BACK BREAKER 4'2m?f A surfer witnesses Jesus miracle on Galilee OP -- (phone voice) 911 emergency. How may I help you? ED -- (teenager) Ah, hi, ah, I want to, like, report an emergency. OP -- And what kind of an emergency is it, young man? ED -- Ah, it's, ah, it's real serious. OP -- Is there any loss of life? ED -- Ah, oh, ah, nah, nobody croaked or nothin'. OP -- Then, is there a building on fire or a serious injury? ED -- Ah, let's see. Nope, nothing burnin' and I didn't break nothin' or nothin'. OP -- Then, why are you calling? Who is this? ED -- Ah, this is Eddy. OP -- Eddy. Eddy what? ED -- Oh, everybody around here just calls me Eddy. Some of the guys call me Eddy the goofy footer on account of I stand on my surf board with my right foot forward. OP -- Eddy! Why are you calling 911? ED -- Oh, ah, I just wanted to report this, ah, Geez, I don't know what to call it. OP -- Well, Eddy, can you just tell me what happened? ED -- Oh, ah, sure. Why not? Let's see. Where do I start? Ah, yeah, I was, ah, surfing on the Sea of Galilee. I just caught a good breaker, when I seen Jesus in a boat. OP -- Jesus, who's Jesus? ED -- Boy, you don't get out much, do you? Jesus is this guy who claims to be the son of God. OP -- I see. ED -- Yeah, well, anyways, lemme backup a little bit. See, this big storm came up real sudden like. OP -- So, you want to report a storm? ED -- Nah, it's all gone. He held up his arm and the storm just quit. OP -- So, that's it? You want to report that this guy...that this guy... ED -- Jesus. That's his name. I'm not usually so good with names, but I seen him before. Yo don't forget a dude like that. OP -- Alright, so, this person named Jesus held up his arm and the storm quit. ED -- Battabing, battaboom. The storm quits just like that. OP -- And that's it? That's the emergency? ED -- No, man! I gettin' to the emergency. Cool your jets, huh? OP -- Eddy, tell me what the emergency is. ED -- Well, see, I just caught this perfect point break wave that this storm stirred up. It had to be 10 or 12 feet on the face. OP -- Get to the emergency. ED -- Gees, dude, chill. I'm getting there as fast as I can. So, I'm on the face of this humungous wave, see, when all of a sudden it stops. OP -- You already told me that the storm stopped.... ED -- No, man, not the storm. The WAVE stopped. It fell like a rock out from under me, right when I was right in the middle of the longest tube ride of my life, it came down on top of me and fell out from under me. Baddabing, baddaboom. Gone. You catch my drift? OP -- Okay, so the wave stopped. ED -- Yeah, but I didn't. OP -- You didn't. You didn't what? ED -- Stop. I didn't stop. I just kept going. OP -- Will you please just get to the emergency? ED -- That's it. OP -- What? ED -- The sea became smooth as glass, all of a sudden like, but I was still surfing 35 miles an hour, then, I was FLYING at 35 miles an hour, then I was body surfing at 35 miles an hour. So, I did an EL ROLLO to slow me down. OP -- An EL ROLLO. ED -- A somersault. OP -- I still don't hear an emergency. ED -- Well, I do. It's still ringing in my ear. OP -- What. ED -- My surfboard hit me right in the side of the head. Rang my bell. OP -- At last, an emergency! So, you want me to send an ambulance to take you to the hospital? ED -- No, man! I want you to send a search party to find my surfboard. I ain't seen it since. OP -- You called 911 to find a surfboard? ED -- Heck ya! I paid 600 shekels for that board! It was narly, too. It had a blue wave air-brushed inside day-bright pink circle. It had three stags and a... (click, buzz) Hello? Š2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use: Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it. Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances. You may reproduce and distribute this script freely, but all copies must contain this copyright statement. http://www.bobsnook.org email: [email protected] BACK