SURVIVOR 4'?m7f Judge not, legalism, salvation, eternal security

(all characters enter in casual clothes, carrying a sheet of
parchment, stand in semicircle facing audience, as each
character speaks she holds up the parchment with a hand-printed

PAT -- Okay, according to the rules, it's time to kick someone
off the island. Who wants to start?

LIZ -- I will. My vote goes to... Susan. There is no way she's a
Christian, because she was never baptized by immersion. No way
she could be saved without immersion in water.

PAT -- I too voted for... Susan. But not for the same reason. I
voted for her because she misses at least one church service
every month. No way she's a Christian if she misses church that

MAY -- I voted for... Liz....

LIZ -- Me?! How can you vote for me?!

MAY -- I'm sorry. It was a difficult decision. Liz believes in
the Big Bang theory. There is no way she could be a Christian
and believe in an old earth.

JAN -- I voted for Liz also.

LIZ -- And I thought you were a friend.

JAN -- I'm sorry. You're a really nice person. But we have to
vote off the person we think is not a true Christian. Liz
doesn't give one-tenth of her income to the church. There is no
way she's a Christian if she doesn't tithe.

DOT -- I'm voting for... Susan.

SUE -- Me?! You told me you were voting for Liz.

DOT -- That was before I thought about it. After giving it a lot 
of thought, I decided that Susan is probably not really a
Christian because she has never memorized a single Bible verse.
AND I once heard her use a four-letter word.

SAL -- Well, I'm casting my vote for Liz, because she goes out
with non-Christians.


PAT -- Amy, it's your turn. It's three to three. You have the
tie breaking vote. Who are you voting for?

AMY -- Nobody. (holds up blank sheet)

(all gasp and mumble to one another)

DOT -- I think it's only obvious who you should vote for.

MAY -- I'm not so sure it's obvious. Maybe we should vote off
both of them.

JAN -- What about it, Amy. Is it Liz or Susan or both?

AMY -- I'm not voting.

PAT -- You have to vote. You can't let a non-Christian be a

AMY -- I tell you what. If you can give me one single Bible
verse supporting your vote, I'll vote your way.

SAL -- Well, that's easy. You can vote for Liz because she goes
out with non-Christian boys. The Bible verse is "Do not be yoked
together with unbelievers."

AMY -- That's what the Bible verse says. But it DOESN'T say that
people who date non-believers lose their salvation. Does it?

SAL -- Well, no.

AMY -- What about baptism by immersion. Does the Bible say that
you can't be saved unless you are immersed in water?

LIZ -- Well, not in so many words.

AMY -- Does it say that you can't be saved if you're not
baptized at all?

LIZ -- Well, no. But...

AMY -- How about missing church services. Is there a Bible verse
that says you lose your salvation if you miss church?

PAT -- Well, I'm not sure. I don't think so. But...

AMY -- Where does it say that people who don't believe in a
young earth can't be saved?

MAY -- Well, I'm not sure. I'm sure I heard that somewhere.

AMY -- How about tithing. Is there a Bible verse that says you
can lose your salvation if you don't tithe?

JAN -- Help me, somebody, there's got to be a verse like that.

AMY -- Sorry to disappoint you. But you won't find that in the
Bible. How about using four-letter words?

DOT -- Well, maybe there isn't a Bible verse like that. But it's
not right.

JAN -- She's right. Christians shouldn't talk like that.

AMY -- I have a Bible verse for you. "Judge NOT lest YE be
judged." (exits)

DOT -- (follows) Oh! I know that verse. That's one of my memory

SUE -- (follows) A lot of good it did. Maybe I should have voted
you off the island.

(all others exit arguing over who judged whom)

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