BACK JACOB'S 4'1m1f Esau loses his inheritance in Jacob's Diner LIZ -- Hi, welcome to Jacob's Diner. What can I get ya...Holy mackerel! Your skin is red as a beet! You been out in the sun too long, fella! ESAU - Oh, that's the natural color of my skin. I was born that way. That's why they call me Edom. LIZ -- Well, hi, Edom. ESAU - Actually, my name is Esau. But, you can call me anything they want as long as you don't call me... Both --...late for dinner. LIZ -- Yeah, how clever. ESAU - Oh, speaking of dinner, I just came in off a hunting expedition and BOY I'm famished! What's my brother got for me to eat? LIZ -- Jacob is your brother? ESAU - Yeah, my twin brother. Why? LIZ -- Fella, you must have been away hunting for a long time! I've been working here at the diner for almost two weeks. ESAU - Two weeks, that's about right. And right now I'm so hungry I could eat a skunk. How about we start with a the T-bone steak? LIZ -- How you want it cooked? ESAU - Well done. With them onion rings on top. LIZ -- (Shouts, fading) T-bone steak with onion rings. (2 seconds of low mumbles) Sorry, we're out of T-bones. ESAU - Deep fried chicken, then. I love the way Jacob makes chicken. LIZ -- Baked potato, mashed or french fries? ESAU - French fries. LIZ -- Green beans, carrots or apple sauce. ESAU - Carrots. LIZ -- (Shouts, fading) Fried Chicken, with fries and carrots. (more mumbling) Sorry, no chicken either. ESAU - Oh, man! I could smell chicken and steak for the last 3 miles into town. Oh, well, what else you got? Polish sausage? LIZ -- (shouts) Polish sausage! Sorry, out. ESAU - Egg plant parmesan? LIZ -- (shouts) Egg plant parmesan. Sorry. ESAU - Then, I'll just have a plate of spaghetti. LIZ -- Marinara sauce or Alfredo sauce. ESAU - I don't care! I'm starving! LIZ -- Spaghetti with marinera sauce. And hurry, your brother is starving. Sorry. We're out of spaghetti too. ESAU - Oh, man! I'm dying here! LIZ -- Sorry, fella, the dinner rush is over. We were about to clean up and go home. ESAU - Well, what DO you have? LIZ -- We got lot's of red lentil stew. ESAU - Good! I'll take the whole pot! LIZ -- He'll take the whole pot of red lentil stew. (mumbling) Oh. You got any money, mister....ah Esau? ESAU - Money? I've been hunting for two weeks. I didn't carry any money! LIZ -- Sorry. Boss says, no money, no red lentil stew. ESAU - (Shouts) This is that thing about Dad, isn't it, Jacob. You never forgave me because Dad liked me best because I was a hunter and you were a cook. (to liz) Get him out here, would ya? LIZ -- Don't get me involved in your family squabbles. I just work here. ESAU - Alright, he knows I don't have any money. What does he want from me? LIZ -- He says to sign this. (paper slapped on table) ESAU - What's this? I'm signing over my birthright as firstborn for a pot of red lentil stew? LIZ -- Sign it or don't sign it. It makes no difference to me. You're gonna stiff me on the tip anyway. ESAU - Alright...there. I signed it. Now can I have my stew? LIZ -- (approaching) One pot of red lentil stew coming right up. There you go. ESAU - (mouth full) Oh, this is good. Mmmmm this is good. LIZ -- So, what do you want for dessert when your done there? ESAU - (mouth full) Chocolate cream pie. LIZ -- Sorry, we're out of pie. ESAU - (mouth full) Banana split. LIZ -- Sorry, no ice cream. ESAU - (mouth full, screams) ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |