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READMORE 2'?m1f Monologue: prayer cannot violate the Bible

(sound cue: phone rings)

(enters hurriedly, picks up phone)

Prayer hot line. What can I pray for?

I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you correctly. Could you repeat
that?

Oh. I did hear you correctly. You want me to pray about whether
you should divorce your husband.

Listen, just so I'll know what to pray for specifically, could
you answer a few questions?

Okay. Is he cheating on you?

No. Is he beating you?

No. Is he degrading you or calling you names?

No. Well, then, what exactly is he doing to you that would cause
you to divorce him?

Nothing. Nothing?

You just don't love him anymore.

One more question. Are you seeing anybody else?

You are.

(pauses)

Yes. I'm still here.

Will I pray about it? No.

No, I'm not going to pray about it.

Yes, this is a prayer hot line. But the purpose of prayer is to 
ask God's will. And the Bible has already made it very clear 
what God's will is in this case: adultery is wrong.

Yes, I said adultery. If you divorce your husband to marry 
another man, that's adultery.

Hello. Hello?

(hangs up)

(sound cue: phone rings)

(picks up phone)

Prayer hot line. What can I pray for?

You found some money. Well, congratulations! I'll pray a prayer
of thanks to God for you!

That's not why you called. Why did you call?

Oh. The money you found doesn't belong to you. Then, why did you
call the prayer hot line?

You want me to pray about keeping the money. Well, I suppose if
you've tried real hard to find the owner of the money...

You didn't? Why not?

You already knew who the money belongs to.

Then what do you want me to pray about?

Whether you should keep the money.

I can tell you right now, the answer is NO.

I don't have to pray about it. The answer is NO.

No, I'm not going to pray about it.

Yes, this is a prayer hot line. But the purpose of prayer is to 
ask God's will. And the Bible has already made it very clear 
what God's will is in this case: theft is wrong.

Yes, I said theft. If you keep money that belongs to someone
else that's theft.

Hello. Hello?

(hangs up, exits)

It's not like God is going to change his mind about right and
wrong. I wish these people would read their Bibles before they
start praying.

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
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