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PROLIFE  7'?m2f Abortion: is the fetus a human and a person?

LIZ -- (enters wearing white lab coat, carrying tape recorder 
and stop watch, listening to headphones, clicks stop watch once, 
twice while crossing to podium, sets recorder down on podium, 
picks up pencil, writes briefly, clicks stop watch once, twice)

AMY -- (enters undetected from opposite side, wearing white lab 
coat, carrying coffee mug, crosses to Liz, speaks into Liz's 
ear, imitating a frog) Ribbit, ribbit.

LIZ -- (shakes recorder, taps headphone) How did a frog get into 
my recording of bats?! (turns, startled) Yeouw! Tizdale! I might 
have known it was you!

AMY -- (moves mouth without speaking)

LIZ -- (removes headphones) Huh? What did you say?

AMY -- I said... (moves mouth without speaking)

LIZ -- Tizdale, I'm very busy! I don't have time for your 
practical jokes. Why don't you go back downstairs and study your 
dung beetles.

AMY -- But I solved your problem, Professor Johnson.

LIZ -- (sigh) Alright! How much do you want?

AMY -- Excuse me?

LIZ -- You have been a thorn in my side since you joined the 
faculty, Tizdale. How much money will it take to get you to 
resign?

AMY -- Professor Johnson, is that any way to treat a person who 
just solved your problem?

LIZ -- This is just another ruse of yours to embarrass me. 
(sigh) Alright. I'll bite. What problem have you solved?

AMY -- Well, when I asked you for proof of evolution, you 
couldn't find any true missing links to support your theory. But 
I found one for you.

LIZ -- A missing link!? Where?

AMY -- (points into coffee mug) Here. It's a fish with legs.

LIZ -- That's not a missing link, Tizdale! Those are tadpoles! 
And how did tadpoles get into MY coffee mug?!

AMY -- My coffee mug had coffee in it.

LIZ -- Tizdale! (pops a pill in own mouth, drinks water) You're 
giving me an ulcer!

AMY -- I'm sorry, Professor Johnson. I thought you'd be happy 
about my discovery.

LIZ -- That's no discovery, Tizdale! A tadpole is not a missing 
link! It's a stage in the natural development of a frog.

AMY -- So, what you're saying is, even though these tadpoles 
bear no resemblance whatsoever to a frog, they are indeed 
frogs?

LIZ -- What's the matter with you, Tizdale?! You're a professor 
of biology. Surely, even as dim witted as you are, you knew 
that.

AMY -- So what you're saying is that, if I examine the DNA of 
these Tadpoles, their DNA would look just like the DNA of a 
frog?

LIZ -- Not JUST LIKE a frog, Tizdale. A tadpole's DNA IS frog 
DNA! What's gotten into you!?

AMY -- Well, I heard you on that radio talk show yesterday 
promoting abortion.

LIZ -- I wasn't promoting abortion, Tizdale, I was promoting a 
woman's reproductive choice.

AMY -- The problem is, the baby doesn't get to choose.

LIZ -- Tizdale, don't give me any of your Christian rhetoric. A 
fetus is not a baby.

AMY -- Well, if that's the case, you've got a real problem.

LIZ -- Problem? What problem?

AMY -- I'm afraid you're going to have to either give up your 
stand on evolution or your stand on abortion.

LIZ -- I know what you're trying to do, Tizdale. You're trying 
to rile me. And when you rile me you get me to say things I 
don't mean. And when I say things I don't mean, you get me to 
make wagers with you. And when I make wagers with you, I always 
lose. And when I lose I always end up going to church with you. 
But I'm not going to church with you, Tizdale. I'm not! I'm not 
going to let you rile me. (pops another pill, sips water)

AMY -- (remains quiet, tilts head)

LIZ -- (sigh) Alright, Tizdale. I'm listening. What do tadpoles 
have to do with my abortion rights stand on talk radio?

AMY -- Well, first of all, you said that aborting a child in the 
womb is not murder, because he's not a person.

LIZ -- That's right. It's not a person. It's a fetus. And in the 
early stages it's just a blob of tissue.

AMY -- So, what you're saying is that if I take some DNA from a 
human woman and combine it with some DNA from a human man, I 
don't get the DNA of a human being?

LIZ -- Yes. No.

AMY -- Which is it? If I combine the DNA of a male and female 
frog, I get a tadpole (points) that looks nothing like a frog, 
yet you said it was a frog.

LIZ -- Well, yes. But that's different.

AMY -- Different? Are you saying that what's growing in the 
woman's womb is the evolutionary missing link that you've been 
looking for?

LIZ -- As much as I would love to say "yes" and prove you wrong 
about evolution, Tizdale. The answer is no. The DNA in the fetus 
is HUMAN DNA. 

AMY -- Even the zygote?

LIZ -- Yes, even the fertilized egg.

AMY -- It's human?

LIZ -- I just said it was human DNA, Tizdale!

AMY -- And encoded in the human DNA is the blueprint for the 
hair color, the eye color, the shape of the nose, the dimple in 
the chin, even the child's temperment...

LIZ -- ...I know where you're going with this, Tizdale, but you 
can forget it!

AMY -- But, Professor Johnson, if I was to cut one of these 
tadpoles into pieces and suck it out with an abortion suction, I 
would be killing a frog. Right?

LIZ -- Yes! I know what you're driving at, Tizdale. Yes, and in 
an abortion you would be killing a human organism. But that 
doesn't mean it's a person.

AMY -- I think you should reconsider giving up either abortion 
or evolution, Professor Johnson, because you're beginning to 
sound like a Christian.

LIZ -- A Christian?!

AMY -- Yes, and, if you keep talking like that, you may end up 
having to give up both abortion and evolution.

LIZ -- What are you talking about!

AMY -- If you're saying that the baby in the womb...

LIZ -- ...the fetus. It's a fetus.

AMY -- If you're saying that the fetus in the womb is not a 
person from the beginning. That means that at some time after 
fertilization, it BECOMES a person.

LIZ -- That's exactly what I'm saying!

AMY -- And during what surgical procedure is the personhood 
injected?

LIZ -- There's no such surgical procedure, Tizdale! Are you 
nuts?!

AMY -- Well, if the personhood is not injected from outside the 
womb, that only leaves two possibilities.

LIZ -- Alright, I'm listening.

AMY -- Either the personhood was always there from fertilization 
or it's injected supernaturally from God. Which is it?

LIZ -- (pops another pill, drinks water) You're not going to 
rile me, Tizdale. You're not!

AMY -- I'm not trying to rile you, Professor Johnson. I'm just 
an entomologist. I study bugs. YOU are the expert in higher 
animals. If anyone has an insight into the injection of 
personhood into a human fetus, you have.

LIZ -- You think you've trapped me, don't you, Tizdale? You 
think that you've painted me into a corner. If I say that the 
personhood was there from the beginning then I have to admit 
that abortion at any stage of development is killing a person, 
which is murder.

AMY -- That would be the implication.

LIZ -- And if I admit that the personhood is somehow injected 
supernaturally I have to admit that there is a god.

AMY -- Yes. I guess that would be the implication, wouldn't it?
Well?

LIZ -- Ah. (pops another pill, drinks water) Ah. (raises finger 
to speak, frowns, pops another pill, drinks water) 

AMY -- Well, Professor Johnson it looks like there's now a third 
option for you to consider.

LIZ -- A third option?

AMY -- Yes. Before you painted YOURSELF into a corner, you could 
have chosen to give up either evolution or abortion. Now you 
also have the option of giving up atheism too.

LIZ -- (pops another pill, drinks water) I have one more option.

AMY -- What's that?

LIZ -- (exiting) Giving up my job! I quit!

AMY -- (follows) Professor Johnson!

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