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ROBOT    3'2m1f A robot is reprogrammed to recite Bible verses

DARREL -- (hick, enters with remote control in hand) Darla, look 
what I found!

ANDROID -- (enters, follows Darrel)

DARLA -- (hick, enters opposite, meets both DC) What is it, 
Darell, a robot?

DARREL -- No, Darla, it's a can opener. Of course, it's a robot. 

DARLA -- You're always bringin' home junk, Darell.

DARREL -- The fellas from the carnival left it in the dumpster.

DARLA -- You ain't bringin' another piece of junk in this house, 
Darell.

DARREL -- It ain't junk, Darla. I fixed it. But I haven't been 
able to get it to talk yet. They used to use it to entertain the 
kids on the midway. So, I know it kin talk.

DARLA -- It's just gonna end up in the attic with the other junk 
you brung home, Darell.

DARREL -- I can fix it. I can fix anything. (plays with the back 
of Android's head)

DARLA -- Even if ya can fix it, Darell, what good is it?

DARREL -- I can bring it to the Sunday school with me. It can 
recite Bible verses to the little kids. Looky here, I found a 
couple more loose wires. (plays with the back of Android's head)

DARLA -- You sure you know what yer doin' there, Darell?

DARREL -- Piece of cake, Darla. There. All done. (pushes remote 
control)

ANDROID -- (gestures broadly) Hi, kids, hi yah, hi yah.

DARREL --  See, I told ya, Darla. I can fix anything. Now, all 
we have to do is load in this New Testament software. (plays 
with the back of Android's head, pushes remote control)

ANDROID -- Born of a virgin, wrapped swaddling clothes, lying in 
a manger, because... rid did did did dit... She live in a shoe. 
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.

DARLA -- That's real nice, Darrel, but are you sure that's the 
way the Bible reads?

DARREL -- Sounds good to me.

ANDROID -- After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea during the 
reign of King Herod ... rid did did dit ... he called for his 
pipe and he called for his bowl and and he called for his 
fiddlers three.

DARLA -- That don't sound right, Darell.

DARREL -- Sounds good to me, Darla.

ANDROID -- Three magi from the east came to Jerusalem....rid did 
did dit... the clock struck one, and down he ran, hickory dickory 
dock.

DARLA -- I don't remember no hickory dickory doc in the Bible, 
Darell.

DARREL -- It's the New International Version, Darla. You know 
how them boys mess up a translation.

ANDROID -- And there were shepherds living out in the fields 
nearby, keeping watch over their sheep... rid did did did dit 
.... with a baa baa here, a baa baa there, here a baa there a 
baa, everywhere a baa baa.

DARLA -- Darell, this just ain't right.

DARREL -- (plays with the back of Android's head) It just needs 
a little adjustment, that's all, Darla. There. Let's try that. 

ANDROID -- At the wedding in Cana in Galilee, Jesus turned water 
into wine and... rid did did did dit ...The cow jumped over the 
moon and the dish ran away with the spoon.

DARLA -- Darell, we cain't have him sayin' that kinda stuff in 
front of the Sunday School.

DARREL -- We'll put in the Junior high class. They'll never 
notice.

ANDROID -- After supper, Jesus and the disciples went out of the 
city to the Mount of Olive... Rid did did did dit...Jack fell 
down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after.

DARLA -- That does it, Darrel. You ain't putting that thing in 
no Sunday School!

DARREL -- (plays with the back of Androids head) Don't give up 
so quick, Darla. There's some dip switches in here we ain't 
tried yet. 

DARLA -- Don't bother, Darell. You ain't bringing that THING in 
the house.

ANDROID -- (to Darla) I really like your new hair do ...rid 
did did did dit... may I help you with the dishes?

DARLA -- On second thought, (takes remote control, exits with 
Android) one should always stay abreast of technology.

DARREL -- (follows) Hey, wait a minute, Darla, something ain't 
right here. Darla!


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