BACK

QUIET3   5'?m4f During quiet time, when your mind wanders....

(scene: single chairs face audience at opposite ends of the
stage)

(note: both NEW and OLD demons wear black, others wear street
clothes)

OLD -- (enters with New, cross to nearest chair) Well, Kid, here
we are.

NEW -- (follows) But there's nobody here.

OLD -- Don't worry, Kid, they'll be here. These Christians make
it a habit to read their Bibles and pray every morning.

NEW -- You're sure.

OLD -- Of course I'm sure! I been ruining quiet times for
Christians for over two thousand years. (points offstage) Speak
of the devil, here comes one of them now.

LIZ -- (enters carrying Bible)

NEW -- (steps behind Old, cowers) Shouldn't we hide or
something?!

OLD -- What for? We demons are spirit beings. Humans can't see
us.

NEW -- (stands erect, swaggers) I knew that.

LIZ -- (sits, bows head, prays briefly)

NEW -- (whispers) Hey!

OLD -- (aloud) What.

NEW -- She's praying.

OLD -- Yeah, so?

NEW -- (whispers) If we're here to spoil her quiet time with the
Lord, shouldn't we be doing something?

OLD -- Not yet. It won't do no good.

NEW -- (whispers) Why not?

OLD -- Contrary to popular opinion, the powers of us demons is
rather limited. If she's praying, God is going to hear her
prayers no matter what we do.

NEW -- I knew that.

LIZ -- (opens Bible, reads)

OLD -- Okay. Do your thing.

NEW -- Um. What's my thing?

OLD -- What did they teach you at the Demon academy?

NEW -- About what?

OLD -- Didn't they teach you about disrupting a Christian's
quiet time?

NEW -- It's possible... that... I may have slept through that
lesson.

OLD -- (sighs) Rookies! And they wonder why I hate working with
rookies! Alright, I'll take this one while you watch and learn.
But when the next Christian starts reading his Bible, you're on
your own.

NEW -- Got it.

OLD -- (leans, talks into Liz's ear) You're out of milk. You
need to stop by the store and pick up some milk.

LIZ -- (straightens) Now why am I thinking about milk?! This
passage has nothing to do with milk. (resumes reading)

NEW -- That's amazing!

OLD -- Works every time. Observe and take note. (leans) You're
out of shampoo too.

LIZ -- (straightens) Shampoo?! What's shampoo Got to do with
this passage?! (resumes reading)

OLD -- You need to call your mother. You haven't called her yet
this week.

LIZ -- (straightens) What is going on here?! Why can't I keep my
mind on my Bible reading? (pats side of head, resumes reading)

OLD -- (laughs) Gee. I wonder why. (laughs)

NEW -- You're really good, Boss. She hasn't even read a whole
paragraph yet.

OLD -- You're missing the point, kid. It ain't the quantity that
counts, it's the quality.

NEW -- The quality.

OLD --  You need to time your distractions to interrupt the
APPLICATION of the Bible to her life. If she applies the Bible
to her life, our goose is cooked.

NEW -- I knew that.

OLD -- (bends) The blouse you want to wear to church tonight is
in the laundry.

LIZ -- (straightens) The laundry?! Why am I thinking about the
laundry?! (resumes reading)

OLD -- I'll tell you why, because you was about to apply that
Bible verse to your life. That's a no-no. (laughs)

NEW -- That's a no-no. (laughs)

AMY -- (enters opposite carrying Bible, notepad and pencil,
sits, prays briefly)

OLD -- (pokes New) Okay, kid, here's your chance. (points to
Amy)

NEW -- (crossing to Amy) Piece of cake.

OLD -- Remember, wait until she tries to apply the Bible to her
life. (leans, speaks silently into Liz's ear while focus is on
New and Amy)

NEW -- Got it.

AMY -- (opens Bible, reads)

NEW -- (leans, talks into Amy's ear) You forgot to water your
house plants yesterday.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

NEW -- Hey, I said you forgot to water your house plants
yesterday. (looks to Old, whispers) Pssst! (waves) Hey!

OLD -- (flicks at New with hand, resume silent whispering)

NEW -- Alright, let's try this one. (leans) Your car is almost
out of gas.

AMY -- (scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

NEW -- You forgot to sign your time card at work yesterday.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

OLD -- (shouts to New) I've got my Christian completely
frustrated, kid. How is yours doing?

NEW -- It's not working, Boss.

OLD -- (approaching) What do you mean it's not working?! It
always works!

NEW -- I tried everything. I tried household chores. I tried
things at work. Nothing seems to distract her.

OLD -- Let me try. (leans) You seem to be putting on a few
pounds lately.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

OLD -- (straightens) Oh. (returns to Liz) On to the next one.

NEW -- (follows) Wait a minute! Don't tell me you're giving up!

OLD -- I know when I'm licked.

NEW -- I don't get it.

OLD -- Obviously not. She's a lister.

NEW -- A lister.

OLD -- She's a lister. She makes lists. Every time she had a
distraction, she wrote it down and put it out of her mind to
deal with it later. We can't fight that. (leans over Liz) You
haven't sent your Grandmother a greeting card this month.

LIZ -- (slams Bible closed) That's it! I can't concentrate.
(stands, exit) I'm done. Maybe tomorrow.

OLD -- (follows) You get the point, kid?

NEW -- (follows) Yeah. We demons focus our efforts on the
defenseless Christians, the one's who don't make lists. We don't
waste time on the listers.

OLD -- Now you're learning, kid!

2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK