DETHRONE 3'?m1f Monologue: backsliding, is Jesus on the throne?

(scene: one chair -- light weight or on casters -- and end table
with lamp, phone, TV remote control DL)

SHE -- (enters smiling and looking up) Lord, I am so glad that I
made that commitment to you. I want you to be the Lord of my
life. (moving chair to C) I want you to rule everything in my
life. I want your throne to be in the middle of my house.
(motions toward chair invitingly)

(to self) Oh. Speaking of the center of my house, I'm having a
party here tomorrow night! (to God) Do you like parties, Lord? I
love parties! There will be lots of food and drinks and...

(moving chair to L) Oh. Dancing. Your throne is right in the
middle of the dance floor, Lord! I'll just put you right here on
the edge of the dance floor where you'll have a ring side seat.
No cover charge. (laughs)

(stops) Oh. Now that I think about it Lord, the way some of my
friends dance is like a pagan fertility ritual. (turns chair
toward exit) You don't want to look at that, do you, Lord?

(moving chair back to DL, next to end table) I have an idea.
I'll put your throne in front of the television set. I have
cable. (laughs, picks up remote control, clicks) Oh, look! This
is my favorite TV show! Have you seen this one, Lord? It's about
these three boys and three girls who live together in this big
house. (watches TV on audience back wall, fascinated) It's all
about who's sleeping with who. And they have this funny neighbor
who's gay and he's always making a play for one of the three

(realization, clicks remote control, turns chair away from
audience) On second thought, Lord, I'm not sure you would want
to watch TV. Let's see. Where can I put your throne so that
everyone at the party will be able to meet you. I'm really
excited about telling people about you.

(moving chair to R) I know! We'll put your throne in the
kitchen! Sooner or later everybody at the party comes out to the
kitchen to get something to eat and something to drink.

(reverses direction) On second thought, most of my friends get
drunk at parties. I can't have you meeting drunk people, can I,
Lord? I know! I'll call Brandon. Brandon lives next door. I'll
call Brandon and ask him to have the party at his house.

(picks up phone, dialing) I mean, it's not that much of an
imposition. I've already bought all the food and drinks.
Besides, Brandon owes me a favor. (to phone) Hi, babe, it's me.
I wonder if you would be a darling and do me a teensy weensy
little favor. (pause) Well, would you be just a sweetie and have
the party at your place tomorrow night? (pause) Why? (glances
up) Well, it's a little hard to explain. I just can't have it
here that's all. Listen, I bought all the food and drinks. I
swear I'll stay after the party and help you clean up.

(playfully) Brandon! You shouldn't say things like that on the
phone! (pause) Well, sure I love you, babe. (pause, playfully)
Well, I'm sure we can work something out. So, you'll do it? The
party, Brandon! (laughs, realization) Oh, ah, listen, Brandon,
I... I've got to go. No. I got to go. (turns away) Yes, there's
someone here. Alright, I'll come over and... and... (glances up)
we'll go over the party plans together. (warmly) Yeah, bye.
(hangs up)

(looks up) I know what you're thinking, Lord. Now that I'm a
Christian, I'm unequally yoked with an unbeliever. I realize
that. But this will give me a chance to witness to him.

(moving chair to C) And besides, now the party won't keep you
from being the center of my life again. And now we're back to
plan "A", Lord. Your throne is in the center of my house.

(exiting) Have fun, Lord! I'm going over to Brandon's place.

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