AUDITION 3'2m?f Casting call for the role of Jesus' betrayer

(knock, knock)

a -- ...yes, yes, come in, young fella. I'm the casting director
for Yahweh productions. Nice to meet you Mr...Johnson.

b -- I'd like to read for the part of the head apostle.

a -- Oh, I'm sorry, but we've already cast a fisherman named
Peter for that role.

b -- Oh, really?! Are you sure it's not too late? I saw the role
of the head apostle as the arrogant loud-mouth. I could do
that role really well.

a -- I'm sorry, Peter is a perfect arrogant loud-mouth. I'm sure
Jesus will love him.

b -- Bummer. Well, what other roles are you casting, then? What
about the warm hearted sidekick apostle, the one who has to
write a gospel and several epistles?

a -- Sorry, we cast a fellow named John in that role. In fact,
we've cast all the apostles, except the role of the apostle
who betrays Jesus.

b -- Oh, you didn't describe him in your ad.

a -- It's not a big part, but it is pivotal to the plot.

b -- Does he have any lines that will end up in the Bible?

a -- As a matter of fact he does.

b -- Do you mind if I read for that role, then?

a -- Not at all. For some reason, nobody else wants the part.

(paper noise)

Here, read the highlighted response after the prostitute
pours expensive perfume on Jesus' feet.

b -- "Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the

a -- Good. Skip to page two, the conversation with temple

b -- "What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?"

a -- Good.

b -- All I get is one line per scene?

a -- Skip to page four, where the Jesus says, "woe to the man who
betrays the son of man"

b -- "Surely not I, Lord!" 

a -- Very good.

b -- "Surely not I, Lord?" Don't I have any lines longer than ten

a -- Now, the scene where you betray Jesus, page 6.

b -- "Greetings, Rabbi." 

a -- Excellent.

b -- "Greetings, Rabbi?" This guy is man of few words.

a -- And, finally, the scene where you go back to the temple and 
tell them you made a mistake by selling out the son of God. Page 

b -- "I have sinned, for I have betrayed innocent blood."

a -- Very good, you've got the part.

b -- No, thanks.

a -- But, you were made for the part.

b -- It says here that I go out and kill myself. No, thanks!

a -- Hold on, Mr.... Johnson. You know, less than half of the
apostles have speaking parts. This part is a real prize.

b -- No, thanks!

a -- How many people do you know who get a role as a friend of
the Messiah?

b -- Who'd be dumb enough to want the role that would land them
in hell for eternity? 

Goofy -- (door open) Hiuck, hiuck, is this where I get to be an

b -- There he is.

a -- I think we found our man.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.  email: [email protected]