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WORKS4   5'?m4f Salvation: grace vs works, ministry

AMY -- (enters wearing white tunic, tugging Liz by the elbow)
Right this way. The ceremony is about to begin.

LIZ -- (enters wearing pajamas, bathrobe and slippers) Wait a
minute! You can't just kidnap a person right out of his bed! I
have rights, you know!

SUE -- (follows wearing white tunic) She doesn't have a clue.

LIZ -- About what?

AMY -- She will soon. Let's get started. (steps up to podium)

LIZ -- What am I supposed to know? (looks around) Where am I,
anyway?

AMY -- (with announcer's voice) Ladies and gentlemen, we're here
in judgement of... in judgement of... (snaps fingers)

SUE -- Elizabeth Johnson.

AMY -- Oh, yes. We're here in judgement of Elizabeth Johnson.

LIZ -- Me?! What did I do?!

SUE -- (exiting) We'll see.

AMY -- (shouts) Bring in the sins and omissions of Elizabeth
Johnson. (exits)

LIZ -- (follows) Sins and omissions?! How could you possibly
know anything about my sins and omissions!?

SUE -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes, driving Liz back
across the stage) Stand over there out of the way, please.

AMY -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes) Yes, please, the
defendant in these precedings are not allowed to interfere.

LIZ -- Defendant?! (approaches) I'm a defendant?! Say, what are
those? (points to boxes)

SUE -- We call them boxes. (stacks boxes on floor near podium)

LIZ -- No. I mean, what's in the boxes?

SUE -- I thought we covered that. Didn't we cover that?

AMY -- We covered that. (stacks boxes on floor near podium)
These are your sins and omissions. (grabs Liz by the
shoulders, moves her out of the way, exits)

SUE -- Sins and omissions are things you did wrong and things
you were supposed to do that you didn't do. (exits)

LIZ -- (follows) I know what sins and omissions are. But why are
they in boxes? And why are you stacking them?

SUE -- I thought we covered that.

AMY -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes, driving Liz back
across the stage) Stand over there out of the way, please.
(stacks boxes on floor near podium)

SUE -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes) Yes, please, the
defendant in these precedings are not allowed to interfere.
(stacks boxes on floor near podium, exits)

LIZ -- Let me see if I can summarize my situation here.

AMY -- (grabs Liz by the shoulders, moves her out of the way,
exits) You can do all the summarizing you want. Just do it from
over here.

LIZ -- (follows) As near as I can tell, you're standing
judgement of me, right?

SUE -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes, driving Liz back
across the stage) I thought we covered that. Didn't we cover
that? (stacks boxes on floor near podium)

AMY -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes) We covered that.
(stacks boxes on floor near podium)

LIZ -- No, but you don't understand. When a person is judged, a
person is usually DEAD. But as you can see, I'm not dead.
(points) That sure is a lot of boxes!

AMY -- (grabs Liz by the shoulders, moves her out of the way,
exits) We're not done yet. We have more in the back room, if
you'll just stay out of the way. (exits)

SUE -- (exiting) Didn't we just tell her it's against the rules 
for her to interfere?

LIZ -- (follows) What I'm trying to say is that it's probably a
little premature for you to be weighing my sins and
omissions....

AMY -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes, driving Liz back
across the stage)

LIZ -- Are you sure all those sins and omissions belong to me?

AMY -- This is Heaven. We don't make mistakes in Heaven. (stacks
boxes on floor near podium, grabs Liz by the shoulders, moves
her out of the way, exits) If we made mistakes, Heaven wouldn't
be perfect, would it?

SUE -- (reenters carrying a stack of boxes) Well, this is the
last of them.  (stacks boxes on floor near podium, exits)

LIZ -- (follows) Wait a minute. What about the boxes with the
GOOD deeds?

AMY -- (reenters, driving Liz back across the stage) No more
boxes.

LIZ -- Are you sure?

AMY -- (grabs Liz by the shoulders, moves her out of the way,
exits) As sure as I am that you are still in the way.

SUE -- (reenters carrying small envelope) No more boxes.

LIZ -- I thought we covered that.

SUE -- But we found some good deeds.

LIZ -- You did?! Where?!

SUE -- (offers envelope) In here.

LIZ -- (takes envelope) That's all?! This is it?!

AMY -- It's not our fault you were heavy on the sins and light
on the good deeds.

LIZ -- Oh. Yeah. I suppose.... So, what are you saying? Are you
saying I can't stay?

AMY -- The truth is WE can't stay. (exits)

SUE -- Got to go. (exits singing) Elizabeth! Time to wake up!

MOM -- (enters wearing pajamas, bathrobe and slippers, sings)
Elizabeth! Time to wake up!

LIZ -- (yawns) Oh, Mom. Am I glad to see you.

MOM -- (sings) Time to get ready for church, darling.

LIZ -- I dreamed I was in Heaven and they were weighing my sins
against my good deeds.

MOM -- That's a silly dream, dear. You trusted Jesus to pay for
all of your sins. (exiting) There would be nothing left to
weigh.

LIZ -- (finishes yawning) Yeah but it seemed so real. (looks at
boxes, walks around them, backs away from them looking at
envelope, exits shouting) Mom, can we sign me up for a ministry
at church?

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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