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LIL03    23' LIL SHERLOCK episode: burglaries

INT MORNING WIDE: STOREFRONT DETECTIVE OFFICE

                            JUNIOR

(sits at his desk dressed in business suit with feet on
desk as Lily enters from upstairs, smiles)

Good morning, Lily.

                             LILY

Junior?! I think I must be in some sort of time warp. It's 8
o'clock in the morning and your in the office already. And
you're wearing a suit. What's up?

(sits)

                            JUNIOR

(smiles)

I'm giving you a ride to school today.

                             LILY

(stands)

What?!

                            JUNIOR

I knew you'd love it.

                             LILY

I don't love it! Is this your way of getting rid of me?! Because
if you registered me for school, the people at Juvee Hall will
see my name in the public records and I'm toast!

                            JUNIOR

So be it.

                             LILY

Please tell me this is a joke! Please tell me you didn't
register me for school and ruin everything!

                            HOLLIS

(enters from upstairs)

How is Junior going to ruin everything?

                             LILY

He registered me for school! Do you know what that means?

                            HOLLIS

It means you're going undercover.

                             LILY

(not listening)

If he registered me for school, the people at Juvee Hall will
see my name in the public records and I'm toast!

                            JUNIOR

So be it.

                            HOLLIS

Junior, stop it.

                            JUNIOR

She had it coming. She cut off my source of income. I could be
at a bass fishing tournament today. But nooooo! I had to work
today, because SHE cut me off!

                             LILY

What's going on? Is this a joke? He didn't really register me
for school today, did he?

                            HOLLIS

No. I did.

                             LILY

Mr Hollis!

                            HOLLIS

You didn't hear what I said, did you?

                             LILY

What did you say?

                            HOLLIS

I said you're going undercover.

                             LILY

But you registered me for school. That means...

                            HOLLIS

It's a private school. Your name will not appear in the public
records.

                             LILY

(sits)

Oh.

                            JUNIOR

Had you going there, didn't I? You had it coming. You cut off my
income, you pay the price.

                             LILY

So, what am I undercover for?

                            HOLLIS

Fairfield Academy is being blamed for a series of residential
burglaries.

                             LILY

I don't get it. Why would a school be blamed for residential
burglaries?

                            HOLLIS

All the burglaries were at the homes of students at the school.
A couple of the families are talking about suing the school for
aiding and abetting the burglaries or at least for a breach of
privacy.

                             LILY

So, the parents think a teacher or a staff member at the school
helped the burglars?

                            HOLLIS

That's what they're alleging, but so far it's all speculation.
The head master at the school hired us to get out in front of
this before they get slapped with a law suit.

                             LILY

So, I'm going undercover as a student.

                            HOLLIS

And Junior is going undercover as a substitute teacher.

                             LILY

(laughs)

Now that's funny.

                            JUNIOR

That's not funny! I have my teaching credential!

                             LILY

You're kidding.

                            HOLLIS

It was his mother's idea. She was a teacher. It took him six
years to earn a four year degree.

                            JUNIOR

Surely, you didn't expect me to go to school when there was six
feet of packed powder on the ski slopes!

                            HOLLIS

He never intended to teach school. It was just his way of
avoiding work. As soon as he graduated, he talked his mother
into letting him work here. And the beat goes on.

                             LILY

So, while I'm eves dropping on the students, Junior will be
doing the same for the teachers.

                            HOLLIS

(looks at watch)

Speaking of that. You've got to get moving. I layed out your
school uniform on your bed.

(points up)

                             LILY

I have to wear a uniform?!

                            HOLLIS

If you want to see Tyler Chamberlain.

                             LILY

(runs to stairs)

Tyler Chamberlain goes to that school?!

INT MORNING TWO-SHOT: JUNIOR'S CAR

(Lily is now dressed in school uniform)

                            JUNIOR

(turns car)

Here we are.

(looks around, steers car)

There it is: faculty parking.

                             LILY

(sinking out of sight)

Junior! You should have dropped me off a block away!

                            JUNIOR

(parks car)

Why?

(turns toward Lily)

Where did she go?

                             LILY

(now on the floor)

I'm down here.

                            JUNIOR

What are you doing down there?

                             LILY

If people see the new teacher with the new student, they'll get
suspicious. You go into the school first.

                            JUNIOR

Oh. Yeah.

(exits car)

See you after school.

(closes door)

EXT MORNING CLOSE-UP: FAIRFIELD ACADEMY FACULTY PARKING LOT

                             LILY

(opens door, sneaks out)

I wonder if there's a different entrance.

(closes door, revealing Tyler's knees)

                             TYLER

I'll show you.

                             LILY

(gasps, stands)

Tyler Chamberlain?!

                             TYLER

Speaking.

                             LILY

Ah, um, ah. I like your television show.

(smiles)

                             TYLER

You told me that the last time you saw me.

                             LILY

What are you doing in the faculty parking lot?

                             TYLER

I've been assigned to show you around the school.

(points, begins walking around school to front entrance)

                             LILY

(catches up, smiles)

Really?!

                             TYLER

Mr Hollis didn't tell you?

                             LILY

Maybe he did. But I don't remember anything he said after he
said your name....

(covers mouth)

You must think I'm a blithering idiot.

                             TYLER

Actually, I think you're one of the smartest people I've ever
met. I really looked forward to seeing you again. That's why Mom
and I asked for you.

                             LILY

You did?! You asked for me!? I don't understand.

                             TYLER

Ours was the first house to get burglarized. Mom was the first
one to suspect that the school was the connection to all the
burglaries. When she talked to the Head Master about it, Mom was
the one who recommended the Hollis Detective Agency because you
rescued me from the kidnappers.

                             LILY

I hope you didn't tell anyone about me, did you?!

                             TYLER

No, my mother warned me not to tell anyone that you were the one
who rescued me. She said that you were wanted by the police. Is
that true?

                             LILY

(nods)

I'm an orphan and I ran away from Juvee Hall. But Mr Hollis
hired a lawyer to make him my legal guardian. But that's not my
worst problem.

                             TYLER

What could be worse than being wanted by the police?

                             LILY

I don't have a detective's license, so, I couldn't legally do
the detective work on your kidnapping or the
"Back-Door-Bank-Robber".

                             TYLER

"Back-Door-Bank-Robber"?! You solved that one too?! That was
you?!

                             LILY

(finger to lips)

Please, Tyler, if anyone finds out about that, Mr Hollis could
lose his license!

                             TYLER

My lips are sealed.

(pantamimes the zipping of his lips)

                             LILY

So, tell me about these burglaries. Besides the school, what do
they all have in common?

                             TYLER

The burglars seemed to know when the family will not be home.

                             LILY

So, the first thing people thought was the families tell the
school when they're taking a vacation.

                             TYLER

Exactly.

                             LILY

But you hired us to investigate. So, you obviously don't think
the school is involved.

                             TYLER

The school COULD HAVE been involved in our case, because Mom and
I told them that we were going to Hollywood for two days. But a
couple of the other families were burglarized on one of those
Monday holidays when everyone was out of school.

                             LILY

How does that clear the school?

                             TYLER

Most of the families stayed home on those Mondays because one or
both parents didn't have the holiday off. But somehow the
burglars knew which families would leave town for the weekend.

(school bell rings)

(offers three text books and three notebooks)

We're running a little late. Here are the books for your first
three classes. Your first class is in Room 114 right here.

(points)

I'll meet you outside the room right after class.

INT MORNING WIDE: FAIRFIELD ACADEMY HALLWAY

                             LILY

(exits classroom, looks both ways, smiles when she sees Tyler
coming, opens mouth to speak)

                             GIRL1

(sings)

Hey, Tyler.

                             TYLER

Hey.

                             GIRL2

(sings)

Hey, Tyler. Thanks for the email.

                             TYLER


Hey. Your welcome.

(smiles)

Hi, Lily.

                             LILY

(smiles nervously)

Hi, Tyler.

                             TYLER

(points down hall, turns)

This way.

                             LILY

Tyler, what are the students saying about the burglaries?

                             TYLER

You ask a dozen kids, you get a dozen different suspects.

                             LILY

What do you think?

                             TYLER

I think the alarm company might be involved.

                             LILY

The alarm company. That sounds like a good place to start. Why
do you think they might be involved?

                             TYLER

So far, all of the burglarized houses have the same alarm
monitoring company. The alarm monitors would be the first ones
to know if the alarms on the houses are turned on and off and
which ones haven't had any activity all day. So, they would know
which houses are probably empty.

                             LILY

(pulls out cell phone, texts Hollis)

I'll put Mr Hollis on it right away.

                             TYLER

You make me feel like a full fledged detective, just like you.

                             LILY

(looks around, finger to lips)

Tyler!

                             TYLER

Oh, sorry. I was just saying you seem to have a knack for...
this business. I mean, you...

(looks both ways)

flattened those...

(whispers)

kidnappers. Why are you asking me about my working theory?

                             LILY

One of those girls back there thanked you for your email. I was
thinking that maybe the burglars got their inside information
from your emails.

                             TYLER

I wish it was that easy.

                             LILY

What do you mean?

                             TYLER

That girl who thanked me for the email... I never emailed her.

                             LILY

But how...

                             TYLER

The movie studio has staff people who answer my emails. And they
only give out information about my public appearances. The
weekend we went to Hollywood, it was to shoot a screen test for
my first movie. For security reasons the email staff never
mentions anything about when or where we do our shooting.

                             LILY

Well, that kills my theory.

INT NOON WIDE: FAIRFIELD ACADEMY LUNCH ROOM

(Lily is eating alone at a table near the food line as Tyler
comes off the line with a tray of food)

                             GIRL3

(sings)

Hey, Tyler.

                             TYLER

Hey.

                             GIRL4

(sings)

Hey, Tyler.

                             TYLER


Hey.

(smiles)

Hi, Lily.

(sits across from Lily)

                             LILY

(smiles nervously)

Hi, Tyler.

(nods toward girls)

Fans or girl friends?

                             TYLER


I don't have time for girl friends. Say, I have another idea
about the burglaries.

                             LILY

Fire away.

                             TYLER

When people go away for vacation, they usually call the
newspaper and stop delivery.

                             LILY

Another good lead!

(pulls out cell phone, texts Hollis)

                             TYLER

If you want, I could follow up to see if the kids know anything
about it...

                             LILY

Better not. Let Mr Hollis follow up. If the kids see you with
me, then they see you asking questions about the burglaries...

                             TYLER

I see where you're going with this. I'll let the detectives do
the detective work.

                             LILY

(pockets phone)

It's a good lead. Mr Hollis should be able to confirm it before
school is out this afternoon. Keep the leads coming, Detective
Tyler!

EXT AFTERNOON WIDE: FAIRFIELD ACADEMY MAIN ENTRANCE

(Tyler stands on stairs as two girls exit school and pass by
followed by Lily)

                             GIRL5

(sings)

Hey, Tyler.

                             TYLER

Hey.

                             GIRL6

(sings)

Hey, Tyler.

                             TYLER

Hey.

(smiles)

Hi, Lily.

                             LILY

Hi, Tyler.

(Lily and Tyler stroll to parking lot)

Say, I looked at your website and your Facebook page during
computer class.

                             TYLER

You'd better be careful of that. Mr Campbell will send you to
the office if he sees the internet on your screen without
permission.

                             LILY

I was careful. Do you update your own web pages?

                             TYLER

No. It's the same thing as the emails. The movie studio has full
time employees who update those pages. Why were you on my
Facebook page? Were you writing me a love letter?

                             LILY

Tyler! You're embarrassing me! No. I... I... now you've got me
flustered. Why was I on your facebook page? Um. Oh, because I
was looking for indicators that you were leaving town to go to
Hollywood.

                             TYLER

I could have saved you the trouble. The studio's staff have a
policy of never giving out my private information.

                             LILY

Well, there's another theory shot down in flames!

(looks around)

Where on earth is he?!

                             TYLER

Who?

                             LILY

Junior! He left without me!

(pulls out cell phone, pokes buttons)

I wonder if he...

                             TYLER

I'll save you the trouble.

                             LILY

(pokes button)

What?

                             TYLER

I saw Junior hitting on my social studies teacher this
afternoon. I'll bet he gave her a ride home instead.

                             LILY

I should have known! He was supposed to be gathering intell
about the burglaries!

(pokes buttons on phone, to phone)

Mr Hollis, have you heard from Junior? He left without me!

(sighs)

He never told me! I never heard a word from him all day!

That so-called SOURCE of his... Tyler just told me that Junior
was hitting on her. It had nothing to do with the burglaries.

Did Junior come up with any real leads on the burglaries today?

I didn't think so.

No, thank you, Mr Hollis. I'll just take the bus home.

Okay, I'll check my text messages. See you at home.

(pokes buttons, reads screen)

                             TYLER

Sorry about your ride.

(points)

My mom is here. She'd love to give you a ride. Come on.

(turns, walks)

                             LILY

(distracted reading messages, turns and catches up with Tyler,
points to phone)

Mr Hollis eliminated the alarm company as a suspect in the
burglaries.

                             TYLER

How?

                             LILY

He said that the burglar alarms went off at all of the houses
that were burglarized and the police were called right away.

                             TYLER

I see. If the alarm company was in on the burglaries, the
burglars would have disabled the alarms or the company would
have delayed calling the police.

                             LILY

That's what Mr Hollis said.

(pokes button on phone, read screen)

                             TYLER

What about the newspaper deliveries?

                             LILY

(points to phone)

Mr Hollis said that half of the victims didn't stop their
newspaper deliveries on the days of the burglaries. They had
friends or neighbors pick up their papers while they were out of
town.

                             TYLER

So, what are we left with?

                             LILY

(pauses)

Tyler, what did the burglars take from your house?

                             TYLER

My Ipod, my PSP, the old cell phone I used before I got my
Iphone, some video game DVDs and the money my grandma sent me
for my birthday.

                             LILY

That's all? No computers? No televisions? No TIVOs?

                             TYLER

No.

                             LILY

That's odd!

                             TYLER

My Mom thought so too. We just bought a brand new 60-inch
television. But the burglars didn't even try to pull it off the
wall.

                             LILY

Very interesting.

                             TYLER

What do you think?

                             LILY

(pauses)

I think kids did it.

                             TYLER

Why?

                             LILY

Two reasons: First, all of the burglaries are within about a
mile of each other. That means the burglars were on bikes or on
foot. That means they're too young to drive a car or truck. That
means they had to take things they could carry in their pockets
or under their jackets.

                             TYLER

And the second reason?

                             LILY

They took things kids like. They can easily sell the stolen
goods to other kids at school or to neighbor kids.

                             TYLER

You could be right. But that brings us back to the question: how
did they know we wouldn't be home?

                             LILY

(pauses)

Facebook and Twitter?

                             TYLER

But my Facebook page doesn't give out that kind of information.

                             LILY

They don't. But SOMEBODY in your school might.

                             TYLER

(pauses, snaps fingers, points)

Brittany Caldwell!

                             LILY

Keep talking.

                             TYLER

She's the school's gossip columnist. She blogs about everything
and everybody!

                             LILY

I think you might have something there! Did you say you have an
iPhone?

                             TYLER

Yes. Why?

                             LILY

You have access to the internet. Can you look up her blogs?

                             TYLER

(pulls out phone, pokes screen)

Sure.

(offers screen)

Here she is.

                             LILY

Do you have the ability to do a word search on her blogs?

                             TYLER

Sure. What words?

(readies)

                             LILY

Try the word vacation.

                             TYLER

(pokes screen, reads)

Holy socks! The last three victims!

(points)

Vacation. Vacation. Vacation!

                             LILY

I'm interested in victims that haven't been robbed yet.

                             TYLER

(reads, shakes head

Nothing more recent here.

                             LILY

How about the key words for YOUR burglary.

                             TYLER

We weren't on vacation, so, of course we're not listed here. We
were out of town on business.

(excited, pokes screen)

out... of... town...

                             LILY

Now you're thinking like a detective!

                             TYLER

Here's the rest of the victims! Out of town. Out of Town.

(points)

Here's her blog on my trip to Hollywood! Out of town!

                             LILY

Any out-of-towns who haven't been robbed yet?

                             TYLER

Yes. Brittany blogged about two families who are out of town
TODAY.

(points)

This family is at a funeral.

(points)

This family is visiting a sick grandmother.

(They approach Gwen's minivan)

                             GWEN

Hi, Lily! It's nice to see you again!

                             LILY

Hi, Mrs Chamberlain. It's nice to see you too.

                             TYLER

Mom, can you give Lily a ride home?

                             GWEN

Of course!

                             LILY

I changed my mind.

                             GWEN

It's not an inconvenience, dear.

                             LILY

What I mean is, I think we have a break in the burglary case.

                             GWEN

You do?

                             LILY

Yes. Can you give me a ride to your neighborhood?

                             GWEN

My neighborhood? Sure. Why?

(Tyler and Lily enter van)

                             LILY

Because your neighborhood is where all the burglaries happened.

INT AFTERNOON WIDE: GWEN CHAMBERLAIN'S MINIVAN

                             LILY

(holds phone to ear)

Come on, Junior!

                             TYLER

Why are you calling Junior?

                             LILY

(clicks off phone)

He turned his cell phone off. It's going to voice mail.

(contemplates)

                             TYLER

Why are you calling him?

                             LILY

Huh? Oh. According to that girls blogs, there are two families
away from home today. I want Junior to stake-out one of the
houses tonight while I stake-out the other.

                             TYLER

I could do a stake-out, couldn't I, Mom?

                             GWEN

I'm not so sure. You have homework.

                             TYLER

Mom!

                             LILY

It's no problem really. According to the pattern, the burglaries
all happen after dark. We have plenty of time to do homework.

                             TYLER

That means we get to do surveillance, just like real detectives!

                             GWEN

Tyler! That could be dangerous!

                             LILY

It's just surveillance, Mrs Chamberlain. We both have cell
phones. We'll just call the police as soon as the burglar shows
up.

INT NIGHT WIDE: STOREFRONT DETECTIVE OFFICE

(Lily enters)

                            HOLLIS

(points to television)

Lily, come look. Our burglary case is on the evening news.

                             LILY

I know. The news vans were at the crime scene when I left.

                            HOLLIS

The reporter said that the burglar was a student at Fairfield
Academy, just like you predicted.

                             LILY

Yeah, but I kept my name out of it.

                            HOLLIS

He said that the burglar got his inside information from another
student's blog, just like you predicted.

                             LILY

Yeah, but I kept my name out of it.

                           HOLLIS

He said that Tyler Chamberlain made a citizen's arrest.

                             LILY

Well, I think I'll go to bed now.

(turns)

                            HOLLIS

It wasn't really Tyler who made the arrest, was it?

                             LILY

(stops, doesn't turn)

How do you know?

                            HOLLIS

Because the cops took the poor kid to the hospital after they
made the arrest.

                             LILY

(turns)

It wasn't my fault, Mr Hollis. I told him not to run. But he ran
anyway.

                            HOLLIS

Tell me what happened.

                             LILY

We had a plan all worked out, but, you know how things are. They
don't always go as planned.

EXT NIGHT WIDE: STAKE-OUT HOUSE BUSHES

                             LILY

(faint buzz, pulls out phone, whispers)

This is Lily.

EXT NIGHT SPLIT-SCREEN: ALTERNATE STAKE-OUT BUSHES

                             TYLER

(whispers)

This is so cool! I'm doing surveillance! Just like a real
detective!

                             LILY

Do you see anything yet?

                             TYLER

Not a thing. How about you?

                             LILY

Nothing yet. Surveillance isn't all that exciting.

(sound cue: twig breaks)

Hold on! Someone is coming!

                             TYLER

(turns)

I'll be there in a minute!

                             LILY

(sneaking to corner of house)

No. Stay put. It might be nothing.

(sound cue: breaking glass, alarm sounds for remainder of scene)

Tyler. This is it. The burglar is here. Hang up the phone and
call 911.

(peaks into windows)

                             TYLER

(runs)

I'm on my way!

                             LILY

Tyler! We promised your mom that we would just call 911 when we
saw the burglar!

                             TYLER

I'm not missing this! I'm on my way.

                             LILY

Tyler!

                             TYLER

According to the cops, the burglar always breaks a window to get
in, but he always exits the house by the back door. we'll nail
him when he comes out.

                             LILY

Tyler!

(running, pokes phone, phone to ear)

Yeah, I'd like to report a burglary in progress...

INT NIGHT WIDE: VICTIM'S HOUSE

(Alarm sounding, Matthew, holding flashlight, enters kid's
bedroom, opens drawer, pulls out hand-held game, pockets it,
opens drawer, pulls out DVD, pockets it, explores shelves,
pockets iPod. Opens drawer of night stand, pockets cell phone
and two flash drives. Pops open DVD drawer in computer, pockets
DVD. Exits bedroom, turns toward back door, shines light on Lily
in the open doorway, gasps)

                             LILY

I'm sorry. I can't let you leave until the police get here.

(closes door behind her)

(Matthew turns, exits frame running)

(Jumpcut to front door. Matthew turns corner, flashes light on
door, illuminates Lily)

I'm placing you under citizen's arrest. Don't run again.

(Matthew exits frame running)

(Lily exits frame in opposite direction)

I told you not to run!

(jump cut to open door to kitchen. Matthew approaches. Lily
jumps into doorway, jumps, grasps door frame, kicks Matthew in
chest with both feet, he tumbles backward in a somersault over a
tea cart spilling the contents noisily)

What part of DON'T RUN didn't you understand?

(Matthew, scrambles to his feet, exits frame running)

(Jump cut to back door. As Matthew approaches, Lily sends a
skateboard into his path, he steps on it and feet slip out from
under him, he grabs a doyly and pulls it off a nearby tabletop,
pulling its nicknacks down on top of him, finally a big vase
smashes noisily. Red and blue blinking lights appear in the
windows.)

                             TYLER

(enters back door, shines light on Matthew)

Looks like I'm too late.

                             LILY

You're just in time to make a citizen's arrest.

(exits frame stealthily)

                             TYLER

I know him! That's Matthew Dawson. He goes to my school!

(looks around)

Where did she go?

(shrugs, turns to Matthew)

Matthew Dawson, I'm placing you under citizen's arrest.

INT NIGHT WIDE: STOREFRONT DETECTIVE OFFICE

                             LILY

The important thing is that we cleared Fairfield Academy of all
responsibility. Right? That's what they paid us for, right?

                            HOLLIS

Lily, I don't know how you do it. But the Hollis Detective
Agency always comes out smelling like a rose whenever you're
involved.

(points to television)

Tyler Chamberlain gave us all the credit for solving the case ON
CAMERA. Our phone has been ringing off the hook.

(phone rings, Hollis reaches)

Go to bed. You have school tomorrow.

                             LILY

I don't go to school.

                            HOLLIS

You do now. Fairfield Academy gave you a full scholarship.

                             LILY

(runs up stairs singing)

I get to go to school with Tyler Chamberlain!

                            HOLLIS

(picks up phone)

Hollis Detective Agency.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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