SERGEANT 3'1m4f Sarg leads a Bible study, hears the gospel

SARG -- Come to attention, you low lifes.

(shuffling of feet)

P1 -- Permission to speak sergeant?

SARG -- Permission granted, dog face.

P1 -- What are you doing here? Where the chaplain, sergeant?

SARG -- The chaplain was called away for an emergency. He asked
me to lead your Bible study tonight. That's alright, isn't it,

All -- Sir, yes, sir.

SARG -- I can't hear you.

All -- (louder) Sir, yes, sir.

SARG -- Parade rest.


Present Bibles.


Romans Chapter three....Open.

(paper noise, unintelligible whispering)

What are you doing, scum bucket!?

P2 -- I can't find Romans...

SARG -- You what?!

P2 -- I mean, I can't find Romans, SIR!

SARG -- We don't have all day, private.

P2 -- No sir.

SARG -- What was that?

P2 -- Sir, no sir!

SARG -- Private help this low life find Romans 3.

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(paper noise)

SARG -- Verse 23. What does it say, private?

P4 -- For all have sinned and all fall short of the glory of
God, SIR.

SARG -- All?!

P4 -- Sir, yes, sir.

SARG -- Sergeants don't sin, Private. Would you like to drop
and give me fifty push ups?

P4 -- Sir, no, sir.

SARG -- What?

P4 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(rhythm grunts)

P1 -- Permission to speak, sir?

SARG -- Permission granted, dog breath.

P1 -- My Bible says the same thing, Sergeant.

SARG -- Well, then, it's wrong. Privates may sin, but sergeants don't sin.

P1 -- Isaiah 53:6 confirms what the private read, sir.

We all, like sheep have gone astray. Each of us has
turned to his own way.

SARG -- Alright, private, stand up.

(stop rhythmic grunts)

P4 -- Sir, yes, sir.

SARG -- Okay, so we all sin. What's the difference?

P2 -- Romans six.... SIR.

SARG -- What about Romans six, you hair ball?

P3 -- Roman 6:23... For the wages of sin is death....SIR.

SARG -- Death? Drop and give me fifty pushups, private.

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(rhythmic grunts)

P1 -- Permission to read Roman 5:8, SIR?

SARG -- This better be good, slime ball, or you'll be doing
pushups, too.

P1 -- But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
while we were still sinners Christ died for us, SIR.

SARG -- That's enough pushups, private.

P3 -- Sir, yes, sir.

(stop rhythmic grunts)

SARG -- I lead a pretty good life. I don't smoke, I don't
drink, I'm faithful to my wife.

P2 --  Titus 3:5... He saved us, not because of righteous
things we had done but because of his mercy. SIR.

SARG -- Us? Who is this US?

P4 -- John 1:12, SIR.

Yet, to ALL who received him, to those who believed in
his name HE gave the right to become children of God.

SARG -- He? Who is this HE?

P1 -- Jesus Christ, Sir.

P3 -- He died and rose again. He's alive, sir.

SARG -- Received him?

P3 -- Sure. You just pray and ask him to be your commanding
officer, sergeant.

SARG -- Yes, well I guess this Bible study is over. Attention.
Close Bibles. Order Bibles. Left Face. Forward Harch.

Hup, hup, hup two three four.

(Footsteps fade, door closes)

(Fading) Dear God in heaven, I want to accept Jesus as
my commanding officer...

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