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OTHERSON 4'1m0f Monologue: parable of the prodigal son

THE OLDER SON -- (enters backward wearing tunic and sandals,
shouting at exit) No! I won't! I'm not going to your silly
banquet! I don't want to be in the same room with that... that
jerk!

(turns, stomps toward opposite exit, turns to audience) Oh, I...
I didn't know anyone was out here. I... I suppose your here for
the banquet. Everyone else is. I suppose you heard: my juvenile
delinquent of a brother is back. And I don't think it will be
any shock to any of you that he came back penniless. The little
jerk!

Did you hear what my brother did? He had the nerve to ask for
his share of my father's estate BEFORE my father died! Do you
know what my father and I had to go through to give my brother
his share of my father's estate? According to Hebrew law, we
were not allowed to sell any of our land, which is a gift from
God. So, we had to arrange to lease some of our land to other
farmers. We had to sell off some of our herds of sheep and goats
and cattle. It took us months to set the whole thing up! And it
took us months after that to recover our losses and get back to
where we were before. And what does the little brat have to show
for it now? Nothing! Zero! Zilch!

I told my Dad that my brother would blow all of his inheritance
on wine, women and song. I told him that the kid would come
home penniless. I told him! I said, "Dad, you know that giving
him money is like poking it down a rat hole!" But did he listen
to me? (sings) No!

It isn't like my Dad didn't know what my brother was like. The
little brat has always been rebellious and undisciplined. But
Dad gave him all that money anyway. I heard that after the kid
blew all his money on self-indulgence, he finally had to take a
job feeding pigs. (chuckles) The only satisfaction I get from
this whole thing is the vision in my head of a Jewish kid
feeding pigs. (chuckles) We're not even allowed to touch pigs.
(chuckles) Poor little baby had to feed the pigs. Serves him
right.

Listen, I don't want to keep you people. You came here to go to
the banquet. You... you go right in and...

You know, that's another thing that makes me mad! Here I am the
firstborn son. When my father dies, I will be the head of the
family. In my whole life I never gave my father a single day of
grief. When he said jump, I always asked "How High?" If I said I
was going to do something, my Dad could count on it. But has my
Dad EVER given me a banquet? (sings) No!

So, what's the message my Dad is sending to everybody in the
family? If you keep your nose to the grindstone and your
shoulder to the wheel, my Dad ignores you. But if your shiftless
and lazy with a new get-rich-quick scheme every day, if your Dad
can't count on you to do a thing you've promised to do... Well,
then, hey, let's invite the neighbors in for a banquet in honor
of the little juvenile delinquent!

Listen, I don't want to get you people caught in the middle of a
family squabble. You go in and have a good time. The food is
good and there's plenty of it. You know what a great guy my Dad
is.... That's why I can't figure out why he has such a blind
spot where my brother is concerned. He KNEW my brother would
spend his inheritance and come home penniless! He knew it! Yet,
he gave it to him anyway. Why would he do a thing like that?!
(pause)

You know, if my brother inherited his money the proper way, my
father wouldn't have been alive. There is no way my brother
would dare to show his face around here if I was the head of the
family.

(paces, snaps fingers) Well, that's it! That's it! How could I
have been so blind?! My father KNEW that my brother would blow
all of his inheritance no matter when he received it! Dad says
that some people will not learn discipline and humility except
by being humiliated. And he also knew that I would not forgive
my brother after he saw the error of his ways. If my Dad had done
it any other way, my brother would have been lost forever. This
way,... I've got my brother back... and he's a believer. We're a
family again!

You know, the older I get the smarter my Dad gets! (beckons
audience) Come on, everybody! Let's party! (exits)

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