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WORTH    7'?m2f Giving, self-worth, money, tithing

AMY -- (a bag-lady, enters slowly pushing overloaded grocery
cart or carrying several grocery bags)

LIZ -- (enters opposite wearing business suit, carrying
briefcase)

AMY -- (holds out hand) Hey, lady, you got any spare change?

LIZ -- (no hesitation) No. No change. No money at all. (crosses
by Amy)

AMY -- What about the twenty-two dollars in your wallet and the
thirty-seven cents in your pocket?

LIZ -- (freezes, cocks head, long pause, turns) How do you know
how much money I have? Have you been following me?!

AMY -- How about it? You got any spare change? (holds out hand)

LIZ -- (pauses) No. (turns to exit)

AMY -- Money is a big issue in your life, isn't it?

LIZ -- (freezes, cocks head, long pause, turns) Look, I didn't
just fall off the turnip truck. The reason you know how much
money I have in my pocket is probably because you saw me buy a
cup of coffee at Starbucks. But you don't know anything about
me. You couldn't possibly know my attitude about money! (turns
to exit)

AMY -- I know that money is the reason you don't go to church.

LIZ -- (freezes, cocks head, long pause, turns) What?!

AMY -- Would you like me to repeat it?

LIZ -- No. I heard what you said. Do I know you?

AMY -- I doubt it.

LIZ -- How did you know that I avoid going to church?

AMY -- Am I wrong?

LIZ -- No. As a matter of fact, I do avoid going to church.

AMY -- Because every time you go...

LIZ -- They talk about money...

AMY -- And giving...

LIZ -- And tithing...

AMY -- The church has enough money...

LIZ -- That's right. They shouldn't be begging from the pulpit.

AMY -- Money is at the center of your life, isn't it?

LIZ -- Of course. Money is the score card. Money tells everybody
how well you play the game of life.

AMY -- So, naturally, if you give any of your money away...

LIZ -- There's less money on your score card.

AMY -- What do you suppose would happen if you suddenly lost all
your money? How much would you be worth?

LIZ -- Don't be silly. I've got my money spread out in a half
dozen investments. No way I could lose ALL my money.

AMY -- (points at Liz's pocket) Answer your phone.

LIZ -- My phone is not r.... (removed cell phone) Well, I'll
be... it's ringing. (puts phone to ear) Hello. Yes, this is
Elizabeth Johnson. Yes, I have my checking account there. What
do you mean I'm overdrawn?! I just made a big deposit! Cover two
checks? I'm telling you there's plenty of money in there to
cover ALL the checks I've written! No, I don't have time to drop 
everything and come over there! How about if you just transfer 
some money from my savings account until I can.... What do you 
mean I have no money in my savings account?! Well, I suppose I 
could liquidate some of my investments if I HAD to, but I'm 
telling you, there's been some kind of mistake! Listen, I don't 
have time right now to run all over the city covering your 
mistakes. Why don't you just cover the overdrafts with my credit 
card. You have my number on file. What do you mean my credit 
cards have been cancelled?! Seize my house? You can't just seize 
my house! And my car?! What on earth is going on here?! I had 
plenty of money. Creditors?! What creditors?! Tax lien?! I don't 
owe any taxes!

This is just ridiculous! It looks like I'll just have to cash in
some of the certificates from my safe deposit box until I can
get this whole mess straightened out! Somebody seized my safe
deposit box?! That can't be! I told you, I don't owe any taxes
and all my bills are paid. I tell you what. I'll phone my broker
and have him liquidate some of my investments. Gone?! What do
you mean they're gone?! Who seized them?! Well, don't they need
a court order to seize my assets?! Where did they get it from?
When I go to court. Why would I go to court? Criminal charges?!
Well, I'm sure my lawyer could explain it to me, if I had a
lawyer. But what lawyer is going to represent me if I can't pay
him?!

This is ridiculous! Listen, I'm going to cancel my business
meetings and come right over. (turns back, gasps)

AMY -- Is that your car they're towing away?

LIZ -- (shouts) Hey, that's my car! (sighs) This is
unbelievable! I'm penniless! All my money and possessions are
gone!

AMY -- Well, maybe you can borrow some money from your friends.

LIZ -- I don't have any friends. I've been so busy accumulating
wealth, I haven't had time for friends.

AMY -- Looks like there's not much left on your score card.

LIZ -- Score card. (straightens) Score card! You were just
asking me how much I would be worth if I lost everything.

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- And now I've lost everything.

AMY -- That's the way it looks.

LIZ -- You also knew how much money I had in my pockets.

AMY -- Yes, I did, didn't I?

LIZ -- Do you have anything to do with this? (offers phone)

AMY -- So, what do you think? How much are you worth if you lose
everything?

LIZ -- Nothing. I could kill myself and nothing would be lost.
You know, that's really pathetic. If I killed myself right now,
within a couple of weeks, noone would even know I'd been alive.

AMY -- Isn't that the way it is for everybody?

LIZ -- No. There are universities and hospital wings named after
people. Those people are remembered for centuries sometimes.

AMY -- So, what's the difference between them and you?

LIZ -- Well, I suppose one difference is that they gave....
(pauses)

AMY -- Are you alright?

LIZ -- Yes. For the first time in a long time, I'm seeing more
clearly. The difference between me and the people who are
remembered is that they GAVE. Even Mother Theresa, who was as
poor as a church mouse, GAVE. She gave her time and her effort.
What a waste my life has been. In just a matter of moments all
of my life's efforts could be wiped out because I keep score
with money. But money doesn't last. Giving is what lasts. No
wonder the churches keep preaching about giving.

(reaches into pocket) Here. (offers coins)

AMY -- Oh. Thanks.

LIZ -- (points offstage) Come with me. I'll buy you something to
eat with my last twenty-two dollars.

AMY -- Oh, that won't be necessary.

LIZ -- Sure it is. That's only thirty-seven cents. What can you
buy for thirty seven cents?

AMY -- Well, you just bought a whole new life with this.

LIZ -- I don't understand.

AMY -- For thirty-seven cents, you just increased your
self-worth.

LIZ -- I still don't understand.

AMY -- You just learned that a persons self-worth is not related
to his net-worth. You are valuable to God merely because you
were made in God's image. So, my work here is done. (exits)

LIZ -- Where are you going? What work is done. (turns) Hey,
there's my car! My car is back. (dials phone) Hello, this is
Elizabeth Johnson. I'd like to check on my bank balance. Really?
And there are no liens on any of my accounts? No. Of course not. 
(points) She was just trying to get my attention. Who? Oh, 
nothing. (exiting) Listen, what church do you go to? Oh, that's 
near my house. And what time is the service on Sunday?

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