QUIET3   5'?m4f During quiet time, when your mind wanders....

(scene: single chairs face audience at opposite ends of the

(note: both NEW and OLD demons wear black, others wear street

OLD -- (enters with New, cross to nearest chair) Well, Kid, here
we are.

NEW -- (follows) But there's nobody here.

OLD -- Don't worry, Kid, they'll be here. These Christians make
it a habit to read their Bibles and pray every morning.

NEW -- You're sure.

OLD -- Of course I'm sure! I been ruining quiet times for
Christians for over two thousand years. (points offstage) Speak
of the devil, here comes one of them now.

LIZ -- (enters carrying Bible)

NEW -- (steps behind Old, cowers) Shouldn't we hide or

OLD -- What for? We demons are spirit beings. Humans can't see

NEW -- (stands erect, swaggers) I knew that.

LIZ -- (sits, bows head, prays briefly)

NEW -- (whispers) Hey!

OLD -- (aloud) What.

NEW -- She's praying.

OLD -- Yeah, so?

NEW -- (whispers) If we're here to spoil her quiet time with the
Lord, shouldn't we be doing something?

OLD -- Not yet. It won't do no good.

NEW -- (whispers) Why not?

OLD -- Contrary to popular opinion, the powers of us demons is
rather limited. If she's praying, God is going to hear her
prayers no matter what we do.

NEW -- I knew that.

LIZ -- (opens Bible, reads)

OLD -- Okay. Do your thing.

NEW -- Um. What's my thing?

OLD -- What did they teach you at the Demon academy?

NEW -- About what?

OLD -- Didn't they teach you about disrupting a Christian's
quiet time?

NEW -- It's possible... that... I may have slept through that

OLD -- (sighs) Rookies! And they wonder why I hate working with
rookies! Alright, I'll take this one while you watch and learn.
But when the next Christian starts reading his Bible, you're on
your own.

NEW -- Got it.

OLD -- (leans, talks into Liz's ear) You're out of milk. You
need to stop by the store and pick up some milk.

LIZ -- (straightens) Now why am I thinking about milk?! This
passage has nothing to do with milk. (resumes reading)

NEW -- That's amazing!

OLD -- Works every time. Observe and take note. (leans) You're
out of shampoo too.

LIZ -- (straightens) Shampoo?! What's shampoo Got to do with
this passage?! (resumes reading)

OLD -- You need to call your mother. You haven't called her yet
this week.

LIZ -- (straightens) What is going on here?! Why can't I keep my
mind on my Bible reading? (pats side of head, resumes reading)

OLD -- (laughs) Gee. I wonder why. (laughs)

NEW -- You're really good, Boss. She hasn't even read a whole
paragraph yet.

OLD -- You're missing the point, kid. It ain't the quantity that
counts, it's the quality.

NEW -- The quality.

OLD --  You need to time your distractions to interrupt the
APPLICATION of the Bible to her life. If she applies the Bible
to her life, our goose is cooked.

NEW -- I knew that.

OLD -- (bends) The blouse you want to wear to church tonight is
in the laundry.

LIZ -- (straightens) The laundry?! Why am I thinking about the
laundry?! (resumes reading)

OLD -- I'll tell you why, because you was about to apply that
Bible verse to your life. That's a no-no. (laughs)

NEW -- That's a no-no. (laughs)

AMY -- (enters opposite carrying Bible, notepad and pencil,
sits, prays briefly)

OLD -- (pokes New) Okay, kid, here's your chance. (points to

NEW -- (crossing to Amy) Piece of cake.

OLD -- Remember, wait until she tries to apply the Bible to her
life. (leans, speaks silently into Liz's ear while focus is on
New and Amy)

NEW -- Got it.

AMY -- (opens Bible, reads)

NEW -- (leans, talks into Amy's ear) You forgot to water your
house plants yesterday.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

NEW -- Hey, I said you forgot to water your house plants
yesterday. (looks to Old, whispers) Pssst! (waves) Hey!

OLD -- (flicks at New with hand, resume silent whispering)

NEW -- Alright, let's try this one. (leans) Your car is almost
out of gas.

AMY -- (scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

NEW -- You forgot to sign your time card at work yesterday.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

OLD -- (shouts to New) I've got my Christian completely
frustrated, kid. How is yours doing?

NEW -- It's not working, Boss.

OLD -- (approaching) What do you mean it's not working?! It
always works!

NEW -- I tried everything. I tried household chores. I tried
things at work. Nothing seems to distract her.

OLD -- Let me try. (leans) You seem to be putting on a few
pounds lately.

AMY -- (straightens, scribbles note on pad, resumes reading)

OLD -- (straightens) Oh. (returns to Liz) On to the next one.

NEW -- (follows) Wait a minute! Don't tell me you're giving up!

OLD -- I know when I'm licked.

NEW -- I don't get it.

OLD -- Obviously not. She's a lister.

NEW -- A lister.

OLD -- She's a lister. She makes lists. Every time she had a
distraction, she wrote it down and put it out of her mind to
deal with it later. We can't fight that. (leans over Liz) You
haven't sent your Grandmother a greeting card this month.

LIZ -- (slams Bible closed) That's it! I can't concentrate.
(stands, exit) I'm done. Maybe tomorrow.

OLD -- (follows) You get the point, kid?

NEW -- (follows) Yeah. We demons focus our efforts on the
defenseless Christians, the one's who don't make lists. We don't
waste time on the listers.

OLD -- Now you're learning, kid!

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