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SERVE    5'9m?f Ministry should be a glimpse of Heaven

(scene: a bar stool facing audience)

TRAMP -- (enters with long scraggly hair and patched clothes)

ANGEL -- (enters opposite carrying clipboard) Welcome to Heaven,
sir. May I have your name?

TRAMP -- Clarence. My name is Clarence.

ANGEL -- (scans clipboard) Oh, yes, we've been expecting you,
Clarence. (points to stool) Please, have a seat.

TRAMP -- Oh, thanks. (sits)

(six angels converge on Tramp, remove his coat, help him sit,
two remove his shoes and begin pedicures, two begin manicures,
one applies shaving foam to half of his face, begins shaving,
one begins a haircut. Caution: it is important that the
non-speaking actors keep these activities low key and quiet to
avoid stealing focus from the spoken word)

BOB -- (enters backward wearing bathrobe, slippers) Where in the
world am I and how did I get here?!

ANGEL -- Welcome to Heaven, sir. May I have your name?

BOB -- Heaven?! You mean.... You mean I'm dead?!

ANGEL -- If I could just have your name, sir?

BOB -- Bob. My name is Bob. But I think there's been a mistake.
I was feeling just fine when I went to bed. I don't think I
belong here. Not yet, anyway.

ANGEL -- (scans clipboard) Oh dear.

BOB -- What's the matter?

ANGEL -- You're not on the list.

BOB -- Like I said. I don't think I belong here.

ANGEL -- If you'll just wait here, I'm sure we can make sense of
this. (exits)

BOB -- Please hurry. The last time I looked at my alarm clock I
only had a few minutes before I have to wake up. I need to get
back to where I belong. Oh, oh! What if I don't belong here?!
What if they don't send me home. What if they send me to.... No.
It can't be. I put my trust in Jesus. I'm sure I belong here.

DRESSER -- (enters carrying two suits on hangers, talks to
Tramp) Excuse me, sir, but would you prefer the Armani or the
Brooks Brothers?

TRAMP -- I've never been much for clothes. You decide.

DRESSER -- The Armani, then sir. We'll begin your tayloring as
soon as you finish with your grooming. (exits)

ANGEL -- (reenters, crosses to Bob)

BOB -- Hey, I know that guy!

ANGEL -- Excuse me?

BOB -- I know that guy! He's a homeless man who lives in a
cardboard box in the city park near where I work.

ANGEL -- (consults clipboard) Yes, sir. That's correct, except
from now on, Clarence is a permanent and valued resident of
Heaven.

BOB -- Boy! I'll say he's valued. Look how they pamper him. I'll
bet he's never had it so good!

ANGEL -- We treat all our clients like that.

BOB -- Including me?

ANGEL -- (clears throat, looks at clipboard) Well, no...

BOB -- Oh, no! Don't tell me.... I don't belong here?!

ANGEL -- That's right, sir. You don't.

BOB -- Oh, man! I was so sure! How could this happen?!

ANGEL -- Oh. Ah, I'm sorry. I hope you don't think there's been
a mistake.

BOB -- So, I DO belong here!

ANGEL -- No. You don't belong here.

BOB -- Oh.

ANGEL -- But there's been no mistake.

BOB -- How can that be?

ANGEL -- This is Heaven. This is a perfect place. We don't make
mistakes here.

BOB -- No. What I mean is, how can it be that I don't belong
here, but I'm not here by mistake?

ANGEL -- The Lord wanted to give you a glimpse of Heaven.

BOB -- Oh. Well, that's a relief!

ANGEL -- Well, it's not quite as much of a relief as you might
think.

BOB -- I wish you wouldn't talk like that. It scares me.

ANGEL -- What I'm trying to say, sir, is that the Lord has
noticed that your ministry... your discipleship....

BOB -- Yes, yes. Spit it out!

ANGEL -- Let's see. How shall I put this. You've been slacking
off. You've been kicking back. You've been talking the talk but
not walking the walk. You may as well have been phoning it in.

BOB -- Well, I'll admit that I... that I MAY have been letting 
up a bit, but....

ANGEL -- When you call yourself a Christian, you're ministry is
supposed to show the people you serve what Heaven is like. Do
you serve people like THIS? (points to Tramp)

BOB -- You mean, you want me to treat EVERYBODY like... like
(points to Tramp) THIS?!

ANGEL -- It's the LEAST you can do after all God has done for
you, don't you think?!

BOB -- I guess I forget about how much he sacrificed for me.
Man, compared to THIS, (points) my ministry could use a lot of
improvement! A lot of improvement. I guess I was really slacking
off!

ANGEL -- Well, it looks like you got the point. You may return
home now.

BOB -- Return home?

ANGEL -- (points to exit) This way, sir.

BOB -- This way? (points)

ANGEL -- (backs toward exit) Your alarm is about to go off. By
the time you get back to bed it will be time to wake up. Hurry.
Have a nice ministry sir.

BOB -- (exiting) I will. I really will. From now on, my ministry
will be a glimpse of Heaven.

ANGEL -- (turns) Now, Clarence, let's see about your wardrobe.
(points to exit) Right this way.

(all exit)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
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