BOREDOM  4'?m2f Boredom, discipleship, ministry

AMY -- (enters, crosses to podium, attaches sign saying "CHURCH

LIZ -- (enters opposite, approaches cautiously) Where did you
come from?!

AMY -- Excuse me?

LIZ -- Where did you come from? I just walked by here an hour
ago on my way to church and you weren't here.

AMY -- Were you interested in finding a new church?

LIZ -- Well, yes. That's why this is so... coincidental. I was
just sitting in church thinking that I should go looking for
another church and there you are!

AMY -- I can find you a new church. What kind of church were you
looking for?

LIZ -- Any kind. Something... different.

AMY -- Different.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- No, I mean, what denomination?

LIZ -- Oh, that doesn't matter. I just need something...

BOTH -- Different.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- So, you don't care what your next church teaches or what
they emphasize or how they worship.

LIZ -- Nope. I just want something....

BOTH -- Different.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- May I ask WHY you want something different?

LIZ -- Yes. I'm bored with this church I'm going to. It's time
for a change.

AMY -- Tell me, does this happen very often?

LIZ -- No. Not real often. It usually takes at least a month or
two before I'm bored with my church.

AMY -- Oh. So, you've changed churches before.

LIZ -- Yes.

AMY -- How many times?

LIZ -- Fourteen or fifteen. I've lost count.

AMY -- Fourteen or fifteen different churches?

LIZ -- Yes. So, what do you have for me?

AMY -- I have some advice.

LIZ -- What kind of advice?

AMY -- Get a job.

LIZ -- Excuse me?

AMY -- Get a job.

LIZ -- I already have a job. I work.

AMY -- No. I mean go back to your church and find a place to use
your gifts and talents.

LIZ -- I don't understand. What does boredom have to do with
using my gifts and talents?

AMY -- Scientifically speaking, your boredom factor is inversely
proportional to the exercise of your gifts and talents.

LIZ -- Wait a minute. Boredom is...

AMY -- ...Inversely proportional to the exercise of your gifts
and talents. In other words, the less you use your gifts and
talents the faster you become bored.

LIZ -- Oh. So that's why I'm bored all the time.

AMY -- The answer to your boredom is not to find a new church
every six weeks, but to use your gifts and talents in your
existing church.

LIZ -- You mean I should find a ministry?

AMY -- Yes. A ministry.

LIZ -- Oh, I could never do that!

AMY -- Why not? Don't you want to serve God?

LIZ -- Oh, God is no problem. I don't mind serving God. It's
just people I don't like serving.

AMY -- What's wrong with people?

LIZ -- Well, I don't mind BEING a servant of the Lord. But I do
mind being TREATED like a servant.

AMY -- Well, then you're doomed to boredom for the rest of your

LIZ -- I can't do that! That means changing churches just as I'm
beginning to learn people's names!

AMY -- Well, that leaves only serving in a ministry.

LIZ -- Yeah. I suppose so.

AMY -- Aren't you happier when you're using your gifts and

LIZ -- Oh, yeah, of course. It's just....

AMY -- Being treated like a servant.

LIZ -- Well, yes.

AMY -- Perhaps your gifts and talents would allow you to find a
place to serve behind the scenes where noone will suspect that
you're a servant.

LIZ -- Oh, yeah. I could do that! I could serve behind the
scenes.... on the sly.... where noone will even suspect that I'm
a servant! They can't treat me like a servant if they don't know
I'm a servant! (returns to exit)

AMY -- Where are you going?

LIZ -- (stops, turns) Back to church. I'm going to sign up for a
ministry.... a clandestine ministry. Noone will suspect a thing!

AMY -- (exiting opposite) Whatever floats your boat.

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