BACK SNAKES 3'1m1f Moses endures complaints until God sends snakes WHINER - (whines) Moses, you gotta help us. MOSES -- You again. WHINER - Why have you brought us up out of Egypt to die in the desert? There is no bread! There is no water! And we detest this miserable food! MOSES -- (afar) Excuse me. WHINER - Why are you hiding under that table? MOSES -- The last time you people complained the Lord rained down death on you. You're gonna a get it and I don't want to get it too. WHINER - Oh, great. Just what we need. More problems. How come everything happens to us. MOSES -- Watch out. Here it comes. WHINER - Here what comes... (declining whistle, thud) MOSES -- Boy are you lucky. WHINER - Lucky? I don't think I'm so lucky. We're out here in the hot sun, wearing the same clothes that we wore when we left Egypt. And now I almost got hit in the head by this big box. What's so lucky about almost getting hit in the head by a big box? MOSES -- The box could have hit you in the head. (aside) Only in my dreams. WHINER - Big deal. I don't feel so lucky. What's in the box? MOSES -- Well, let's see what the Lord sent for us. WHINER - The way my luck has been going, it's probably more of that miserable manna from heaven. I hate that stuff. MOSES -- Well, let's take a look. (creek, creek, thud, hiss, rattle) WHINER - Well, what is it? It doesn't sound like manna from heaven to me. MOSES -- It's not manna. WHINER - Well, don't keep us waiting. What did the Lord send us? MOSES -- Snakes. (louder hiss, rattle) WHINER - Oh, great. We need decent food and a change of clothes, but what does the Lord send? He sends snakes. Oh, great. What good is a big box full of snakes. MOSES -- Gee, I don't know. Let's turn them loose and see. WHINER - No, don't let them out. They'll bite us. MOSES -- I think that's the idea. (thud, hiss, rattle louder) WHINER - Oh, great, just... ah! ... what we need... ah! We're out here in the... ah! middle of the... ah! desert... ah! and all we get is bitten by a... ah! snakes ah!. What did you do... ah! that for? ah! MOSES -- Because all you ever do is whine. Whine, whine, whine. WHINER - Alright, alright. ah! We'll stop whining. ah! Just get rid of the snakes. Ah! MOSES -- Sorry. WHINER - Oh, great, just what we need... ah! Alright, alright ah! This time we'll... ah! REALLY stop whining. ah! We promise. ah! Please do something. ah! MOSES -- Oh, alright. But I was just beginning to enjoy watching you dance around. WHINER - ah! Hurry, please! MOSES -- Alright, listen up. WHINER - ah! MOSES -- I'm putting this snake made of brass on top of this pole. WHINER - ah! MOSES -- If you get bitten by a snake... WHINER - ah! MOSES -- Just look at the brass snake... WHINER - ah! MOSES -- And you won't die of snake bites. WHINER - (pause) Hey, it works! I'm still alive! Hey, how about that! You know the Lord is really faithful. As soon as we turned from our wicked ways and stopped whining, he took care of us. MOSES -- Yes, the Lord is full of grace and mercy. (aside) More than I would be. WHINER - (whines) Now, if he can do that, why couldn't he send some new clothes and some decent food. (fading) Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ah! Where's that pole? Ah! Ah! Ooh. Ooh. I take it back. Ah! Ah! Ah! ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |