BACK FALSE 4'2m0f A false messiah comes to a radio station (door open) FRED -- Hi, are you the manager for this radio station? ED -- Yes, I am. FRED -- Then, you can announce me. I'm here. ED -- And who would you be? FRED -- Don't you recognize me? I'm him. ED -- Him. FRED -- The messiah, silly. So, here I am. You can announce my arrival now. ED -- The Bible says that you will arrive the same way you departed. FRED -- That is correct. And here I am. ED -- And who saw you arrive? FRED -- Nobody. I snuck in through the side door to avoid autograph hounds. You know how it is when you're famous. ED -- But, you had several witnesses when you ascended into heaven. And you promised that when you descended from Heaven again, you'd have several witnesses. FRED -- Oh that! I changed my mind. ED -- Funny, you've never broken a single one of your promises before. FRED -- Well, I'm the messiah. I can do anything I want. So, you can break into this program now and announce my arrival. ED -- Not so fast fella! FRED -- FELLA? Is that any way to address the son of God? ED -- How do I know that you are really the son of God? So far, all I know about you is that you break your promises. FRED -- Okay, you want proof? Go ahead and ask me how old I am. ED -- Alright, how old are you? FRED -- I'm older than the hills. ED -- I'm not impressed. FRED -- If I were not the messiah, would I know the names of places on earth when they were just getting started? Would I know names like Mississippi Creek, the Mediterranean pond or the Himalaya foothills? Would I? I think not. ED -- I'm still not impressed. FRED -- I remember when the Red Sea was only pink. I remember when the Dead Sea was only sick. ED -- Ho humm. FRED -- Remember the great Sahara Forest? ED -- The Sahara is a desert. FRED -- Yeah, now! ED -- Look, how do I know you're not just making up all these names? FRED -- Because I not only created the world, I also created the universe. You know the Milky Way? ED -- You mean the Milky Way galaxy? FRED -- Yes. I remember when it was much thicker. I called it the Creamy Way. ED -- That doesn't prove anythin... FRED -- Just break into this radio show and let me make my announcement and I'll spare you from the lake of fire. ED -- No. FRED -- Aw, come on! Here, let me prove beyond the shadow of a doubt who I am. Let me write on your wall here, like I did for Joshua. ED -- That was Daniel. FRED -- Whatever, let me make my announcement. ED -- Look, the Bible warns us that as the end times approach, several people will claim to be the messiah. I think you're a fake. FRED -- Alright! Now you've gone and made me mad. Just for that, you get left behind when I take my flock home to heaven in the rapture. ED -- Jesus said that I already have eternal life if I believe in him, which I do. And he also promised that NOONE can snatch me out of his hand. FRED -- He said that? I mean, I said that? ED -- Yes. FRED -- Alright, then, you get to come too, but you have to ride in coach. ED -- The first shall be last and the last shall be first. FRED -- Why do yo keep quoting the Bible? ED -- All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking and training in righteousness. FRED -- Is that another Bible verse? ED -- You ought to know. You wrote it. FRED -- Oh, yeah, I remember now. The reason I forgot is I wrote it when I was doing two things at once. That's when I was also flooding the earth, after Abraham built the arc. ED -- That was Noah. FRED -- Noah. I meant Noah. ED -- Out. Out. FRED -- (fading) That was back when the Black Sea was just light grey. ED -- Out! (door close) ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |