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QUALITY  6'?m2f Family: "Quality Time" is code for "too busy"

(scene: two chairs)

AMY -- (enters backward carrying clipboard) Come in, please.
(points to chair) Have a seat.

LIZ -- (enters cautiously, looks around) Isn't that funny? I've
worked in this company for ten years and I never noticed an
office here before. (sits) What's this all about?

AMY -- (sits) You could call it a performance review.

LIZ -- Listen. I hate to be rude. But I've worked here for ten
years and I've never seen you before. Who do you work for?

AMY -- The boss.

LIZ -- The boss.

AMY -- Yes, now... Would you say... (reading form on clipboard)

LIZ -- ...which boss? Pendleton or Collins?

AMY -- Higher than that.

LIZ -- Higher than that?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- Oh.

AMY -- Yes, now... Would you say... (reading form on clipboard)

LIZ -- You work for the president?

AMY -- Actually, you could call me a consultant.

LIZ -- A consultant.

AMY -- Yes, now... Would you say... (reading form on clipboard)

LIZ -- Oh, please don't tell me the company is downsizing and
they hired you to tell them who gets the ax!

AMY -- Oh, your job is quite safe.

LIZ -- That's what they all say.

AMY -- Excuse me?

LIZ -- That's what they all say. And then in your next pay
envelope you get a pink slip.

AMY -- Oh, I assure you, your job is quite safe. Now... Would 
you say... (reading form on clipboard)

LIZ -- Then why am I here?

AMY -- I told you, I'm here to give you a performance review.
Now... may we proceed? (points to clipboard)

LIZ -- Oh. Sure.

AMY -- (reads) Would you say that you spend more time with the 
customers you value than those you don't?

LIZ -- Yes, of course! Wait a minute is that a trick question?
How do you want me to answer that?

AMY -- The truth is all I seek.

LIZ -- You're sure this is not about a lay off?

AMY -- I told you. Your job is not in danger. The truth. (points
to clipboard)

LIZ -- The truth. Well, of course you spend more time with the
more valued customers. That's how you keep them as customers.

AMY -- (reads) So, you'd say that the more you value a customer
the more time you spend with him?

LIZ -- (tilts head, pauses) I thought I said that.

AMY -- (reads) Would you say that the more you value a customer,
the more you talk to him?

LIZ -- Well, of course that's true. That's how you find out what
the customer needs. The more you talk to him, the more you find
his needs, the better you meet his needs the more you assure
that he will remain a customer.

AMY -- (reads) Would you say that the more you value a customer
the more you attend to the details in his account?

LIZ -- Yes. Yes. That's true too.

AMY -- (reads) Would you say that a customer senses how much you
value him by the amount of time, conversation and attention to
details you give to him?

LIZ -- Yes. That's all true.

AMY -- Is that true for your coworkers too?

LIZ -- Why? Did one of my coworkers complain about me?

AMY -- The truth.

LIZ -- The truth.

AMY -- Yes. The truth.

LIZ -- (tilts head, pauses) Yes. I think that's true for my
relationships with everyone in the company.

AMY -- (reads) So, you'd say that the more you value a coworker
the more time, conversation and attention to details you give to
him?

LIZ -- (tilts head, pauses) Yes. Yes. I can honestly say that.

AMY -- (reads) And your children? Is the same true for them?

LIZ -- My children? What do my children have to do...

AMY -- The truth.

LIZ -- The truth.

AMY -- Yes. The truth.

LIZ -- Oh, alright. As a matter of fact, my children and I spend
quality time together.

AMY -- Quality time.

LIZ -- Yes. Quality time.

AMY -- Isn't "quality time" just a code word meaning that you
don't spend much time with your children?

LIZ -- I really don't see what this has to do...

AMY -- The truth.

LIZ -- The truth.

AMY -- Yes. The truth.

LIZ -- Oh, alright. I suppose I could spend more time with my
children.

AMY -- The truth.

LIZ -- Alright. The truth is I don't spend as much time as I
should with my children.

AMY -- (reads) Now, if your children were your customers, would
they be satisfied with the time, conversation and attention to
details you give them?

LIZ -- (sigh) No.

AMY -- (reads) Would you say that your children sense how much 
you value them by the amount of time, conversation and attention 
to details that you give them?

LIZ -- (sigh) Frankly, if my children were my customers, they
would probably have gone over to the competition by now.

AMY -- (reads) What do you intend to do about it?

LIZ -- I suppose I should probably spend more time with them. I
should talk to them more. I should spend more time finding out
what they need and giving it to them. It's what I would do if
they were a valued customer.... But... I just don't have time...

AMY -- The truth.

LIZ -- The truth.

AMY -- Yes. The truth.

LIZ -- (sigh) The truth is I have vacation coming that I keep
putting off. The truth is I don't have to work late every night.
The truth is I don't give my children time and conversation and
attention to details even when I'm home. The truth is I don't
treat my children like I value them. The truth is I'm going to
change all that, starting right now! (stands) I'm going to take
the rest of the day off and play with my kids.

AMY -- (stands) Good for you.

LIZ -- Oh. You didn't have any more questions for me did you?

AMY -- No. I think we've accomplished what we set out to
accomplish.

LIZ -- Good. (turns to exit) I'll see you around. (turns) Oh,
wait a minute. I probably won't see you around. You said you
were a consultant.

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- What company did you say you worked for?

AMY -- Oh, I don't work for any company.

LIZ -- Well, who do you work for then?

AMY -- (looks up slowly, drawing Liz's gaze up too)

LIZ -- (looks up) Oh, wow!

AMY -- Well, you have work to do. You'd better get busy.
(follows Liz to exit, then exits upstage of her unseen when Liz
turns)

LIZ -- Oh, yes. I do have work to do. At home. (turns, moves
toward exit) If I treated my children as well as I treat my
customers and my coworkers I wouldn't need a... consultant...
would I? Where did she go? (shrugs, exits)
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