SLIDES   3'1m1f Paul summarizes his tribulations

DOT --- (prim and proper, wearing reading glasses, enter, talks 
to audience) Class? Settle down please. Class, as part of our 
career week activities, we have asked another member of our 
community to come and share his career with you. Please welcome 
Saul of Tarsus.

PAUL -- (enters) Thank you, but I changed my name to Paul.

DOT --- Well, Paul, it says here that you are an apostle.

PAUL -- Yes.

DOT --- First of all, tell us how you became and apostle.

PAUL -- Well, first, I was blinded. Then I was thrown off my 
mule and hurled to the ground.

DOT --- Oh, dear! What I meant was, what training did you have 
to undergo to become an Apostle.

PAUL -- I spent three years in the desert in Saudi Arabia.

DOT --- That's an unusual place for a university.

PAUL -- Oh, there's no school out there. Just a lot of sand and 

DOT --- You were alone in the desert for three years?

PAUL -- Me and the Holy Spirit.

DOT --- The Holy Spirit... yes, of course. But how did you 
survive. What did you eat?

PAUL -- This guy named John the Baptist, who I met in a prison 
some time ago, gave me a few pointers on surviving in the 

DOT --- And what did he tell you to eat?

PAUL -- Locusts and wild honey.

DOT --- Excuse me for a moment. (exits, nauseated)

PAUL -- Okay, so welcome to the wonderful world of Apostleship I 
brought along a few slides of my travels as an apostle.

(clicks, motions toward UC)

Okay, so this is a picture of me in Damascus, being lowered down 
the outside of the city wall in a basket to avoid being killed 
by a violent mob.


This one in Lystra shows seven guys trying to stone me to death. 
That's me under that pile of rocks. My robe was white, actually. 
The red was from all the blood.

(Dot comes back in, exits again, nauseated by the blood. Click)

Here's Silas and me coming put of prison in Philippi.


And these are some well-meaning Jews in Jerusalem, waiting to 
ambush and kill me. The Roman army whisked me out of town just 
after this picture was taken.


Oh, and here's my favorite. This is a poisonous snake that bite 
my hand and wouldn't let go. I finally shook it off and it 
landed on the bonfire and exploded.

(Dot comes in and goes out)

But, as you can see, I'm still alive. Just two little scars, 
right here. (points to hand, where the snake bit him)


And last but certainly not least, here's what's left of our ship 
after our shipwreck after three weeks adrift at sea. 
Miraculously, not one of us was killed. But several of us lost 
about 20 pounds because we didn't eat anything for a couple of 


So, that's about it. If any of you are interested in being an 
apostle, I have a sign up sheet right....

(exiting toward Dot)

Miss Thornberry, they're all leaving. Is the class over already?

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