BACK TENANT 4'2m0f The parable of the tenant AL ---- (enters, looks both ways, paces) Where is that contractor? It's so hard to get good help these days. BILL -- (enters hurriedly) Hi, sorry I'm late. I was just meeting with nebula about a new tower he wants to build. AL ---- Nebuchadnezzar? He lived thousands of years ago and hundreds of miles away. How could you...." BILL -- Hey, these are all Bible stories. All you have to do is flip a few pages and boom, you're in Babylon. Anyway, my name is Builder. And you are....? AL ---- Matthew, Matthew 21:33. (offers his hand) BILL -- (shakes) Matthew 21:33? That's an unusual name. AL ---- Yes, well, the Lord didn't give me a name. I thought LANDOWNER sounded a little snobby. BILL -- Suit yourself, Matthew. What can I help you with? AL ---- Okay, I need to put a wall around this vineyard (motions broadly with hands), then I'll need a wing dug (points) and a watchtower put up (points). BILL -- (writes)...wine press and a watchtower...got it! AL ---- Listen, I'm in kind of a hurry, the Lord only gave me one verse to complete all the work and rent out the vineyard to a farmer before I have to take a journey. BILL -- No problem. I'll used undocumented aliens and lots of them. We'll have it all done in plenty of time for you to take a journey in the next verse. AL ---- Undocumented aliens? Mr Builder, this work is for the Lord.... BILL -- No problem. We just won't mention the laborers. Say, maybe I can help you with the farmer too. AL ---- The farmer. BILL -- Yeah, I've done that. AL ---- You're a contractor AND a farmer? BILL -- Yeah, you know the farmer who cast the seed on the path so the birds could eat it up? (points to himself) AL ---- That was you? BILL -- Yes sir, I also built the house on the sand, so it could wash away in the storm. AL ---- Yes, well, maybe I should get more than one bid to build my vineyard wall. BILL -- Look, Matthew, five will get you ten, this parable needs bad guys for tenants. AL ---- Well, yeah, but... BILL -- Then, I'm your man. So, what kind of tenants do you need? Greedy? AL ---- Well, yes, but... BILL -- I am terrific at greedy. Remember the servant who mismanaged the boss's estate and then cut everybody's debt in half to make friends? (points to himself) AL ---- That was you, too? BILL -- Greed is my middle name. I'll pay the illegal aliens next to nothing to build your wall and walk out of here one verse later a rich man. AL ---- Okay, suppose just for a second that you're the tenant. What do you do when I send my servants to bring home my share of your harvest? BILL -- How many servants? AL ---- How many? BILL -- Yeah, in order to make the best impression about greed I have to know how many servants you're sending to carry home your share of the harvest. AL ---- Let's say four. BILL -- Okay, four. See, the trick is to do something nasty to each one, but not the same thing to any of them. It makes a better story. AL ---- Will you get on with this, please? The Lord only gave me six verses for the whole story.... BILL -- I know, I know, then the Lord wraps it all up in a single sentence that all the seminary students can mark with a yellow pen. AL ---- Can you get on with this, please? BILL -- Okay, okay. The servants. Let's see. The first one I beat up, I stone another, I kill the next one and I humiliate the last one and send him back to you with the message "I ain't paying no rent!" AL ---- Alright, so I send four more. BILL -- Same thing. AL ---- You'd do the same thing to each of them again? That's not very creative. BILL -- Look, you've got six verses to work with. What do you want from me? AL ---- Alright, so now suppose I send my only son. BILL -- Hey, nothing personal, but I've got to kill him. AL ---- You'd kill my only son? BILL -- Of course. AL ---- But, why? BILL -- Two reasons: first the greed thing. See, a greedy guy, like me, sees that with your only heir out of the way, the vineyard is mine when you die. Pure logic. AL ---- And the second reason? BILL -- I don't have a lot of time for beating and torturing your son. See, as soon as I finish off your son, I have to rush over to my next gig in chapter 25. AL ---- And what gig is that? BILL -- (rubs his hands together) I'm taking over for your son at his marriage to ten virgins. AL ---- How conforting. BILL -- (points to exit) Oh, there's some illegal aliens! (shouts, exits) Hey, fellas, want a job building a vineyard? AL ---- (shrugs exits opposite) ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |