BACK BOTHER 5'?m3f Don't bother God with petty prayer requests ASHLY -- (enters, kneels) Good morning, Lord. Thanks for this beautiful day. I just have a couple things I need today. (reads from small slip of paper) First, I need a new pair of tennis shoes, then I still haven't had time to do my Bible study homework, so I'll need about 45 minutes of free time... DEMON -- (enters, shouts) Hey! Hey! What do you think you're doing?! Why are you bothering God with your petty little requests?! ASHLY -- (oblivious to Demon and Angel's presence, strokes chin thoughtfully) ANGEL -- (enters carrying Bible) Excuse me, but who gave you permission to interrogate my client? DEMON -- YOUR client?! YOUR client? ANGEL -- Yes. My client is right in the middle of morning prayers and does not wish to be disturbed, thank you! DEMON -- YOUR client?! I don't see your name tattooed on this person. ANGEL -- She was assigned to me. So, I'll thank you to leave her alone. DEMON -- You have no idea who you're dealing with, do you? ANGEL -- Actually, I don't care who you are. I'm the guardian angel assigned to this person. So, she is MY client. And my client has a very busy day ahead of her. So, she needs to talk to the Lord... DEMON -- Did you hear the garbage she was asking for? ANGEL -- My client has learned to be content in whatever the circumstances. So, I'm sure she's only asking for what she needs... DEMON -- ...She asked the creator of the universe for a pair of tennis shoes! ANGEL -- Well, I happen to know that the heels on her tennis shoes are worn out and... DEMON -- ...No, no! You don't understand. She's bothering the creator of a billion billion stars for a pair of tennis shoes! ANGEL -- It's no bother, as long as she needs them. DEMON -- What planet are YOU from, pal? (talks near Ashly's ear) Don't you know that the Lord is very busy running the universe and doesn't have time to trifle with a pair of tennis shoes!? ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Well, sure he does! Look here. (into Ashly's other ear) "And my God will meet ALL your needs." See? (points) He's not just talking about the BIG needs. DEMON -- I can read. I can read! But you have apparently not read the newspaper today. (into Ashly's ear) There's a flood in Bangladesh, a tornado in Oklahoma, an avalanche in Switzerland and a hurricane in the Dominican Republic. The Lord doesn't have time for your petty little prayers. Now, aren't you sorry that you've wasted so much of God's valuable time? ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, I'm quite sure she's not sorry at all. The Bible says to (into Ashly's other ear) "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart." You see, the Lord WANTS her to be completely dependent upon him for her every need. That's why she was created. DEMON -- Look, pal, that dependency stuff might be good for giving warm wooly feelings to the little kiddies, but we're all adults here. (in Ashly's ear) And don't forget that there was a plane crash in Bolivia and a train wreck in Barcelona. The Lord is way too busy to worry about tennis shoes! ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, Jesus said exactly the opposite (points, reads into Ashly's ear) "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven" DEMON -- Alright! Knock off the scripture reading, pal! Do you know who you're dealing with?! ANGEL -- You asked me that before and it really doesn't matter who I'm dealing w.... DEMON -- ...Do you know who CAUSED that plane crash in Columbia? ANGEL -- Bolivia. DEMON -- Whatever! Do you know who CAUSED that train wreck in Madrid? ANGEL -- Barcelona. DEMON -- Don't get technical with me, buddy! I am one powerful demon! I make things happen! (in Ashly's ear) And I can make life miserable for our little friend here! ANGEL -- (opens Bible deftly) Actually, the Bible says exactly the opposite (points, reads into Ashly's ear) "...the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." DEMON -- (into Ashly's ear) Don't listen to that meat head! The Lord is too busy cleaning up after all my disasters to answer your petty little prayers. ASHLY -- Where was I? Oh yes. I need a pair of tennis shoes. I need about 45 minutes of down time to finish my Bible study... (sound cue: knock, knock, knock) I wonder who that could be? (stands exits) DEMON -- Who cares, as long as it interrupts your petty little prayers.... ASHLY -- (reenters carrying a shoe box) Hey! My Mom sent me a pair of tennis shoes for my birthday. (looks up) Thanks, Lord! (exits) ANGEL -- (exiting, mocking) The Lord is way too busy for petty little prayers. (laughs) DEMON -- (follows) Ha. Ha. Very funny. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |