BOBSNEWS 5'4m?f Bob's body reacts to the good news

ANCHOR -- It's six o'clock and time for an update on the news 
from Bob's body. I'm your news anchor, my name is Bob. Let's go 
first to an update on Bob's brain. Here is our science editor. 

SCIENCE - Thanks, Bob. Earlier this evening, Bob's ears heard 
the Gospel of Jesus Christ loud and clear. Bob has also heard a 
clear invitation by the pastor to come forward and make a public 
acknowledgement of his decision. All sound levels and light 
levels are optimal for Bob to process the incoming data. Bob's 
brain is now working at maximum capacity to calculate what the 
Gospel means to Bob. Back to you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Let's switch right away to Bob's legs and our action 
reporter. Bob?

ACTION -- There is currently no activity in Bob's legs or feet, 
Bob. Bob's backside seems to be glued to the pew. We'll update 
you the moment we see any activity here in Bob's legs. Bob?

ANCHOR -- Thank you, Bob. Let's switch to our lifestyle reporter 
in Bob's heart. Bob?

LIFESTYLE - Thanks, Bob. Very clearly, the gospel message has 
had an effect on Bob's heart. Surface measurements of Bob's 
heart show that deep down inside of Bob's heart, he knows that 
Jesus is God incarnate and that he should change his lifestyle 
to include the creator of the universe. But as we have reported 
several times in the past, Bob's heart only gets one vote in the 
democratic process of Bob's body. Back you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Thank you, Bob. We seem to be getting some activity 
from Bob's head. Let's switch quickly to our science editor. 

SCIENCE -- Thanks, Bob. What Bob is looking at now is the altar 
of the church. Bob is watching several other people in the 
congregation go forward to publicly acknowledge their decision 
to accept Jesus as their savior. Bob is watching the process 
with great interest. Now, back to.... Oh, wait! Yes, indeed, 
Bob. Bob definitely nodded his head just now, indicating that 
Bob is favorably disposed toward salvation. Back to you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Thanks, Bob. Let's see if there is any other motor 
activity in Bob's body, as we check in with our action reporter 
in Bob's legs. Bob?

ACTION -- Bob, if there has been a decision to make any kind of 
commitment, it is not evident down here in Bob's legs. I'm at a 
loss to explain why all systems in Bob's body are go for 
salvation, but Bob is still sitting on the launch pad. Back to 
you, Bob?

ANCHOR -- Well, Bob seems to be at odds with himself. He seems 
to be favorably disposed toward salvation but he's not doing 
anything about it. Let's get an update from Bob's heart and our 
lifestyle editor. Bob?

LIFESTYLE -- Thanks, Bob. Amazing as it sounds, Bob's heart, 
which was the first part of his body to encourage Bob's 
conversion, is now the source of his hesitation. Bob's new 
lifestyle, though it would include eternal life, would also 
carry a rather weighty downside. Bob now has to admit that his 
present lifestyle is somehow lacking before he can accept the 
new life in Christ. Back to you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Thank you, Bob. Let's switch to Bob's brain and our 
science editor. Bob?

SCIENCE -- Thanks, Bob. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a real 
cliffhanger going here. Bob's eyes and ears have just received 
messages from the pastor at the front of the church that time is 
running out for this altar call. Bob's brain is working at near 
overload at this point. He seems to be doing an unusually large 
number of calculations for a decision that has only two answers, 
yes or no. Back to you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Thank you, Bob. We switch you immediately back to Bob's 
heart for a news flash. Here's our lifestyle reporter. Bob?

LIFESTYLE -- Bob, we now know that the quandry in Bob's heart 
was much less about admitting that his present lifestyle was 
lacking, than about how much he will have to give up in order to 
be saved. Fortunately, the Pastor's last invitation to the altar 
included an explanation that God would take Bob just as he is 
now. Bob's heart is decidedly lighter now than just a moment 
ago. Back to you, Bob.

ANCHOR -- Thank you, Bob. Let's switch immediately to our action 
reporter in Bob's legs for an update. Bob?

ACTION -- Thanks, Bob. And, yes, ACTION is the byword here. 
Bob's bottom is now off the pew and Bob's legs are walking... no 
they're running down the isle toward the altar. Back to you Bob.

ANCHOR -- And there you have it. A moment in Bob's life and one 
that Bob will never forget. Bob has just crossed over from death 
to life. That's our update from Bob's body for tonight. Good 

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