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STRATEGY 6'2m?f Satan's strategy against ministry: distraction

(light cue: dim to 50%)

NOVICE -- (enters wearing black, carrying duffle bag and 
flashlight) Well, here we are, boss!

BOSS -- (enters wearing black, carrying duffle bag and 
flashlight, whispers loudly) Shshshshsh! Keep your voice down!

NOVICE -- (loud whisper) What's the matter, boss? You and I are
spirit beings. You said human beings can't hear us.

BOSS -- I know what I said, kid. But something is not right
here.

NOVICE -- What's the matter? Isn't this his brain?

BOSS -- Yes. We're in his brain.

NOVICE -- What's wrong, then. Is this the wrong guy?

BOSS -- No. This is the right guy. But something just doesn't
feel right.

NOVICE -- You want we should abort the mission, Boss?

BOSS -- No. You know how mad the big boss gets when we abort a
mission.

NOVICE -- Yeah, the last demon who returned to headquarters
without completing his mission ended up as a fruit fly. So,
should we go ahead and plant the bombs?

BOSS -- Okay, but let's proceed with caution. I don't feel right
about this guy.

NOVICE -- So, what's first?

BOSS -- First thing we do to keep this guy from surrendering
to... to...

NOVICE -- ... to Jesus?

BOSS -- I told you never to say that name in my presence!

NOVICE -- Sorry, boss. You was saying...?

BOSS -- First thing we do to keep this guy from surrendering is
to obscure the purpose for his life.

NOVICE -- So, which bomb do I use, Boss? (opens duffle bag) And
where do I plant it?

BOSS -- The love of money is the best way to obscure a man's 
true purpose. So, use the money bomb.

NOVICE -- (pulls a bomb from bag) So, where do you want me to
plant the money bomb, Boss?

BOSS -- (points) The ambition center of the brain is there.
(offers a bomb) And, while your at it, plant the power bomb
there too.

NOVICE -- The power bomb too?!

BOSS -- Yeah, we'll have the guy so busy chasing after money and 
power that he'll forget all about the real purpose for his life.
 
NOVICE -- Okay, Boss.

BOSS -- Set the timer for three minutes to give us time to
escape before it goes off. (pulls bomb from bag, crosses to a
different corner)

NOVICE -- (crosses to a corner of the stage, twiddles with bomb,
places it carefully on the floor) Got it, Boss.

BOSS -- And while you're doing that, I'll plant this bomb in his
memory section.

NOVICE -- What kind of bomb is that, Boss? (returns to bag)

BOSS -- When this baby goes off, all this guys past mistakes
will seem twice or three times their normal size. It'll
completely immobilize him.

NOVICE -- (pulling another bomb from bag) I almost feel sorry
for the guy, Boss. When we're through with him. He won't have
enough time in his life to even contemplate who created him.

BOSS -- That's the idea, kid. Okay, next bomb goes to the speech
center of his brain.

NOVICE -- (pulls bomb from bag) This bomb here, Boss?

BOSS -- You remembered!

NOVICE -- I'm learning from a pro, Boss. And if I remember
right, the speech center of his brain is... (points) there.
(crosses to another corner, plants bomb on floor)

BOSS -- Very good, kid. When that bomb goes off, the guy will be
tongue-tied with worries over what people will think about what
he says.

NOVICE -- This will really ruin his confidence, right Boss?

BOSS -- (pulls bomb from bag crosses to another corner) Right,
kid. In about two minutes this guy will be so tied up with
ambition, regrets, and worries the last thing he'll have time 
for is... 

NOVICE -- ...Oh, oh, my phone is ringing! (pulls cell phone from
pocket) Hello?

BOSS -- Who is it?

NOVICE -- It's the big boss. It's for you.

BOSS -- Oh, oh. (takes phone) Boss! How you doing?!.... (smile 
melts) Oh. Listen, Boss, it was an honest mistake. I...

NOVICE -- What's the matter?

BOSS -- (holds up finger) Yeah, boss, we'll make it right. Yeah.
He won't even know we've been here. Yeah. Good bye. (hands phone
to Novice)

NOVICE -- What did he say?

BOSS -- I told you I had a bad feeling about this guy!

NOVICE -- What is it, Boss?

BOSS -- This guy is a Christian.

NOVICE -- So?

BOSS -- So, we're not allowed in here.

NOVICE -- Why not?

BOSS -- This turf belongs to... to... you know who.

NOVICE -- Well, we can still plant bombs, can't we?

BOSS -- No. This is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We're not
even allowed inside. The Big Boss says if we get caught here, we
get an early trip to the lake of fire.

NOVICE -- Oooo! I hate fire! What are we going to do?

BOSS -- We have to remove the bombs right away and get out!

(both scurry to collect bombs)

NOVICE -- Can't we do ANYTHING to this guy?

BOSS -- Yeah, but with Christians, we've got to work from the
outside.

NOVICE -- What can we do from outside, Boss?

BOSS -- The only weapons we have left are distractions.

NOVICE -- Like what?

BOSS -- Like time wasters, like television, like hobbies, and...
and Bible studies.

NOVICE -- Bible studies?!

BOSS -- Yeah. (points to bombs) Be sure you defuse all those
bombs kid. We wouldn't want them to go off around us.

NOVICE -- Oh, sure, Boss. (defusing bombs) But tell me, Boss. I
thought Bible Studies was a good thing.

BOSS -- (defusing bombs) Oh, they are, kid, but if we can get
this guy to go to Bible Studies and church events every night of
the week, he won't have time for doing the work of... the work
of...

NOVICE -- Yeah, I see, Boss. (grabs bag, exits quickly) Let's
get out of here, Boss!

BOSS -- (follows) Hey, kid, are you sure you remembered to 
defuse all those...

(sound cue: boom)
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