VIDEO    3'?m7f Salvation, Heaven, sin, forgiveness, judgement

(four non-speaking actors enter singly carrying video tape
cartridges, cross to far exit, stand single file in line facing

AMY -- (enters carrying video tape, crosses, stands at end of

LIZ -- (enters backward, carrying video tape) What happened?!
Where am I?! (crosses) Excuse me? Excuse me? Can you tell me
where on earth I am?

AMY -- (turns) You're not.

LIZ -- I'm not... what?

AMY -- You're not on earth.

LIZ -- That's very funny.

AMY -- Yeah. I'm a riot. (turns)

LIZ -- Why are you carrying that video tape?

AMY -- (turns) Same reason you are.

LIZ -- (lifts tape in surprise) Oh, I have one too. What on
earth is going on here?

AMY -- I think we already discussed that.

LIZ -- I'm sorry, you lost me.

AMY -- I told you. You're not on earth.

LIZ -- Don't be ridiculous! Of course I'm on.... (pauses, looks
around) Oh, no! Don't tell me...

AMY -- I don't know what good it would do. You don't listen when
I tell you anyway.

LIZ -- (points to exit past the front of the line) Listen, just
so we're all on the same page, that big shiny white round
door... That wouldn't just happen to be the pearly gate, would

AMY -- You're really good at deduction.... for someone so dense.

LIZ -- And that person beside the pearly gate, that wouldn't
just happened to be Saint Peter, would it?

AMY -- Two in a row. A marvel of deduction.

LIZ -- So, this is... Heaven.

AMY -- One more correct answer and you win a free toaster.

LIZ -- That means I'm.... dead.

AMY -- Genius. Sheer genius.

LIZ -- So, what's this (lifts tape) video tape for?

AMY -- Heaven has gone high tech. No more angels writing down
your sins with quill pens on parchment. Today's Heaven stresses
high productivity.

LIZ -- So, all the sins I've ever committed are recorded on this

AMY -- In living color. When you get to the front of the line
you just hand your tape to Saint Peter.

LIZ -- Speaking of the line, why is the line moving so slowly?

AMY -- Saint Peter plays your video tape all the way through
before he decides if you belong in Heaven. I don't know about
you, but my sins will play for about three days, and that's the
edited version.

LIZ -- Mine too.

SUE -- (enters from front of the line carrying a tape eraser
with a long cord) Elizabeth Johnson? Elizabeth Johnson? Is
Elizabeth Johnson in line?

LIZ -- Yes. I'm Elizabeth Johnson.

SUE -- (approaches) I'm sorry, there's been a mistake.

LIZ -- A mistake?! You mean I don't belong here?

SUE -- That's right. I'm sorry.

LIZ -- So, I'm really supposed to go to....

SUE -- May I have your video tape, please?

LIZ -- (offers tape) Sure. What are you....

SUE -- (takes tape) According to our record, you entrusted your
future into the hands of the Lord Jesus. (rubbing tape eraser
over tape cartridge)

LIZ -- What are you doing?!

SUE -- As far as the Lord is concerned, your sins don't exist.
I'm erasing your tape. There. (offers tape)

LIZ -- (takes tape) So, that means I don't have to worry about
going down to....

SUE -- You won't even have to stand in line. This line is for
people who reject Jesus' on earth. (exits) You can bypass the
line and go straight into Heaven.

LIZ -- (follows) I can?

AMY -- Hey, would you like to swap tapes?

LIZ -- (exits) No thanks.

AMY -- That one is smarter than she looks.

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