BACK

TRANSLAT 2'1m1f The Bible was misunderstood, not mistranslated

Rev -- Okay, that's our Bible study for tonight. Good night, 
everybody. (moves toward exit)

Oldy -- (stands in audience) Just a minute there, young man. 

Rev -- Yes, hello! Did you enjoy the Bible study?

Oldy -- What's that? Speak up. I can't hear you.

Rev -- I said, did you enjoy the Bible study?

Oldy -- Fine, thank you. Young man, I want to talk to you about 
that new fangled Bible of yours.

Rev -- Oh, you mean the New International Version, the NIV.

Oldy -- I don't care what you call it, it's gotta go.

Rev -- But, why? It's a perfectly good....

Oldy -- I'm surprised that you haven't been inundated with 
complaints. I can't believe I'm the only person who caught your 
glaring errors.

Rev -- What glaring errors?

Oldy -- I found three errors in Joshua 1:8 alone. Look here.

Rev -- You wrote them down?

Oldy -- I wrote them exactly as I heard them. And I quote: "Do 
not let this book of ALLA depart from your mouth."

Young man, since when do Christians and Jews refer to our Lord 
as ALLA. I have heard him called Yahweh, Jehovah, even Adonai, 
but never ALLA.

Rev -- The Law.

Oldy -- What kind of a translation is this anyw.... Did you say 
something?

Rev -- The Law. It says "The Law".

Oldy -- What are you talking about?

Rev -- Joshua 1:8 reads, "Do not let this book of THE LAW depart 
from you mouth."

Oldy -- Oh. Well, that's not all, listen to this:

"Medicate on it day and night."

No wonder we have a drug problem in this country, when your new 
fangled translation tells everybody to MEDICATE on it day and 
night.

Rev -- Meditate.

Oldy -- That's what it says, MEDICATE on it day and night.

Rev -- No, no, the NIV says MEDITATE, MEDITATE on it day and 
night.

Oldy -- Oh. Well, here's the worst one. Listen to this, and I 
quote:

"...then you will be prostitutes."

Try to explain that one away, young man.

Rev -- You got that from Joshua 1:8?

Oldy -- I wrote it down word for word exactly the way I heard 
it.

Rev -- Let me look that up. (opens Bible) Joshua 1:8:

"....meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful 
to do everything written in it... then you will be PROSPEROUS 
and successful."

The word is PROSPEROUS.

Oldy -- Oh.

I still think you should use the King James Version.

Rev -- Oh? Why?

Oldy -- If the King James Version was good enough for Jesus, 
it's good enough for me. (exits) Good night, young man. 

Rev -- (exits) Good night.


2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK