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MAFIA    4'3m0f The Sanhedrin meets the mafia.

BOSS -- Alright, dis meetin' of the Sanhedrin will come to orda. 
Hey, all you priests and Pharisees, listen up. 

BENNIE- Sure, boss. 

BOSS -- Owa first order a business is owa financial report from 
Vinnie da weasel. Vinnie? 

VINNIE- Tanks, Boss. Owa books show record earnin's from 
throwing poor windows and orphans outa der homes and sellin' der 
property. We also show a definite uptick from our new  
reinvestment strategy. 

BENNIE- What's he talkin' about, boss? 

BOSS -- Tell 'em, Vinnie. 

VINNIE- Bennie, you was not here at the last meetin' of da 
Sanhedrin when we decided to take the money that we would 
normally use to support owa aging muddas an' faddas and invest 
it in our temple. 

BENNIE- You mean, we ain't supportin' owa poor muddas an' faddas 
no more? You mean day may hafta beg in da streets and at da 
temple gates? 

VINNIE- Dat is correct. 

BENNIE- What a marvelous idea! Where was I when yous made dis 
decision?

VINNIE- You was out of town trying to organize the rank and file 
Jews to stone Jesus to death. 

BENNIE- Oh, yeah, sorry he slipped tru my fingas. 

BOSS -- And now we will cover new business. The chair recognizes 
Bennie da tooth. 

BENNIE- Boss, I would appreciate it if you would stop callin' me 
Bennie the tooth. 

BOSS -- What else do yu call a guy with only one tooth? 

BENNIE- Whateva. I would like to report on the earnin's from owa 
newest scam. 

BOSS -- Oh, you mean the fasting in public? 

BENNIE- Yeah, da fastin', that's it. We got Pharisees hangin' 
out on all da street corners and public squares lookin' hungry 
and prayin' out loud. They attract large crowds and... 

BOSS -- Skip da details. What's da bottom line?  

BENNIE- I am almost ashamed to announce that the suckers are 
buying da scam in record numbas. The fastin' Pharisees took in 
253 talents and 22 drachmas yesterday alone (chuckles) for da 
homeless widows and orphans fund (chuckles) 

BOSS -- Yeah, for da poor widows and orphans, right (all laugh)

BENNIE- Deez early results is so encouragin' that we are now 
makin' plans to roll out the public fastin' scam nation wide. I 
tank yous for your kind attention. Boss? 

BOSS -- Owa next order a business is temple operations. Again, 
we'll hear from Vinnie da weasel. 

VINNIE- It is with a heavy heart that I report on temple 
operations, Boss. 

BOSS -- Save da editorial comments for later. What's today's 
take from da temple? 

VINNIE- Dats just it, Boss. We git nothin', zero, zip, nada!

BOSS -- It's dat Jesus punk again, ain't it? 

VINNIE- Dat is correct. Dis mornin' he came into da temple and 
drove out all da money changas and sacrifice sellas. He says to 
dem, he says, "You have made my faddas house a den off thieves."

BENNIE- Hey, I resemble dat remark. We're legit. We ain't no 
thieves. Who does he tink he is, anyways? Why, dat, lousy...

BOSS -- Sit down, Benny. I'll handle dis. We are respectable 
religious leaders. 

BENNIE- Yeah, but, Boss, we can't let dis guy take over owa 
turf. 

BOSS -- I said, I'll handle dis. We got us a stool pigeon inside 
his organization, who is at dis moment smoozin' with dis punk. 
By tomorrow mornin' Jesus will be hung out to dry, all nice an' 
legal. Den owa operation can return to normal. 

VINNIE- Whata you got in mind, Boss. Whata you gonna do? 

BOSS -- (chuckles) WE don't DO nothin'. (chuckles) We let the 
Romans do da dirty work. All we have to do is come up with a few 
eye witnesses, if you catch my drift (all laugh) 

VINNIE- You mean a frame up, Boss? 

BOSS -- Vinnie! We're da Sanhedrin. We would neva do dat. Would 
we fellas? 

BENNIE- Nah, we're da goodfellas. 

(all laugh) 

VINNIE- But, suppose sompum goes wrong, Boss? 

BOSS -- Well, lemme ask you dis, Vinnie. Once day nail him to da 
cross and put a spear into his heart, what's he gonna do, raise 
from da dead? 

(all laugh) 


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