HELL     4'?m2f Heaven and Hell: So close, yet so far

AMY -- (enters wearing work clothes, carrying bucket, with rag 
over shoulder, surveys stage, smiles, dusts off podium or other 
furniture with a swat of the rag)

LIZ -- (enters wearing coat, with head down, removes coat, 
hears the swat, gasps) What are you doing in my house?!

AMY -- Oh, I'm sorry, I was hoping to finish before you got 

LIZ -- Finish what?! Robbing me blind?! 

AMY -- Oh, I'm sorry. How rude of me. I should have introduced 
myself. I'm your new neighbor... (extends hand)

LIZ -- (ignores Amy, notices something pleasant about the 
surroundings) ...Wait a minute. Something's different here. It's 
brighter in here.

AMY -- It's amazing what a coat of paint will do.

LIZ -- You painted my house?!

AMY -- If the color is too light, I can come back and paint it  
a darker shade...

LIZ -- ...and the carpet. It's thicker. It's like walking on 

AMY -- I replaced the carpet.

LIZ -- You what?!

AMY -- But I didn't change the color when I upgraded it.

LIZ -- You upgraded my carpet?! It's brand new!

AMY -- I found a perfect color match in the premium grade. I 
upgraded the padding too...

LIZ -- (points to ceiling over audience) ...Why does my 
chandelier look so much brighter? It didn't even sparkle that 
much when it was new.

AMY -- I replaced the cut glass with diamonds.

LIZ -- Diamonds!?

AMY -- If the light is too bright for you, I replaced the 
(points to audience side wall) on-off switch with a dimmer 
switch. You can...

LIZ -- ...You put diamonds in my chandelier!?

AMY -- The diamond market is way down. I got them for a 

LIZ -- (points to audience back wall) ...What did you do to my 
back yard?!

AMY -- Oh. Ah, I thought a privacy fence would make it a little 
more cozy....

LIZ -- ...No, I'm talking about the pool! You put a swimming 
pool in my back yard?! 

AMY -- Listen, if you think the waterfall is too gaudy, I can 
bring the crew back and have it removed...

LIZ -- ...Wait a minute! I know what you're up to! This is a 

AMY -- A scam?

LIZ -- Yes, a scam! You can't fool me! I'm not signing any 

AMY -- ...Contracts? I...

LIZ -- ...You know, you can't make me pay for things I didn't 
order! The law is on my side! So, you can just forget it!

AMY -- Oh! No. No. I don't expect you to pay for any of this. I 
was just being neighborly.

LIZ -- Neighborly?!

AMY -- Yes, I was about to introduce myself, when you... (offers 

LIZ -- (ignores Amy, turns) ...You mean, this is mine? All mine? 
And it won't cost me anything?!

AMY -- Not a thing. It's a house-warming gift.

LIZ -- A house-warming gift?! This is paradise! (pause) Oh. Oh, 

AMY -- What's the matter?

LIZ -- On my way home tonight... I walked across the street and 
a big truck came at me with it's brakes screeching...

AMY -- Yes, it did.

LIZ -- But it didn't stop in time, did it?

AMY -- No, it didn't.

LIZ -- So, I'm... I'm dead.

AMY -- Yes, you are.

LIZ -- So, this IS paradise.

AMY -- Yes, it is.

LIZ -- And I get to live in paradise!

AMY -- Well, not exactly.

LIZ -- Not exactly.

AMY -- No. (guides Liz to far exit) I had a construction crew 
install a big picture window here on the side of your house, so 
you can look in. You'll be living on the other side.

LIZ -- The other side?! It's dark on the other side. Why would I 
want to live in the dark?

AMY -- I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want to live in the dark.

LIZ -- I... I don't understand.

AMY -- Well, let me put it this way. This (points back to center 
stage) is where you would have lived if you had made a 
commitment to Jesus. But...

LIZ -- Oh, no. Then, it's true what they said!

AMY -- Yes. You'll be on the outside looking in.

LIZ -- But it's dark out there!

AMY -- Well, look at the bright side, you'll be able to see what 
you're missing. (exiting with Liz)

LIZ -- (exiting) Is it my imagination? Or is it getting hot?

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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