladly accept, Your Honor. (exits) JUDGE -- Bailiff, take the defense counsel into custody. This court is in recess. (exits with Liz) LIZ -- You've sent her to jail before? JUDGE -- How do you think I became a Christian? ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. 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