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ROBOT    4'2m1f A kids toy is converted to reciting verses

(door open, small motors whine, both humans are hillbillies, 
android is British)

DARELL -- Darla, look what I found!

DARLA --- What is it, Darell, a robot?

DARELL -- No, Darla, it's a can opener. Of course, it's a robot. 

DARLA --- You're always bringin' home junk, Darell.

DARELL -- The fellas from the carnival left it in the dumpster.

DARLA --- You ain't bringin' another piece of junk in this 
house, Darell.

DARELL -- It ain't junk, Darla. I fixed it. But I haven't been 
able to get it to talk yet. They used to use it to entertain the 
kids on the midway. So, I know it kin talk.

DARLA --- It's just gonna end up in the attic with the other 
junk you brung home, Darell.

DARELL -- I can fix it. I can fix anything.

DARLA --- Even if ya can fix it, Darell, what good is it?

DARELL -- I can bring it to the Sunday school with me. It can 
recite Bible verses to the little kids. Looky here, I found a 
couple more loose wires.

DARLA --- You sure you know what yer doin' there, Darell?

DARELL -- Piece of cake, Darla. There. All done. Now I just push 
this here button on the remote control.

ANDROID - (Beep) Hi, kids, hi yah, hi yah.

DARELL --  See, I told ya, Darla. I can fix anything. Now, all 
we have to do is load in this New Testament tape.

ANDROID - (click, beep) Born of a virgin, wrapped swaddling clothes, 
lying in a manger, because... rid did did did dit...She live in 
a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do.

DARLA --- That's real nice, Darrel, but are you sure that's the 
way the Bible reads?

DARELL -- Sounds good to me. Let's try another one.

ANDROID - (beep) After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea 
during the reign of King Herod ... rid did did dit ... he called 
for his pipe and he called for his bowl and and he called for 
his fiddlers three.

DARLA --- That don't sound right, Darell.

DARELL -- Sounds good to me, Darla.

ANDROID - (Beep) Three magi from the east came to Jerusalem... 
rid did did dit... the struck one, and down he ran, hickory 
dickory dock.

DARLA --- I don't remember no hickory dickory doc in the Bible, 
Darell.

DARELL -- It's the New International Version, Darla. You know 
how them boys mess up a translation.

ANDROID - (Beep) And there were shepherds living out in the 
fields nearby, keeping watch over their sheep... rid did did did 
dit .... with a baa baa here, a baa ba there, here a baa there a 
baa, everywhere a baa baa.

DARLA --- Darell, this just ain't right.

DARELL -- It just needs a little adjustment, that's all, Darla. 
There. Let's try that.

ANDROID - (Beep) At the wedding in Cana in Galilea, Jesus turned 
water into wine and... rid did did did dit ...The cow jumped 
over the moon and the dish ran away with the spoon.

DARLA --- Darell, we cain't have him sayin' that kinda stuff in 
front of the sunday school.

DARELL -- We'll put in the junior high class. They'll never 
notice.

ANDROID - (Beep) After supper, Jesus and the disciples went out 
of the city to the Mount of Olive... Rid did did did dit...Jack 
fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

DARLA --- That does it, Darrel. You ain't putting that thing in 
no Sunday school!

DARELL -- Don't give up so quick, Darla. There's some dip 
switches in here we ain't tried yet.

DARLA --- Don't bother, Darell. You ain't bringing that THING in 
the house.

DARELL -- There we go! That's better.

ANDROID - (Beep) I just love your new hair do, madam...rid did 
did did dit... may I help you with the dishes?

DARLA --- On the other hand, Darrel, one should always stay 
abreast of new technology. Gimme that remote control. (Fading) 
Right this way, tin man.

(small motors whine)

ANDROID - (fading) As you wish, Madam.

DARELL -- (fading) Hey, wait a minute, Darla, something ain't 
right here. Darla!


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