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CARMEL   3'2m0f Elijah and the prophets of Baal in tournament

ANNOUNCER -- Hello and welcome to Mount Carmel and the 
TOURNAMENT OF THE GODS. In front of me are two identical stone 
altars stacked high with fire wood. On top of the stacks of wood 
are two identical sacrifices just waiting to be burned up. And 
now, please welcome our contestants.

(applause) 

On my left are 400 prophets of Ashurah and on my right is a 
single prophet of the Lord Jehovah. The 400 prophets of Ashurah 
have already begun to call down fire from their god Baal. But 
the prophet of Jehovah does not seem to be in much of a hurry. 
Let's see if I can get an interview with him. Your name sir?

ELIJAH ----- Elijah. Am I on the air?

ANNOUNCER -- Yes.

ELIJAH ----- Hi, Mom.

ANNOUNCER -- Well, Elijah, your god Jehovah is not very well 
represented here at the Tournament of the Gods.

ELIJAH ----- No, Queen Jezebel killed all the prophets of 
Jehovah except me.

ANNOUNCER -- So, you're outnumbered 400 to 1. What do you think 
your chances are?

ELIJAH ----- Oh, my God will win, hands down.

ANNOUNCER -- You're pretty confident.

ELIJAH ----- Yeah. Mom, if you're listening. I love you.

ANNOUNCER -- Well, explain to our listeners the rules of the 
Tournament of the Gods.

ELIJAH ----- Well, it's simple, really. The first god to send 
fire and burn up his sacrifice is the winner. These guys don't 
stand a chance. (Shouts) What's the matter, Ashurah, is your god 
asleep? Maybe he's thinking about something else. Or maybe he's 
out of town. (normal) They just don't get it. They actually 
think that there's another God besides Jehovah. (fading) I'll 
see you later. 

ANNOUNCER -- Elijah, instead of going to pray to his God 
continues to taunt his opportune. The 400 Ashurah prophets are 
now in a frenzy of dancing and chanting in an effort to get 
their god Baal to light their sacrifice on fire. Some of them 
are actually slashing their own skin to draw blood for their 
god.

ELIJAH ----- (shouts, afar) Watch this, fellas.

ANNOUNCER -- Elijah is now soaking his sacrifice and all the 
fire wood with water. Once, twice, three times. Meanwhile the 
prophets of Asherah are collapsing after their exhausting and 
bloody ritual, and with no apparent result. Elijah now falls to 
his knees in prayer. Oooo. A short prayer. Well, he's back on 
his feet again and backs away from the alt.

(roar)

Ladies and Gentlemen, fire just fell from the sky and consumed 
not only the sacrifice and the firewood, but also the rocks of 
the alt and some of the ground underneath. Here comes our lone 
hero now. Elijah, you really did a spectacular job out there 
today.

ELIJAH ----- It wasn't me. It was the Lord Jehovah. He's so hot 
he sizzles. Am I on the air?

ANNOUNCER -- Yes.

ELIJAH ----- Hey, Mom, say hi to Uncle Morty for me.

ANNOUNCER -- Well, there you have it. Another classic 
confrontation from the Tournament of the Gods. Good night 
everybody.


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