BACK

SCHEDULE 5'?m1f Monologue: quiet time, Bible reading, prayer

(scene: one chair facing audience)

(enters carrying briefcase, sits, pulls Bible from briefcase,
opens it, begins reading, sighs, pulls cell phone from pocket)

Hello?

Do you know what time it is?

Early?! I would normally not even be awake at this time of
morning. But I woke up early so I could have a little quiet time
to read my Bible and pray.

An emergency. Well, why can't somebody else handle it? You know,
I'm not the only one who works for this company.

Save the flattery.

(pulls PDA from pocket)

How soon does he need me?

Yesterday. I'm booked until coffee break.

Now?! I just told you...

You promised. Well it was nice of you to commit me without
asking me!

Alright, I'll cover for you... this time.

Don't grovel. I already said I'd do it. Alright, let's see.

(pokes PDA)

Hmmmm.... I can move my quiet time to coffee break. But I've
already made a commitment to do an errand during coffee break.
That means I'll have to...

(pokes PDA)

move my errand to lunch hour.

(pokes PDA)

No, I'm not giving up my quiet time. I've made a commitment to
start a daily quiet time and I'm not fudging on my promise.
Alright. I'll run over to Consolidated first thing this morning
and put my finger in the dike. But this is the last time. I'll
see you at the office.

(pockets PDA and cell phone, packs up briefcase, stands, sighs)

Not again!

(pulls cell phone from pocket)

City Zoo.

Oh, it's you. I'm sorry. I thought it was someone from my
office. How can I help you?

Listen, I've just made a commitment to handle another emergency
first thing this morning.

Just now. I just got off the phone.

Yes, well it was a good idea to call early. But I just can't
make it first thing this morning.

Let me check.

(pulls PDA from pocket)

Ah, no. Thanks to my coworker, I'm now booked until noon.

Fifteen minutes? That's all?

(pokes PDA)

No, I just scheduled something for my coffee break.

(pokes PDA)

Alright, I'll move my quiet time back to noon... Oh, wait. I
have an errand to run during lunch hour. I'll move my quiet time
back to afternoon coffee break....

(pokes PDA)

and I'll slot you into my morning coffee break.

(pockets PDA)

You're welcome. But please don't make it a habit of calling me
this early.

Right. See you later.

(pockets cell phone, bends to pickup briefcase, sighs)

Not again!

(straightens, pulls cell phone from pocket, looks at screen)

Larry! Please tell me you're calling to cancel our meeting this
afternoon!

No. Of course not. Why should you be any different?!

I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound cynical. It's Monday morning
and I've already had a bad week. When do you need me? And please
don't say mid-afternoon.

I told you not to say that. Let me look.

(pulls PDA from pocket, pokes)

Alright, I'll move my quiet time to dinner.

(pokes PDA)

No.

(pokes PDA)

After dinner.

(pokes PDA)

No. They're both booked. Well nice try.

(pokes PDA)

I'll have to move my quiet time to first thing tomorrow.

(pokes PDA)

Alright, mid-afternoon it is. But you owe me.

(pockets cell phone, bends to pickup briefcase, sighs,
straightens, pulls cell phone from pocket, looks at screen)

Hello?

Yes. Who is this? Your number doesn't show up on my cell phone.

God. This is God. (smiles) Look, whoever you are, since I don't
have the time or energy to play games, what can I do for you....
God?

Quiet time. How did you know about that? Who is this?

God. You said that. Alright, let's assume for the sake of
argument that this really is God. What about my quiet time?

Do I know the great commandment? Yes, I think I know that. Love
the Lord your God with all your Heart, with all your mind, and
with all your strength. Something like that.

And with all my... with all my... PDA?

(pulls PDA from pocket)

How do I love the Lord with my PDA?

List my quiet time as a meeting?

But wouldn't that be lying?

It really would be a meeting. With who?

With you.

Hey not bad! I'll do that!

(pokes PDA)

Okay. Meeting with God this time tomorrow. How's that?

(pockets PDA)

While I'm writing...

Right, make a note to "turn off cell phone during my meeting
with God". Got it.

How do you know I'm not writing it down?

(pulls PDA from pocket)

You're God. Of course. Alright, I'll right it down.

(pokes PDA repeatedly)

"turn... off... cell... phone..."

There, how's that?

(pockets PDA)

Yes, it was nice talking to you too.

Yes, I'll meet with you in the morning.

(pockets phone, exits)

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK