SEEKING  6'1m1f Seeking Christ at Christmas Time

(scene: bare stage except for a small end table on Amy's end of
the stage with Bible, cordless phone, TV remote control)

AMY --- (enters, wearing robe over pajamas and slippers, paces
briefly, picks up remote, turns on imaginary TV at back of
audience, changes channels, bored with each one, picks up phone,
dials number on TV screen, turns off TV; during the conversation
she alternately paces and stands still for emphasis and

(caution: pacing with a phone will cover your mouth and/or
muffle your words. Pace with the phone under your chin)

JOSH -- (warm, confident, patient voiceover OR enters opposite
with phone to ear, remains near exit) Suicide prevention
hotline, this is Josh. How may I help you?

AMY --- Yeah, hi. Say, listen, you're going to think I'm a
little nuts, but I can't sleep and there's nothing on TV, and I
just thought that if you have nothing better to do, we could
just talk a little.

JOSH -- No problem. What do you want to talk about?

AMY --- Listen, I know you guys have, like, this 911 panic
button just in case I took a bottle of pills or something, but I
just want you to know I'm not going to kill myself or anything.
I just wanted to....

JOSH -- It's okay. We can just talk. It's not a problem. No
squad cars or ambulances will wake up your neighbors. I promise.
What do you want to talk about?

AMY --- Listen, if you get an urgent call from someone on a
fourteenth floor ledge ready to jump, you can just cut me off.

JOSH -- Okay. It's a deal. My name is Josh. What's yours?

AMY --- Call me Babs. On TV the name Babs is always good for a

JOSH -- Okay, Babs, what do you want to talk about?

AMY --- How about Christmas?

JOSH -- Do you have all your shopping done?

AMY --- I'm not talking about that Christmas.

JOSH -- You're not?

AMY --- Well, I am and I'm not. You must think I'm a psycho case
or something, calling at three o'clock in the morning just to
talk. And then I don't even know what I want to talk about....

JOSH -- Babs, I get a lot of people calling who just want to
talk. So, let's get back to Christmas.

AMY --- Actually, this happens every year at Christmas time.

JOSH -- What happens?

AMY --- I get restless. I can't sleep. I read somewhere that the
suicide rate really increases around Christmas time. Not that I
am suicidal or anything. You must really think I'm a wacko.
Maybe I shouldn't have called...

JOSH -- You called to talk, Babs. Let's talk. So, why do you
think you're restless and sleepless at Christmas time?

AMY --- I don't know. I think maybe I'm too analytical. I see
people spending money for gifts, half of which nobody needs. I
see all the hectic shopping and decorating and parties and for
what? It all started 2000 years ago as someone's birthday party.
And now, it seems everybody gets a gift except the birthday boy.
The first Christians didn't even celebrate Jesus' birthday.

JOSH -- Do you think it would be better if we didn't celebrate

AMY --- Yes. No. Yes. You must think I'm a few sandwiches short
of a full picnic.

JOSH -- Babs, I'm not judging you at all. Tell me first why you
DON'T think we should celebrate Christmas.

AMY --- Because the way we do it now, it doesn't mean anything.
It's just gifts and parties.

JOSH -- Okay. Now tell me why you DO think we should celebrate

AMY --- Because it's an important birthday. We celebrate the
birthdays of presidents and a lot of people thinks that Jesus is
way more important than presidents.


AMY --- To tell the truth, I don't know. I mean, some of the
stuff they say about him is pretty fantastic, don't you think?

JOSH -- Like what?

AMY --- Like the miracles and stuff.

JOSH -- The miracles are not too fantastic if he was who he said
he was.

AMY --- You mean the son of God thing.

JOSH -- Yes.

AMY --- See that's what I don't get. I don't get how one God
could be Father, Son and Holy Spirit all at the same time. I
don't get how Jesus could be all God at the same time he is all

JOSH -- You took college physics. How can there be light waves
and light particles at the same time?

AMY --- How did you know I took college physics?

JOSH -- Did you?

AMY --- Yes, but....

JOSH -- Is it possible for light to be both a particle and a

AMY --- Well, yes, under certain energy conditions light can be
explained better if we speak about it as a wave. And under other
energy conditions the photon particle explains it's behavior best.

JOSH -- But it's all light.

AMY --- So, you think Father, Son, and Holy Spirit might be just
God's way of explaining his nature to numb-nuts like us who only
have college physics to explain things?

JOSH -- Maybe.

AMY --- But that still doesn't explain Jesus. He didn't seem to
exist until he was born. There's no record of him in the Bible
before that.

JOSH -- You've got a Bible there. Look up Colossians 1:16.

AMY --- Sure. (picks up Bible, flips a few pages, straightens)
Wait a minute. How did you know I had a Bible right here?

JOSH -- Did you?

AMY --- Well, yes, but...

JOSH -- Well, what does it say in Colossians 1:16?

AMY --- (turning paging pages) This is, like, really spooky.
Do I know you?

JOSH -- Just tell me what it says in Colossians 1:16 about

AMY --- (reads while pacing) For by him all things were created:
things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether
thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were
created by him and for him.  (stops pacing)

JOSH -- Why did you stop pacing?

AMY --- (looks both ways) How did you know I stopped pacing? All
the drapes are drawn. How did you know I stopped pacing? Do you
have, like, a TV camera in here or something? (clutches lapels)

JOSH -- Babs, you're perfectly safe. I tell you what, you answer
my question first. And then I'll answer yours. Why did you stop

AMY --- (points to Bible) Because this answers the question
that's kept me so restless and sleepless at Christmas.

JOSH -- What question?

AMY --- If Jesus was just a guy or even an angel; if he was just
created or invented, then what's all the fuss? Why bother with
Christmas at all? In fact, why bother with LIFE at all?

JOSH -- It was not just a mere coincidence that you called the
suicide prevention hotline, was it?

AMY --- (paces) Well, now that I've found the answer, I don't
mind admitting that every Christmas I keep thinking if it wasn't
really God who was born in Bethlehem, then it wasn't really God
who came to save the world. And I don't stand a chance of making
it to heaven. And if I'm not going to heaven then, all there is
left is gifts I don't need and parties with people I can do
without. Then, what's the point of going on living? But it
really WAS God who became a man, wasn't it?

JOSH -- Yes, it was, Amy.

AMY -- (stop, straightens) Wait a minute. You just called me
Amy. I told you to call me Babs. Mister, you have some
explaining to do! Who are you?

JOSH -- Would it help you to know that you were the only one in
the world who saw that phone number on television?

AMY --- (disbelief) Jesus.

JOSH -- Yes.

AMY --- (paces, arm outstretched) Oh, Man! Jesus!

JOSH -- My Hebrew name is JOSHUA.

AMY --- Why me? I mean, I know I called you, but, I mean, you
didn't have to answer.

JOSH -- Look in your Bible, there, Amy. Matthew 7:7.

AMY --- (turning pages) I was just reading that chapter this

JOSH -- I know.

AMY --- Here it is: "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and
you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (looks
up) You heard my prayer after I read that.

JOSH -- I don't usually answer prayers by phone. But you did
ask, seek and knock.

AMY --- Oh, man! I'm talking to God himself. Oh, man!

JOSH -- So, Amy! Do we celebrate Christmas this year or not?

AMY --- (tearful pause) Happy Birthday, Jesus.

JOSH -- Thanks, Amy. Call me anytime.

(both exit)

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