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ULCERS   3'?m2f Discipleship, ministry, faith, works, stress

AMY -- (enters, points to imaginary elevator, C)

LIZ -- (follows holding own abdomen) Where are you taking me?
You said you were going to take me to a drug store. This isn't
the drug store.

AMY -- I didn't say I was taking you to a drug store. I said I
was going to help you with your ulcer. (pushes button next to
imaginary elevator)

LIZ -- Oh, I get it. This must be a medical building and you're
taking me up to see a doctor.

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- (enters elevator toward upstage, turns) Wrong Again.

LIZ -- (enters elevator toward upstage, turns) This isn't a
medical building?

AMY -- No. This office building belongs to a bank.

LIZ -- How is a bank going to help me with my ulcer?

AMY -- Push the button for the second floor. (points to
imaginary button near door)

LIZ -- (pushes imaginary elevator button, steps back) Okay. So,
what's on the second floor that's going to help me with my
ulcer?

AMY -- Actually, there's nothing at all on the second floor that
will be any help for your ulcer.

LIZ -- Then what are we doing here?

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- We're here to learn about ulcers.

LIZ -- But you said this is a bank building. What do bankers
know about ulcers?

AMY -- Not very much. We're going to learn about ulcers from the
elevator.

LIZ -- The doors are open. (points to imaginary open door)
Aren't we getting out?

AMY -- No. We're going up to the twenty-third floor.

LIZ -- Then why did you have me push two?

AMY -- You'll see. Push twenty three.

LIZ -- (pushing button) You're not making any sense and my ulcer
is not getting any better. (steps back)

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- Say, I don't think you pushed the button hard enough.

LIZ -- Sure I did. (points) The doors are closed, the light is
on and we're going up.

AMY -- I know. But the twenty-third floor is twenty-three times
higher than the second floor. Shouldn't you push the button
twenty-three times harder?

LIZ -- Don't be silly! That's not how elevators work! Just
because it's twenty-three times higher doesn't mean.... Oh.

AMY -- What's the matter?

LIZ -- Why didn't you tell me?

AMY -- Tell you what?

LIZ -- That I was working and worrying harder than I had to.

AMY -- I tried. We all tried. But you were so self-involved that
noone could get through.

LIZ -- No wonder I have an ulcer. I have been working
twenty-three times harder than I have to. This is really
embarrassing. I hope there were no non-Christians watching.

AMY -- What about the young Christians who were looking up to
you as an example of Christian ministry?

LIZ -- What have I done?! You know, I was so busy I didn't even
see this coming. As my ministry grew bigger, I didn't even think
about what I was doing. I just assumed that bigger ministry
meant more work and more worries. But if I'm doing the Lord's
work, it's more like pushing elevator buttons, isn't it?

AMY -- That's the way I see it.

LIZ -- I've got to spend less time working and worrying and
more time on my knees in prayer.

(sound cue: ding)

AMY -- Well, I suppose the elevator has taught you what you 
need to know about ulcers. Why don't we go back down to the 
lobby? (points to buttons)

LIZ -- No. Going back down means going back to work. It's time
to smell the roses. (exits elevator) Let's go out to the
observation deck and enjoy the view.

AMY -- (follows) Okay.

LIZ -- (exiting) You know, my ulcer is feeling better already.

AMY -- (follows) I'll send you my bill in the mail.
2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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