SEMINAR  3'?m2f The Jesus Seminar, miracles, bible inerrancy

(scene: a convenience store counter or a podium)

(optional sound cue: tinkle of small bell)

LIZ -- (enters, crosses to podium, looks around, looks at watch)

AMY -- (enters opposite wearing bib apron, carrying two or more
cartons, notices Liz) Good morning. (puts down cartons, wipes 
hands on apron, goes behind podium) May I help you?

LIZ -- Yes. (reaches into pocket or purse, pulls out small slip
of paper) I bought this lottery ticket at another store... And I
need to know if I can redeem it here. (offers ticket)

AMY -- (smiles broadly, ignores ticket)

LIZ -- What are you smiling at?

AMY -- I think I saw you on TV...

LIZ -- If you would, just tell me if I can redeem this lottery
ticket here. (offers ticket)

AMY -- It was you, wasn't it? You were on that talk show,
talking about the Bible.

LIZ -- I hope you're not one of those fundamentalists.

AMY -- You're from the Jesus Seminar, aren't you?

LIZ -- First, you tell me if I can redeem this lottery ticket
here, then I'll tell you if I'm a member of the Jesus Seminar.

AMY -- (takes ticket, reads) It says you bought this ticket at
store number 376. That's one of our stores.

LIZ -- So, I CAN redeem it here, right?

AMY -- Well, you COULD....

LIZ -- COULD. What does that mean? I have the winning numbers,

AMY -- Let me check. (runs finger down a list on the podium) 23,
46, 16, 32, 41 and 9. Those are the winning numbers.

LIZ -- So, I'm a winner, right?

AMY -- Well, in a manner of speaking....

LIZ -- Why are you being so negative? Either I won or I didn't.
I won, didn't I?

AMY -- Well, you had the winning numbers. But....

LIZ -- But what?! What prevents me from collecting?

AMY -- Well, according to the publication, your odds against
winning this lottery were... (consults list on podium) 43
million to one.

LIZ -- So?

AMY -- So, it's highly unlikely that you would have the winning
lottery ticket.

LIZ -- (snatches ticket) But you just confirmed that I have the
winning numbers! (read) 23, 46, 16, 32, 41, and 9. Right?!

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- So, regardless of the odds, I AM the winner right?!

AMY -- Well, if I use your own arguments, there is no way you
could be a winner.

LIZ -- What arguments?!

AMY -- Your arguments against the miracles of Jesus.

LIZ -- What does that have to do with whether I won the lottery?

AMY -- You dismissed out of hand the Biblical descriptions of
the miracles of Jesus as myth because, you said, "it is highly
unlikely that miracles could possibly happen."

LIZ -- Yes, I did, but....

AMY -- Well, your chances of getting struck by lightening are
less than your odds of winning the lottery. So, using your own
arguments, things that are highly unlikely probably didn't

LIZ -- Yes, but I have the winning ticket right here!

AMY -- Your winning lottery ticket is no better documented than
the Biblical accounts of the miracles of Jesus. So, there is no
way we can say that you actually won the lottery.

LIZ -- I knew it! You're one of those radical fundamentalists!
(exiting) Forget it! I'll redeem my lottery ticket at another

AMY -- (picks up box, exiting opposite) Are you sure your
lottery ticket even exists?

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