BACK WILLING 4'2m0f Jesus prayed, Peter and John slept JOHN -- (enters sluggishly, lays over podium, falls asleep) PETER - (enters backward, speaking back to exit) Alright, Jesus, I promise. This time John and I will stay awake for sure. You just pray, Jesus. We'll stand watch. (turns, approaches) John? John. John, wake up. JOHN -- (sigh) Please, Peter, leave me alone. PETER - John, Jesus said for us to stay awake and pray that we might not fall into temptation. JOHN -- That's nice, Peter. (sigh) PETER - John, don't go to sleep. The Lord said to pray and that's just what we're going to do. John, wake up! JOHN -- Huh? PETER - John, wake up. We're going to pray. JOHN -- I'm too tired to remember any prayers, Peter. PETER - Let's say the sample prayer that Jesus gave us. "Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name." Are you with me John? JOHN -- Now I lay me down to sleep. PETER - John, don't go to sleep. John? Okay, let's trying singing. Yeah, that will get the blood circulating. (sings, sways) "Kume by ya, my Lord, Kume by ya. Kume by ya, my Lord, Kume by ya." (shouts) Sing it out John! JOHN -- (sings sluggishly) Oh, Lord, Kume by ya. PETER - That's more like it! Sing with me, (holds up index finger, sings) "This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." Come on, Johnnie, boy. JOHN -- (sings sluggishly) Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. PETER - That away, Johnnie, boy, let's see the flame on the end of your finger. (holds up John's hand, sings) "This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." (shouts) Sing with me, John! JOHN -- (sings) Rockaby baby on the tree top. (mumbles unintelligibly) PETER - Don't fall asleep on me, John. Remember, Judas is probably out there somewhere with the temple guards just waiting for us to fall asleep so he can have Jesus arrested. We can't let him do that, can we, John? John. John, wake up. JOHN -- Peter, I just had the most wonderful dream. I dreamed I was sleeping. PETER - We've got to stay awake, John. I tell you what... did you hear the story about the rabbi, the priest and the baptist minister out in a row boat. JOHN -- Yes, good night. PETER - Okay, okay, I can see that you are a sophisticated audience. Okay, I've got a better one. Suppose a Pharisee and a tax collector jumped off a high building at exactly the same time. Who would hit the ground first? JOHN -- Who cares? PETER - You heard it before. JOHN -- Was I right? PETER - It was a lucky guess. But at least you're awake. So, the audience participation thing is working. JOHN -- Not for long. PETER - Okay, okay. (announcing) And now, the grand prize question: what is the circumference of the earth at the equator? JOHN -- The earth is flat. PETER - Oh yeah. Oh! Oh! I've got one! What is the meaning of omniscience? JOHN -- God knows. PETER - Boy, are you good! JOHN -- Can I go to sleep now? PETER - Let's recite our Bible verses. Here's one just for you. From the Proverbs of Solomon: How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? JOHN -- Here's my favorite. "on the seventh day, he rested". PETER - This is not the seventh day. JOHN -- Don't get technical on me. PETER - John, what are we going to do to stay awake? JOHN -- I have an great idea, Peter. Let's have a contest. PETER - Hey, I'm good at contests, I'm very competitive. Okay, what's the contest? JOHN -- Let's see who can keep his eyes closed the longest. PETER - Good. Okay, ready... one... two... three... (closes eyes, pauses) Hey, this is easy. How are YOU doing, John. John? JOHN -- (snores) PETER - You're just doing that so I'll open my eyes, aren't you, John? Well, I'm not going to fall for that one.. I can keep my... (yawns) I can keep my eyes... closed... (yawns) longer.... (drapes his body over John and podium, snores) ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |