KUNGFU   3'2m1f Three magi from the east, far east

(Door knock, door opens)

MARY -- Yes?

M1 -- (all magi have oriental accents) Ah, so, who are you?

MARY -- My name is Mary, mother of Jesus. Who are you?

M1 -- Ah, so, we are three magi from the East.

(gong sounds)

MARY --  Magi? From the East? You don't look like Arabs.

M2 -- Is the lowly woman making fun of us? Shall I remove some 
of her teeth. AH YAH!

M1 -- Perhaps not, Grasshopper. Let the woman explain. Many 
apologies, Madame, our young friend is a bit impatient.

MARY -- You said you were from the East. Arabia is to the east 
of here. 

M1 -- We are not from ALLABIA.


M2 -- The woman makes fun of us. Let me break something. One 
quick shot...

M1 -- No, grasshopper, she may know something about the baby we 

Young woman, we bling gleetings flom King HELLOD.


M2 -- Maybe just one kick to the knee cap?

M1 -- No, grasshopper.

Kind woman, is not King HELLOD the king of this country?

MARY -- Oh! You bring greetings from King Herod.

ALL MAGI -- Ah, so, King HELLOD. (gong)

M1 -- We seek the baby who is said to be the son of God.

MARY -- Oh, you're looking for my son, Jesus.

M1 -- No, I said the son of God.

MARY -- Oh, my son Jesus IS the son of God.

M1 -- But you have no wedding ring on your finger. How could 
could you give birth to the son of God?

MARY -- Oh, I am a virgin. The baby was conceived by the Holy 

ALL MAGI -- Right.

MARY -- No, really! Many shepherds have already come with 
greetings from angels confirming that my son Jesus is the son of 

ALL MAGI -- Right.

MARY -- So, why do you want to see my son?

M1 -- We bring gold and flank incense.

M2 -- And Mull.


M2 -- The lowly woman makes fun of us. Let me draw brood.

M1 -- No, no Grasshopper! Kind woman, what grasshopper is trying 
to say is that MULL is a burial spice which symborizes the death 
of the Son of God.

MARY -- Murr! You mean murr! 

ALL MAGI -- Ah, so. (gong)

M1 -- And Gold, which symborizes the baby's royalty.

And Flank Incense, which symborizes the baby's priesthood.

MARY -- So, you want to bring gifts to my son Jesus? 

ALL MAGI -- Ah, so. (gong)

MARY -- And you're not going to hurt him in any way, are you?

M2 -- Maybe just shot to the...

M1 -- We would never harm the son of God.

MARY -- Come in, then, gentlemen.

M1 -- Ah, so. There is the baby, Jesus!

M2 -- Ah, so. We bring gifts for you, Baby Jesus.

M1 -- Ah, so, we bring Gold and Frank Incense.

M2 -- Ah, so, and we bring Mmmmm.... Spice. (gong)

MARY --  Ah, could you leave the gong outside? 

(door close)

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