BACK

PROBLEMS 3'?m2f Problems, suffering, thankfulness

LIZ -- (enters) I hate my life! Nothing is going right. I went
to a half dozen different stores today and couldn't find a
decent pair of shoes. Then, my car ran out of gas. And when I
pulled out my cell phone, the battery was dead. So, I went
into the convenience store on the corner, but the cashier
wouldn't give me change for a twenty.

AMY -- (follows, carrying a box full of letters) Oh, that
reminds me. Here's you're mail.

LIZ -- My mail. That's all MY mail?

AMY -- Yes. (offers)

LIZ -- ALL my mail?

AMY -- Yes.

LIZ -- There must be a thousand letters in there. (examines a
few) Hey! They've all got my name on them.

AMY -- Yes. I said it's your mail.

LIZ -- What's going on? I don't get this much mail in a whole
year.

AMY -- I ran an ad on the internet.

LIZ -- The internet? You ran an ad? And I get mail?

AMY -- Yes. The ad read, "My roommate is one of the most
ingrateful people I know. She has more problems than any three 
people I know. Would any of you like to have her problems?" And 
then I listed your problems. 

LIZ -- So, what are the letters for?

AMY -- These are people who would love to have your problems.

LIZ -- I don't get it.

AMY -- Read one of the letters. (pulls letter from box)

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to 
have your problem of not being able to find new shoes. My family  
and I have no money. So we are all barefoot. We would love to be 
able to wear your old shoes. (looks at envelope) Who is this 
from? Bangladesh!? Is this for real?

AMY -- Yes. Here, read another.

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to  
have your problem of not being able to find new shoes. My feet 
were amputated. (looks at envelope) This is really gross! 

AMY -- Isn't it amazing how many people would love to have the 
problem of not being able to find new shoes? Here, read another.

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to 
have the problem of running out of gas occasionally. Our nation 
is in civil war. Our village hasn't had any gasoline for many 
months. (looks at envelope) These letters are from all over the 
world.

AMY -- Yes. Here, read another.

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to 
have the problem of running out of gas. I am an itinerant
missionary. I travel thirty miles between villages on foot. I 
would be grateful to have a car to make these trips, even if I 
ran out of gas occasionally. (looks at envelope) This is for 
real, isn't it?

AMY -- Yes, Here, read another.

LIZ -- Do I have to?

AMY -- Yes. It will be good for you.

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to 
have the problem of dead batteries on my cell phone. At least I 
would have SOME telephone service. My village in the mountains
of Guatemala has no phone service at all. I must travel fifty
miles to a city with phone service and internet connections.

AMY -- Yes. Here, read another.

LIZ -- (opens, reads) To whom it may concern. I would love to 
have your problem of not having change for a twenty dollar
bill. I have been out of work for three months, and my family is 
starving. Twenty dollars would put food on my table for a week. 
(looks at envelope) Alright, you've made you're point. I am an 
ingrateful slob. God has blessed my life incredibly compared to
these people. Compared to them, I have nothing to complain 
about. I never really thought of it before, but the world would 
love to have my problems. I never ever thought I would be 
thankful to have such small problems.

AMY -- Good for you. (exiting) Say, you got change for a twenty?

LIZ -- (follows) Very Funny.
2013 Bob Snook. Conditions for use:
Do not sell any part of this script, even if you rewrite it.
Pay no royalties, even if you make money from performances.
You may reproduce and distribute this script freely,
but all copies must contain this copyright statement.
http://www.bobsnook.org  email: bob@bobsnook.org

BACK