BACK ESTHER 9'2m1f Esther stops Haman from wiping out the Hebrews XERXES -- (impatient moans, groans for several seconds, then...) Darling? Esther? My queen? Esther, are you awake? ESTHER -- (sleepy) I am now. What do you want, Xerxes? XERXES -- I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning all night, and I don't know why. My darling, Esther, you are so incredibly beautiful. I think I know what will make me get to sleep... ESTHER -- Me too. I'll read to you. XERXES -- Well, that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but... ESTHER -- ... I've noticed that you get drowsy whenever the court scribe reads the daily entries from the royal archives. XERXES -- That's because it's so boring. The same old who-gave-what-to-whom, the same old who-got-married-to-whom, the same old who-came-to-the-party. You know, Esther, you're so incredibly beautiful. I'd much rather... ESTHER -- You just lay back and close your eyes... XERXES -- ...But, darling, I'd really would rather... ESTHER -- Now, Xerxes, do you want to get to sleep or not? XERXES -- Well, yes, but... ESTHER -- Then, lay back on your pillow and close your eyes. XERXES -- Oh, alright, but if this doesn't work... ESTHER -- Oh, here's an entry in the archives I'll bet you haven't heard. XERXES -- Okay, I'm relaxing and my eyes are closed. let's hear it. ESTHER -- Hmmmm. It says here that uncle Mordecai discovered a plot to kill you and take over your throne. When did this happen? XERXES -- Oh, that was a few weeks ago, while they were preparing you for the wedding. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to ruin the wedding. This Mordecai was an old guy who parked himself outside tha palace gate. He overheard two of the palace guards talking about the plot and reported it to me. We caught the culprits just as they were about to spring into action. We were so busy with the trial and with our wedding we completely forgot to publicly acknowledge fellow... this... ESTHER -- Mordecai. XERXES -- Yes, but I would have sworn I heard you call him UNCLE Mordecai. ESTHER -- Oh, ah, I, ah,... yes, I did, didn't I? Well, I guess he's been hanging around the palace gate for so long that the women in the harem are beginning to call him uncle Mordecai. XERXES -- Yes, now that you mention it, I can picture the old guy in my mind. He started hanging around the palace gate several weeks ago... right around the time that you came to live in the palace. Isn't that a coincidence? ESTHER -- (beat) Coincidence? Yes, oh, ah, yes, ah, of course. So, tell me, Xerxes, shouldn't you publicly acknowledge this Mordecai for saving your life? XERXES -- Yes. Yes, I suppose I should. Yes, I shall do something nice for him first thing in the morning. Yes, that's a good idea. I'll do something nice for him. I'll have my administrator, Haman, give him a hero's welcome to the palace. Yes, first thing in the morning. But right now, I'm still not sleepy. Esther, did I ever tell you how incredibly beautiful you are? ESTHER -- Speaking of Haman, Xerxes, did you know that Haman had a gallows built near his house? XERXES -- A gallows? What, you mean as in hanging? ESTHER -- Yes. But he apparently wants to make a spectacle of the hanging. He built the gallows 75 feet high. XERXES -- Well, who is he hanging? I wasn't aware of anyone in my kingdom who deserved hanging. ESTHER -- I'm sure he'll explain it to us all at our little banquet tomorrow. XERXES -- Oh, yes, I guess that's why I was tossing and turning all night. When you came to the throne room I promised that you could have anything you want. But you're being so mysterious about it. I was wondering why you wouldn't tell me what you want from me. ESTHER -- Please have patience, Xerxes, I realize that your offer of up to half your kingdom is a generous one. And keeping my king waiting for an answer is rude, but please have patience. I will tell you what I want at the banquet tomorrow. XERXES -- Do you think you have to get me all softened up with with wine before you ask me? I already told you you can have anything you want. Just tell me so I can get some sleep. ESTHER -- Xerxes, what do you think of Haman? XERXES -- You're not going to tell me, are you? You're going to make me lie awake all night wondering what you could possibly want from me. ESTHER -- Can you trust Haman? XERXES -- My chief administrator? Well, I hope so. I gave him my signet ring. He can use it to order anything he wants done in my whole kingdom. But let's not talk about him. If you're not going to tell me what you want from me, let's talk about you and me. Did I tell you how incredibly beautiful you are and how much I'd like to... ESTHER -- Did you know that Haman ordered the deaths of thousands of people in your kingdom? XERXES -- (growls) Humbug. Alright, if you want to talk about Haman, we'll talk about Haman. Yes, I knew. He told me that we needed to get rid of some trouble makers in the kingdom. So, I gave him my signet ring so he could arrange too get rid of them. Now, where were we? Oh, yes, did I ever tell you how incredibly beautiful you are?... (footsteps fading) Esther, where are you going? ESTHER -- (afar) I have a banquet to prepare for. XERXES -- Esther! (door close) Oh, well, I guess I'll read a few more entries in the royal archives. That usually works. (yawns) Weddings. Funerals. (yawns) Births (yawns) Roy... royal visitor... royal vis... (snores, pause) ESTHER -- Xerxes. Xerxes, my king wake up. XERXES -- (snort) Huh? Oh, you mean I finally fell asleep? ESTHER -- You slept like a baby. XERXES -- It must have been the archives. You were right, my darling. (yawns) What time is it? ESTHER -- It's after noon. It's time for the banquet. XERXES -- The banquet! Where is the banquet? I have to get dressed! ESTHER -- No, no, my king. Stay right where you are. The banquet is just for the three of us. I've summoned Haman to come here. (clap, clap, shouts) Bring in the food and the wine. And ask Haman to come in. XERXES -- Ah, yes, Haman. ESTHER -- I don't mean to desparage your choice of a chief administrator, Xerxes, but I think Haman is a snake. XERXES -- Esther! HAMAN --- (mumbles, afar) Of all the nerve asking me to lead a horse through the city. Me, the chief administrator! XERXES -- Haman, are you upset about something? HAMAN --- (near, snake-like, emphasizing his S's) King Xerssssessss, how nicccce to sssssssee you again. XERXES -- (aside) Now that you mention it, Esther, I've never noticed that Haman's tongue is split up the middle. (aloud) Haman, did I notice that you were upset about something? HAMAN --- Who me? Noooo. I just had to lead Mordecai's horse through the city streets shouting at the top of my lungs what a great hero he is. Now, he looks like a hero and I look like a footman. XERXES -- What are you talking about? HAMAN --- She tricked me! ESTHER -- I did not. HAMAN --- You did too. You asked me what I would do to acknowledge a national hero and I told you. But, you said... XERXES -- What's going on here, darling? ESTHER -- Well, you were asleep, darling, so I, knowing how badly you wanted to recognize Mordecai as a national hero, I just asked Haman to go ahead and do what he said he'd do. He put a purple robe on Mordecai and lead his horse through the streets shouting to all what a great deed he had done. I'm sorry you missed it Xerxes. HAMAN --- She tricked me! You didn't tell me who the national hero was until I had already committed to doing it. ESTHER -- Mordecai saved Xerxes' life. Didn't he, sweetie? XERXES -- Well, yes, he did, but... Did I miss something? HAMAN --- Yes, Mordecai was one of the trouble makers that I was going to hang. Now, we have to go to all the trouble to discredit him in order to hang him. I may even have to delay the hanging. And it's all HER fault! ESTHER -- Uncle Mordecai is not a trouble maker. XERXES -- There, you said it again. ESTHER -- Said what? XERXES -- You called him UNCLE Mordecai. HAMAN --- Yes, why did you call him UNCLE Mordecai. ESTHER -- I'll tell you about that later. Right now, I want to announce what I have decided that I want from my dear sweet husband, King Xerxes. XERXES -- Anything you ask, my darling, up to half my kingdom. ESTHER -- I want you to spare all those who Haman calls troublemakers. HAMAN --- Troublemakers, that's what they are! And I've already sent out the order to have them killed in the king's name. XERXES -- Why would you have me cancel an order that has already been sent out, my darling? ESTHER -- They're not trouble makers at all. Haman is just angry because Uncle Mordecai would not bow down to him, as he does to you. He wants to hang Mordecai to show everyone that they should bow down to him also. XERXES -- Is that so, Haman? HAMAN --- They're troublemakers, I tell you. XERXES -- Why would he bow down to you? You're just an administrator. HAMAN --- Everyone else bows down. They know what's good for them. They know I have the power of life and death over them. But these Hebrews, they only bow down to their king and their God. They're all trouble makers. They must be put to death. ESTHER -- Just because they won't bow down to you? HAMAN --- Yes. Yes. If you must know. Yes. XERXES -- How do you know all this, Esther? ESTHER -- Well, that was the other thing I wanted to announce today, my king. Mordecai is my uncle. I am a Hebrew too. So, if you want hang them, hang me too. HAMAN --- You what?! XERXES -- You're a Hebrew? I had no idea. HAMAN --- (afar) Curses, foiled again. XERXES -- Just a minute, Haman. You're not going anywhere. You were going to hang innocent people. (shouts) Guards, take Haman to the gallows he just built and hang him. Tell everyone in the country that he who exalts himself will be humbled. HAMAN --- (afar) Your majesty, I didn't finish my wine yet. XERXES -- (shouts) Get him out of here. Oh, and bring me Mordecai. He's probably hanging around the palace gate. ESTHER -- Surely, you won't harm the man who saved your life, my king. XERXES -- Certainly not. With Haman gone, I will need a new chief administrator. What better choice than one who saved my life? ESTHER -- Oh, Xerxes, how can I ever thank you. XERXES -- Guards, leave the room. The queen got her wish, now I get mine. ©2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK |