BACK GOLIATH2 5'1m*f RT: David confronts the Philistine giant (RT == Readers' Theater: requires little or no memorization, little or no rehearsal. An indefinite number of reporters are salted throughout the audience.) SAUL -- (enters wearing tunic, sandals and crown, crosses to podium) Good Morning. My name is Saul. I am the first king of Israel appointed by the Lord God of Israel. The reason I called this press conference is to announce that, after a forty day standoff, our war against the Philistine army is now over. Yesterday, our army engage the Philistines at Ephes Dammim, between Socoh and Azekah. And, when we began to overwhelm them, they fled. Their dead were strewn along the Shaaraim road to Gath and Ekron. REPORTER -- Your Majesty, you haven't said anything about the Philistine giant known as Goliath. What happened to him? SAUL -- He's dead. REPORTER -- Your majesty, it's common knowledge that Goliath single-handedly caused the standoff against the army of Israel. In order to get at the army of Philistia, your army would have had to get by Goliath, who was nine feet tall. SAUL -- That's right. And once Goliath was dead, my soldiers rallied and routed the Philistine Army. REPORTER -- So, Goliath died at the beginning of the battle. SAUL -- That's right. REPORTER -- They say that Goliath's sword was as long as a spear and weighed as much as a sledge hammer. How many of your men did it take to kill him? SAUL -- One. REPORTER -- One? REPORTER -- Are you saying that only one Israeli soldier is all it took to kill the giant? SAUL -- That's right. REPORTER -- Your Majesty, it's common knowledge that YOU are taller than any soldier in your army. Are you saying that a soldier smaller than you killed a heavily armored nine-foot giant? SAUL -- That's right. REPORTER -- Can you give us the name of this brave soldier? SAUL -- They told me, but I'm not sure I... David. His name is David son of... son of Jesse. That's it. He's from Bethlehem. REPORTER -- Your majesty, I think there must be some mistake. I'm from Bethlehem. I know all of Jesse's sons. David is the youngest of Jesse's sons. He's just a boy. SAUL -- Well, I wouldn't call him a boy. He's thirteen, maybe fourteen. REPORTER -- Even fourteen is not old enough to be conscripted into the army. How was a boy allowed onto the battlefield? SAUL -- He volunteered. REPORTER -- And you let him go? SAUL -- Well, everyone else was petrified of the giant. I couldn't get one soldier to face him in forty days. REPORTER -- So, the person who killed the giant was a boy?! SAUL -- That's right. After Goliath fell, his fellow soldiers lost heart and ran for their lives. The rest, as they say, is history. REPORTER -- How did a boy kill the giant? Even the longest Israeli sword wouldn't get within striking distance of Goliath's gigantic sword. SAUL -- He used a sling shot. REPORTER -- A sling shot?! SAUL -- And five smooth stones. REPORTER -- It took five shots to bring down the giant? SAUL -- No. The first stone hit Goliath in the forehead and he fell like a sack of flour. Then David took Goliath's own sword and killed him with it. REPORTER -- But you said that David took five smooth stones. SAUL -- Yes. Goliath has four brothers. David was going to kill them too, but they ran. REPORTER -- Your Majesty, is it true that the Prophet Samuel annointed David as the next king of Israel? SAUL -- He what?! REPORTER -- I have eye-witness testimony that Samuel annointed David as King. SAUL -- That's impossible! I am king of Israel! You don't annoint a new king until the previous king is dead. Why would Samuel do such a thing? REPORTER -- Because the Lord told you to kill all the Amalekites and destroy all of their livestock. But you spared Agag their king and took some of their livestock as your own. SAUL -- Somebody has a big mouth! REPORTER -- I'm just the reporter. Don't blame me. SAUL -- So, you're saying this kid from Bethlehem has been selected to replace me? REPORTER -- According to my sources. REPORTER -- What will you do, Your Majesty? Will you abdicate? SAUL -- I'm no quitter! This kid from Bethlehem.... He's just a kid. Samuel annointed him King? Well, what do you know?! REPORTER -- So, what WILL you do? SAUL -- Well, for one thing, I'm going to keep an eye on this kid... this kid.... REPORTER -- David. SAUL -- David. He kills one soldier and thinks he can take over MY throne?! I don't think so! REPORTER -- So, what WILL you do? REPORTER -- Have you thought about assassination? SAUL -- Well, to my soldiers, David is a war hero. An assassination would be interpreted as weakness on my part. And once the assassination ball starts rolling, it could come back at me. You never know what ideas it will give to other ambitious people in Israel. No. In fact, I'll do just the opposite. There's an old saying in politics. It says "keep your friends close and your enemies closer." I'll hire David as a member of my palace staff and watch him like a hawk. If he so much as looks at me funny I'll.... I'll.... (looks both ways) This press conference is over. (exits) �2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |